And so long as men die, liberty will never perish
by MsBananaNanner
Summary: Where do you go with your life when you don't know where you've been? Stuck in a war with her own self, S.H.I.E.L.D. presents a solution, and against her better judgement, she agrees. Perhaps there really was someone out there who could understand the minefield of her mind.
1. Chapter 1

_Author notes: Hey everyone, thanks for taking a look at my story! I'm aiming for weekly updates on this one, I hope you enjoy. And as always, let me know what you think!_

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Hospital monitors beeped continuously in the sterile room, flowers and cards noticeably absent from the window sills and countertops. In the bed a young woman sat partially upright, watching the television listlessly. The show playing was a game show of sorts, but despite the exuberance in the contestants' countenance, the girl's face remained placid, her auburn hair lying limp behind her. Blinking slowly through the light filtering through the windows she rested her head back on the stiff pillow.

Just down the hall she could see a man, dressed sharply in a suit, approach the reception desk, flash a badge and utter a few statements to the nurse behind the desk. The woman acknowledged his badge hurriedly, as though she was expecting him and quickly grabbed a few files before leading the man towards the room where the young girl rested.

"I'm sorry we don't have any more information to give you." The woman said softly as the door to the room clicked open. "But hopefully you can make more sense of this than we can."

"Thank you." The man said politely, then indicated that he would rather be alone with the patient. The nurse nodded and exited the room, leaving the files on the table.

After the nurse left, the man stepped over to the girl's bedside and extended his hand for a handshake, which the girl then gingerly accepted with her own hand. "So I hear you've had a rough few days." He said, then added, "I'm Phil Coulson by the way."

"I'd introduce myself, but I wouldn't exactly know what name to give you." She replied motioning to the hospital bracelet around her wrist reading 'Jane Doe, DOB: unknown'. "And yes, I guess my week has been pretty crappy—at least that's what they tell me anyway."

Coulson smiled and nodded, then retrieved a chair from along the wall and took a seat. "They probably told you the food was good, too, didn't they?" He asked nodding toward the untouched tray of food next to her bed.

The girl laughed and replied, "Yeah, I decided not everything they said could be trusted. I mean, have you tasted that stuff? One of them actually told me the soup would be spicy. The worst part is I think he actually believed that."

"I've found the trick is to bribe someone into getting you something from the vending machines. It's still horrible, but at least it's edible." Coulson replied. He didn't typically care for small talk, but since his mission included her trusting him, he figured a few jokes was a small price to pay if it meant she was comfortable around him.

"You say that like you've had a lot of experience with second-class hospital cuisine." She commented.

Coulson shrugged before answering. "I guess I've had my fair share of dealing with the medical system. But mainly I just know the importance of quality snacks and how to get them."

"So tell me Coulson, why are you really here? You and I both know you didn't come to discuss the cafeteria's- thrilling as it is—insignificant dinner menu." The girl asked after a moment of silence.

Coulson took a deep breath, glad she was ready to get down to business. "I work with an organization called S.H.I.E.L.D., and your case has recently come to our attention. We think we may be able to help."

"Right, just as I thought, you're here to ask me more questions like everyone else." The woman in the bed said with a sigh. "They've asked me them all twenty times and I've told them everything I know. If it isn't in that file, I don't know it." She added, motioning towards the file the nurse had left.

"We're aware that your memory has been a bit compromised, but we have alternate resources for retrieving information and we have hopes one of them could be successful."

"Hah, a bit!" The girl chuckled. "Yeah I'd say a bit, more than a bit really." With a bandage on one forearm and various cuts on her exposed arms and face she strained as she tried to pull herself up a bit farther in bed, cringing at the discomfort. "I wake up in a hospital with no idea where I am, no idea what happened to me, the doctors tell me I have some freakish sci-fi robot thing screwed into my back, and heck I don't even remember my own name!" She said, almost laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

"We've been fully informed on your current condition." Coulson reiterated calmly. "We are aware of your lapse in memory as well as your physical… abnormalities." He said, trying to find the right word. "Our goal is not just to learn what and where the biological hardware you seem to have acquired came from, but we also want to help you, hopefully being able to make the transition into a normal civilian life easier."

The girl in the bed looked thoughtful for a bit, pondering Coulson's words and after a time, replied. "So you're wanting to remove it. Or study me, do tests and experiments on me, is that what this is?"

"The doctor's here attempted to remove the tech in your back but found it to be a far more complicated process than they were prepared to undertake at the time. We have a team of specialists who, after doing necessary tests, can attempt to remove them." Coulson tried to keep his tone warm and friendly so as not to scare the woman and risk causing her to turn down his offer of help. Not that that would've meant he wouldn't still be taking her with him to S.H.E.I.L.D. headquarters, but he really rather preferred her to come willingly than to have to forcefully remove her from the hospital.

"I-I don't really know…" The girl replied, trailing off. "I mean I find it flattering that you seem to have taken so much interest in me, but I don't know I haven't really had time to think out my options yet."

Coulson could tell she was apprehensive and hoped his bargaining could convince her to agree. "I'm sure you're dealing with a lot right now, amnesia can be a difficult thing to overcome. It's a new life to get used to, a new world, it's like building everything up from scratch."

"You act like you know what this is like." The girl retorted, mildly annoyed with his fake empathy.

"We just want to help you Miss." Coulson replied, doing his best to keep her calm. "Honestly, our goal isn't to exploit you and we aren't going to just lock you up in a lab somewhere. We just want to help you."

The girl smirked, "So if you're not going to lock me up, what exactly are you going to do with me?"

Coulson smiled back at her, knowing she was seeing just exactly how much she would be able to milk out of the deal. "You'll have a private room with 24/7 security since we don't know yet if you are being tracked by anyone dangerous. Free meals, access to entertainment, recreation, the works. If you need it we will provide it. All we ask in return is that you comply with testing that we will try to keep to a minimum."

The girl rubbed her fingers across the top of the blanket, pondering the man's words. She was skeptical to believe he truly meant everything he was saying, no one else she'd met since waking up had held true to their word, but even still there was something in his eyes that seemed sincere. "Look, I want to believe you." She finally said. "But how do I know this is what's best for me? How do I know you're even telling me the truth?"

Coulson nodded, acknowledging her cautiousness. "Two days ago two men came to see you much as the same way I came to see you now. Yesterday a woman came as well. All of them telling you they could help you, that if you just went with them they could fix everything for you. You didn't even bother to hear them out before sending them away. Yet you've allowed me to sit here and talk with you for ten whole minutes and haven't thrown me out. I'm not lying and you know it, otherwise I wouldn't still be here."

The girl could feel a flush creeping up her neck at Coulson's words. He was right, she had known from the instant those other people started talking that they were lying. For starters the woman was clearly just from some mental institution, she hadn't even bothered to hide her badge well. And the men who had come from the day before were engineers claiming they knew what the mechanism in her back was for and that they could make a huge scientific breakthrough if only she agreed to help them. Of course they also claimed they wouldn't do extensive testing on her, but even if she couldn't remember anything of her life before waking up in the hospital she could tell plain as day that they were going to do constant tests on her until they actually figured out what the mechanism did, so that they could keep their grant funding.

She sighed and reluctantly gave her answer. "You're right. And I'll go with you."

Coulson rose from his chair, elated that she had agreed. It had been easier than he thought to win her over, but he wasn't going to complain about it.

"On one condition." She interjected, before Coulson could say a word. "I want the right to leave at any time, and to not be pursued or tracked if I choose to do so."

Coulson sighed knowing there was no way a deal like that would be approved, but also knowing with her adeptness at spotting lies, giving her a false promise was not going to do any good. "I'm not sure that will be possible. As I said before we are a highly secretive organization and once you are in we can't have you and your knowledge running freely. This is an all or nothing offer, you're either in or you're out."

The girl pursed her lips. She admired that he at least had the decency to tell her the truth, but she also knew in the back of her mind that based on the fact that she already knew about the organization at all meant she was never really going to leave this room unless it was with Coulson or in a body bag.

"I barely even know anything about you or your mysterious super-secret organization." The girl said, trying to make it seem like she still needed some convincing to take the offer. "What makes you think I will sign my life away? You could be an international murderous gang for all I know. What if I don't like what I find, do you think I can just jump into this blindly? I mean I literally don't know anything about this organization except what you've told me."

"In all fairness miss," Coulson replied, "You don't really know anything about yourself either."


	2. Chapter 2

_Author note: I decided to post the first two chapters together since they were pretty short. Also, just a shout out to SparkyGirl123 and for helping with Beta reading!_

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The woman looked up in the large entryway and to the glass ceiling several stories above. The building was huge and people all dressed in business suits and skirts with ironed blouses were walking everywhere across the huge S.H.I.E.L.D. emblem on the floor, all looking like they knew exactly where they were going and wished to be there as soon as possible. She suddenly felt incredibly small and vulnerable, surrounded by the enormity of the building and the bustle of people around her. On either side of her were two security guards who were 'for her safety' they claimed, and a few steps ahead of her walked a determined Coulson.

After a while she stopped trying to keep track of how many hallways they went down, and how many security doors and elevators they had to scan into. Instead she focused on trying to keep up with the brisk pace of the guards beside her, and rubbed the hem of the sweater they had given her between her fingers in an attempt to calm the beating inside her chest.

Eventually they approached a counter where a middle-aged woman sat behind a desk and Coulson slowed the group to a halt. The girl glanced around the room, noticing a definite change in the decorum. Most of the hallways they had come through so far had been fairly dark aside from the overhead lights, with exposed pipes running along the walls in places, making her feel like she truly was in a secret base.

However once they had crossed the threshold into the room they now stood in the whole atmosphere changed. She knew they were below ground— she knew that from the first time they got on the elevator— but even so, this room seemed overall much brighter than any of the others they had walked through. The walls were painted a soft green and there were plants along the walls and pieces of art hanging that she didn't quite understand but regardless gave her a sense of calm.

"Name?" The woman behind the counter asked Coulson after scanning his verification badge.

Coulson looked at the girl before answering the woman. "Um, put Jane Smith for now, original identity unknown."

Jane Smith. The words resounded in the girl's head as she realized that was now her name, she was Jane Smith. She recognized the Jane from the bracelet she had at the hospital but the Smith part sounded unfamiliar to her. She assumed it was just a generic name that a lot of people had. She was surprised at the relief she felt simply from being given a name. It was as though she was given an identity and could finally start building on it.

The woman asked Coulson a series of questions about her history, and then showed the group to a doorway at the side of the room. This led to another hallway, though still decorated nicely like the room with the desk, doors with numbers on them on either side lining the walls. She stopped at a door marked 53 and unlocked it with her keycard. "This room is all yours." The woman said kindly as she motioned Jane through the doorway.

Cautiously she entered, the rest of the group remaining outside, discussing her stay she presumed. She was pleasantly surprised by the nice interior of the room, as she had been expecting nothing more than a glorified cell. There was a bed made up along one wall, with a TV, a bookshelf, and a dresser on the others. There was also a bathroom and she peeked her head in to see it was just as nice as the rest of the room. Pleased with the furnishings she returned to the doorway.

"I got to hand it to you Coulson." Jane stated. "I wasn't entirely sure about all this, but I guess you really are a man of your word."

Coulson just smiled. "Well I've got to be going but I'm going to leave you with Carla and she will help you get settled in." The two guards readied themselves to leave and Coulson said goodbye to Carla who stood with her keycard still in hand.

"But wait!" Jane said as Coulson turned to leave. "When am I going to see you again? You're not just going to drop me off here like an orphaned puppy are you?"

Coulson chuckled at her sarcasm and said as he walked down the hallway, "I'll visit when I can, but no promises. I'm a busy man!"

Jane just smirked and turned back to face Carla. "So, when do we get to eat? I'm starved."


	3. Chapter 3

Jane's chin rested in her hand as she finished the last of her turkey sandwich in the cafeteria. The food there was surprisingly not that bad and she was beginning to grow accustomed to the place. She'd been at S.H.E.I.L.D for three days now and the only testing they had done was a few blood and saliva tests, nothing they hadn't already done at the hospital. Meanwhile she had been free to roam the area as she pleased, with a few restrictions. When Carla had first given her the tour of the place she had explained the rules.

"Curfew is at 10, if you aren't back in your room by then, you will have one warning and then your access privileges will start to be taken away. Other than that you can go anywhere you please except for doors marked as personnel only. But your access card won't open those anyway so you shouldn't have too much of a problem with that unless you are looking to stir up trouble. Cafeteria is open 8 – 8 and all other facilities are open during daytime hours."

She had seen some of the other people staying in the 'L7 compound' as she had come to find it was called, but not many of them had seemed very talkative yet. As far as she could tell L7 was a housing facility for people that S.H.I.E.L.D. deemed as non-volatile persons of interest. Some people had physical signs showing they were unique from the general population, like herself, but some looked pretty normal and she had yet to find out what their secrets were.

As she was finishing the last few bites of her sandwich Jane became aware of a faint noise from a few tables down that sounded like crying. Jane glanced down the row to see a woman a few years older than herself sitting with a tray full of untouched food in front of her on the table. She had her hands up to her face trying to keep her crying quiet but not succeeding, the tears spilling down her cheeks.

Jane quickly scooted her chair out from her table and started making her way towards the woman, unable to bear seeing her in pain any longer. "Hi." She said softly when she reached the woman's table. "Is it alright if I sit here?"

The woman looked up with eyes red from crying and tried to wipe the tears from her face and regain her composure. "U-uh um sure, I-I guess."

"I don't mean to pry." Jane continued after taking a seat. "But what's wrong, if you don't mind me asking?"

The woman looked down at the wood table, wiping her nose with her sleeve. She didn't say anything for half a minute, but then suddenly asked. "Have you ever loved someone?"

Jane was taken aback by her unexpected inquiry. "Well, I don't know. I guess I'd like to believe I did at some point, but I really don't know."

"What do you mean?" The woman asked, puzzled.

"Well I can't exactly remember any of my life before eight days ago so I don't know for sure." Jane replied.

"Oh…" The woman trailed off, her eyes sad. "Well I have. His name was Mark, best friends since 8th grade." The woman smiled, remembering back, then her face returned serious again. "Three days ago was our two year anniversary. He'd made reservations at my favorite restaurant and arranged for our babysitter to take care of Henry, our one year old."

Jane could see the woman's lip quavering and knew she was barely holding back her tears. "They sound lovely." Jane said softly, placing her hand on the woman's arm. She still wasn't entirely sure where the woman was going with the story but she had a sinking feeling that something had happened to the woman's husband.

"When we got home the front door was wide open. That should've been the first sign that something was wrong I should have listened to Mark not to go in." She said, he voice shaky and tears brimming her eyelids. "But I knew Henry was in there and I had to know he was alright, I just—" The woman had to stop, unable to go on.

Jane sat across the table in silence, not entirely sure how to comfort the woman, but desperately wanting to console her.

"We went upstairs heading to Henry's room." The woman spoke quietly after a few minutes of silence. "I raced down the hallway, Mark behind me pleading with me to slow down. Henry's door was partially open and I could see the babysitter's foot as she was laying on the floor. I knew then that it was bad but I couldn't make myself stop I just keep running towards that door." Jane felt a lump growing in her throat, but she forced it back.

"There was so much blood. Oh god there was so much blood." She said, choking on tears. "It was everywhere and I couldn't even scream I was so terrified that I just froze. And that's when I saw him, just standing there, holding Henry in one arm and a gun in the other. His mask covered his face so I don't even know who he was. I just know he was evil." She ran her fingers through her hair and squeezed her eyes shut like she was trying to erase the image from her mind.

"He started asking a whole bunch of questions about a Project Cardwell and I had no idea what he was talking about but he just kept asking and demanding an answer." She continued quickly. "I told him I had no clue what he was asking but he insisted I knew something. Mark was in the room too and he denied it as much as I did. When he didn't get any answers he lifted the gun to Henry's head and he—he—" The woman lifted both her hands to her mouth to try to keep her sobs quiet. Jane sat in shock, shaking her head slowly back and forth in disbelief.

"He didn't even hesitate. And everything was in slow-motion. I know I was screaming but I couldn't even hear myself. He motioned us over to the wall with his gun and demanded we tell him where the vials were. He pointed his gun straight at Mark but he only glared back at him. Then I heard him shoot two more rounds, and Mark's cries of agony following. It was all such a blur, but I still can't get it out of my head. Of course I instantly dropped to his side, though still reeling from the shock.

"Then all of a sudden I heard noise from downstairs sounding like a bunch of people storming in. The man peeked through the curtain and I could see cars with flashing lights out front. He mumbled a bunch of words in some other language and then stormed out of the room and I never saw him again. When the hoard of men in tactical gear made it up to where we were Mark was almost gone, and I was gripping his hand with all the strength I had, trying to get him to hold on. The first guy who came in immediately started asking where the guy went and I shakily pointed the direction he went. Then they started asking Mark if the intel was compromised and Mark shakily breathed out a weak 'no'. It wasn't until then that I realized what had actually just happened, and Mark looked up at me knowing that I then knew. The last thing he ever said to me was 'I'm sorry'. Then they brought me here and told me what Mark really did for a living and shut me away in here to 'protect me'. My husband and my son were killed because of them and all they did was say sorry and lock me away."

"I can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now." Jane said quietly after a moment. "I would say I'm sorry but I don't know how much good that would do. All I know is that I will always be here for you if you need anything." She moved from her seat to the other side of the table so she could put her arms around the table. "There aren't magic words I can say that can fix this but I think having a friend might help. What do you say, friends?"

The woman looked up at Jane, her eyes still sad, but a faint smile tugging at her lips. "Sure. Friends."

"Great." Jane replied with a smile. "I'm Jane."

"Teresa."


	4. Chapter 4

Jane pulled at the thin gown as she lay still for the body scanning machine, the hum of it surrounding her. She did this scan every month, this being the third one, but it always seemed to give her a bit of apprehension.

"Please hold still Miss Smith." A voice echoed over the speakers.

"Sorry." Jane replied, letting her hands fall still at her side. They told her the first time she had one of these scans that the machine worked like an MRI machine except that it didn't use magnets, which was why they could use it on her. Whereas an MRI magnet would have created a huge problem with the hardware in her back. Jane had no idea what either of the machines were but nodded along pretending to understand. All she knew was that it gave the scientists the best picture of what was going on inside her.

However, it wasn't like they ever found anything extraordinarily helpful. They told her the mechanism on her back was incredibly complex and that they had no idea how to safely remove it, but that they also did not know what its purpose or function was. Regardless they deemed it necessary to repeat the same scans and tests countless times, confident that somehow something would magically change.

Rather than questioning or arguing with the scientists Jane found it easier to just let them do what they wanted. And it wasn't like the tests they did were that bad anyway, at least not most of the time. The only days she didn't like were the ones where they tried different methods of shock therapy, in an effort to both power up the mechanism on her back as well as to hopefully bring some of her missing memories back. Those days were always the worst because not only were the shock sessions physically painful, but they also left her exhausted for hours afterwards and her brain hazy.

Other than that the only days she absolutely didn't look forward to were the days they quizzed her memory. Once a week, every week she had to sit across a table from one of S.H.E.I.L.D.'s psychoanalysts while they asked her a long list of questions and instructed her on a million different mind exercises. Although despite all their greatest efforts Jane never could remember anything of her past.

Jane could feel the coldness of the concrete floors seeping into the bottoms of her bare feet as she followed the scientists from the scanning room back to the testing lab. She had become relatively familiar with the two scientists, though not necessarily to the point of being considered friends, rather more of fond acquaintances.

"You can have a seat over there for now." One of the men wearing a white lab coat stated.

Silently Jane nodded and padded her way across the room and climbed onto the exam table. She could see the two men gathered around their monitor screen inspecting the images from the scan. They were talking quietly to each other and she strained to hear their conversation.

"It's too risky, we might be able to remove some of the lumbar junctions, but the cranial junction is too unstable to disconnect without risking severe damage." She could faintly make out as she watched the taller of the two men pointing to different areas of her scan.

"How much damage can we really do?" The other man whispered back. "We both know she's never going to get her memories back if we just keep doing the same thing. This is our only shot, we're out of options Scott."

Jane watched as the man rubbed his chin with his hand thoughtfully for a few moments before replying. "Maybe it's not our only option, perhaps there's another way."

The shorter man pulled off his glasses in frustration and said, "There aren't any more options. We've tried everything else, don't you see that?"

"No I don't mean another type of removal, necessarily." The taller man leaned closer to the other man and said very quietly. "What if we called Stark in on this? You know if anyone can figure this out it's him, and you've said it yourself this looks like it could easily be a version of one of his."

The other man looked at him, his eyebrows furrowed and sighed. "Do you know how hard it would be to get approval for that? And even if we did, there's no guarantee he will even agree, and you can bet we aren't going to be given the clearance to—"

"Who is Stark?" Jane interjected from the other side of the room. The name sounded somewhat familiar but she couldn't place where she had heard it. "I said, who is he?" She repeated, more sternly when the scientists only stared at her wordlessly. "I know you don't know how to remove this, but if you think this Stark may have an answer, I deserve to know about it."

The two scientists looked at each other nervously and fumbled for an answer. "U-uh, we're not really supposed to disclose any information."

"Hang on a minute." Jane said, hopping off the table and walking towards the two scientists. "Stark…I know where I heard that name, he was on the news a while back, Iron Man right?"

"Look really, we shouldn't be talking about this." The shorter man said with a nervous laugh. "I'm uh, going to go make a call I'll be right back." With that the man shuffled out of the room, leaving Jane alone with the other man.

"Sorry about him." The man said. "He gets a bit uptight about procedure and rules. Now don't go telling everyone you meet about this, but I agree you have a right to know. S.H.I.E.L.D. has a contract with Tony Stark as an advisor and we—well I— believe he may be able to remove your biomechanical spine."

Jane relaxed her face, hearing the man's words. "So when do we meet him, how soon can we start?"

"You sure seem eager to move things along, what's changed?" The man asked.

Jane paused a moment and then answered, "I guess I've just gotten a bit tired of being cooped up in here. I'm just anxious to move on I suppose. But anyway, back to what I was saying, how long until he can come in?"

"Well it's not quite that simple you see, only a select people have the clearance to contact him and even then it still depends on if he agrees to assist on this. It will take some time to get approval on this, there's paperwork and lots of phone calls just to get to the right people to make it happen."

"Do you really think this man can do what you say he can?" Jane asked after pondering his words.

The man looked at Jane, his eyes sincere, "Yes, I think he can."

"Then I know just who to call." Jane said as she set her shoulders back and walked out of the exam room, brushing past the other scientist who was entering the room just as she was leaving; who then looked up to his partner with a look of confusion that was only met with a shrug.


	5. Chapter 5

"You had calls forwarded to my personal number." Coulson said wryly as he approached the cafeteria table where Jane was seated.

"You said you'd visit." She retorted just as indignantly. Coulson smirked and nodded, then took a seat across from her at the table. "Fry?" she inquired, holding the basket of salty fries out to him, a half-eaten one in her hand.

"No thanks, I already ate." He replied. "Staff says you're settling in here pretty well." He continued as he glanced around the cafeteria. "They say you've been a great tenant."

"It's great here, honestly. The staff are all nice, well mostly, and the food isn't entirely terrible. I'm really grateful for this, honestly, but Coulson it's been over three months. I haven't seen the sun, let alone the outside world, and I can't even walk to the bathroom without being monitored." Jane paused and looked at Coulson's eyes. "Coulson you've got to get me out of here I can't live like this forever." She pleaded.

Coulson sighed, knowing there was truth in what she was saying. "I understand you want to get on with your life, but it could be very dangerous for us to integrate you into everyday life when we don't know how stable you will be. You still don't know any of your life before we picked you up, and with the complexity of the mechanism you have, it's not an unlikely possibility that whoever put it there is looking to get it back."

"So what am I supposed to do, live my whole life underground?" Jane replied disappointedly.

"I'm not saying it's a permanent solution, but I don't think it's wise for you to leave S.H.I. . just yet." Coulson said.

"What if," Jane said, "I didn't leave S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

Coulson looked at Jane, not following her meaning. "I thought that was what I just said."

"No, I mean, not staying here but not leaving S.H.I.E.L.D." Jane clarified. When Coulson just looked at her blankly she continued. "What if I worked for S.H.I.E.L.D., if I became an agent, like you for example? I mean that way you can still keep tabs on me but I don't have to stay cooped up in here 24/7." She tried to act calm, and not show her eagerness. She'd been pondering the idea for a while, but now that it was so close to becoming a possibility it was hard for her to contain her excitement.

"And how do you presume to be qualified for that?" Coulson asked.

Jane grimaced, seeing her only opportunity slowly slip away. "I don't know, I know the idea seems crazy but honestly I will do any job, it doesn't have to be anything fantastic. And I'm more than willing to learn if somebody will train me. I just need to do something that doesn't require staying here!"

"You know I'd like to do that, but it's not just a matter of me convincing a few people to find you a desk job and keep an eye on you. The fact still remains that there hasn't been a breakthrough with the device on your back and I will never be able to get approval from your release from L7 until it's proven entirely safe or is removed." Coulson said.

"Actually," Jane replied, lowering her voice a bit. "That's one of the other reasons I wanted to talk to you." She grabbed the half empty basket of fries and moved them to an adjacent table. "The scientists I've got are never going to find a solution, they would have found something by now, but they also had an idea of someone who could, Stark."

Coulson let out a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, his arms folded. "They shouldn't have told you about him, I don't even know how they knew, actually."

"It's not their fault." Jane quickly added. "I was eavesdropping and made them tell me. But they do think he's the best option. Please, I know you have the authority to ask him, or at least know the person who can." Coulson looked like he was weighing the options in his head, but gave no response so Jane continued. "You promised me help and you promised me answers. This is how I'm going to get them."

Finally Coulson replied, "I'm not going to make you any promises, Stark can be a bit…temperamental at times, but I'll do my best."

"And about me getting a position at S.H.E.I.L.D.?" Jane added as they both rose from their chairs.

"I'll look into it." Coulson answered.

Jane nodded and let him leave. Looking to her right she saw one of her friends, Martin, walk in the door. She sent him a smile and a wave, then walked across the cafeteria to meet him. "Hey Martin! How are you doing today?" She said happily as she approached him. The man was very old and managed a half toothless grin upon seeing Jane. "Have you heard? They have butterscotch pudding today, I know it's your favorite!" She continued with enthusiasm, ignoring his lack of verbal response.

Coulson watched from the doorway on the opposite side of the room as Jane slowly led the old man to the food counter, helping him with his tray. "Who is he?" Coulson asked Carla, who was with him at the cafeteria entrance.

"That's Martin, brought him in two months ago. We found him at an abandoned flour mill in Moneta half dead and hooked up to a bunch of different chemical IV's. We had suspicions that the Kingpin's were using the place as a testing site for their bio-weapons, so we brought him in with hopes that he could remember anything about them. The only problem was that he had severe dementia and anything he happened to remember was distorted from the drugs they had him on." Carla readjusted the files in her hands and continued. "It was only because Jane took such an interest in him and gave him the attention and patience he needed that we were able to track them down and shut down the whole operation, saving 19 civilians who were also being tested on. He was so distant when he came in, but now he is completely changed and it's all because of her.

"She seems to have a habit of doing that with the majority of people who come through here actually." Carla commented. "One woman had witnessed her family being killed by a CRE operative and Jane had her actually laughing and playing games with the others in just a week and a half. Jane had only even been here a few days." Coulson and Carla stepped to opposite side of the doorway to let two people exit, then Carla continued.

"Another time a little boy was here who had a horrible mutation as a result of a botched science experiment. He wouldn't stop screaming for days at a time, but somehow she managed to get through to him and convinced him to let us do the surgery to heal him." Coulson said nothing in return but watched as Jane helped the old man put a bowl of fruit onto his tray, talking and laughing with him as he had a huge grin on his face.

"She really does have a gift." Carla added after a moment of silence. "And I don't think she even realizes it."


	6. Chapter 6

Jane gritted her teeth together, wincing at the pain. Sparks of light danced on the back of her tightly closed eyelids and she could feel a small bead of sweat trickling down her temple.

"You mind going a bit slower there, hammer hands?" She bellowed sarcastically as the feeling slowly faded. "I know you needed me awake so I could tell you when it hurt but I didn't figure you'd keep testing it out just for kicks."

"Yeah well I'm not used to working on machines that talk back quite so much." A man's voice replied nonchalantly from behind her.

"I'm not a machine." Jane answered simply. "You on the other hand…" She trailed off.

"You know, actually I take that back." The man said, seemingly ignoring Jane's comment. "A lot of my machines talk back to me, now that I think about it."

"Sir, her blood pressure is dropping, you really should go slower." A nurse interjected as she watched a monitor screen.

He seemed oblivious to the woman's words and continued muttering thoughtfully, "I think I have to prefer J.A.R.V.I.S. though, not quite so cranky."

Jane slowly blinked her eyes open and they adjusted to the light of the room. With her face situated in the padded hole of the reclined chair she couldn't see much else except her hands resting on her knees where they had been before.

"Mr. Stark, If you don't let her stabilize she could go into shock." The nurse continued, pulling the mask from her face. "Mr. Stark!" She repeated forcefully when he didn't acknowledge her statement.

Tony sighed, partly out of frustration and partly of irritation, and tossed the plier-like object in his hands onto the metal tray beside him. "Doesn't matter," he said, pulling his mask off. "I've seen all I can, you can get her stitched up." Dropping his plastic gloves in a trash can he walked out the door, leaving the nurse simply shaking her head in annoyance.

"Wallace, Romero, you're up." She said, motioning to the two figures to the side of the room. "I don't know why I even let them talk me into working with him again." She muttered as she exited the room with a sigh.

"Miss Smith?" A woman asked, approaching Jane, still draped with the surgery linens. "My name is Jessica Wallace. Dr. Romero and I are going to get you cleaned up and get you into a room where you can rest until the paralytic is out of your system."

Jane could hear the man preparing to put stitches in her back and asked, "How long until it wears off?"

"It shouldn't take too long, I'm sure you'll be up and walking in less than an hour." Jessica replied kindly.

"So I take it he's like that a lot?" Jane asked after letting out a deep breath.

Jessica worked at removing the several dozen electrodes hooked up to Jane's head as she answered. "Who, Stark? I'm guessing you don't see the news much. He was actually pretty tame today, believe me once you get him going you can never get him to shut up."

"That other nurse didn't seem to care much for him." Jane commented.

Romero stifled a chuckle and Jessica shot him a knowing glare. Continuing his uniform stitches he moved up Jane's back toward her neck. "Webster doesn't care for a lot of people, Tony Stark just happens to rank pretty high on her list."

"So why agree to the job when she knew he was involved?" Jane asked.

Jessica shrugged, "She's good at her job. Fury knew she'd had experience working with him before and requested her specifically. I guess she felt better knowing there was somebody with him who could keep him in his boundaries."

Wallace and Romero finished their work quickly as the room sat in silence. Jane grimaced as Romero finished the last few stitches at the base of her skull, the needle tugging at her now sensitive skin. She felt a jolt as the man pressed a series of controls, making the chair begin raising itself to an upright position. The chair whirred as it moved and slowly Jane felt herself beginning to tilt backwards until it lurched to a stop and she was now sitting up straight, straddling the back of the medical chair.

"Uh, a little help here? There's about to be a cleanup on aisle three." Jane interjected when she realized she was now tipping off the padded chair like a tree being chopped in the forest, fully unable to move any of her extremities.

Both doctors quickly lurched to catch her, Romero sending a tray full of tools crashing to the floor in doing so. "I am so, so sorry." Jessica quickly apologized, her face flushed with embarrassment. "I didn't realize the chair went all the way up, I'm so sorry."

"Relax," Jane said with a smirk, "it's not a big deal, it could have happened to anyone. Besides it would have been hilarious to see me just plop over like that!" Jessica let out a small laugh, but still felt horrible about it. Supporting Jane she motioned Romero to bring the rolling bed closer and together they lifted the immobile Jane onto it.


	7. Chapter 7

Sitting under the stiff sheets Jane thought back to the last time she was in such a position—the day she met Coulson. So much had changed since then, yet she was nowhere closer to finding any answers. Closing her eyes she let her head fall back onto the pillow and let out a long sigh. The room's television was on and she could just make out the words of the news anchor, reporting the events of the day.

"Still no official reports have been made as of yet, but many of our viewers have theories of their own as to what the mysterious object unearthed in the arctic may be." Jane slowly opened her eyes and focused on the screen where a woman was standing on a sidewalk, a microphone in her hand.

"So tell us, what do you think was found in the ice?" The blonde woman asked as she held the microphone out for a middle aged man with a portly belly and cut off jean shorts. "I'm telling you, its aliens!" He drawled emphatically. "Y'all may think I'm crazy, but I had a buddy who was in New Mexico when all that funny business was goin' on. He saw it with his own eyes, beings comin' right outta the sky! They ain't gonna fool me, I promise you that!"

In the background Jane could see a group of teenagers running through the streets holding up signs stating that the whole thing was just a government conspiracy. Others were waving American flags and many others simply bustling about, but the whole block, it seemed, was buzzing with activity.

"I don't care what they say it is that they've gone and found up there, but unless they show me proof right in front of my own eyes, I won't believe a word of it!" The heavily accented man continued, taking full advantage of his few moments of stardom.

"Well there you have it folks, all of this is explained by happenings of extra-terrestrials!" The reporter woman added lightheartedly, turning back towards the camera. "Right now we are going to take a quick commercial break, but when we come back we should get a chance to find out exactly what it is that has been lodged in the ice all this time. I'm Monica Howard and you're watching KHLQ 10." The screen cut away from the woman's large smile and in its place an animation about toothpaste appeared.

Jane slowly reached across the bed to grab the remote from the side table and pressed mute, silencing the overly enthusiastic jingle about the spectacular taste of spearmint. The door to her room squeaked open and she saw Tony Stark enter, followed by Jessica who was holding a clipboard and a syringe of medication.

"What, no running to hug me and profuse thanking me for saving your life? Very rude don't you think, Wallace?" Tony commented sarcastically when Jane said nothing upon his entering the room.

"The sedation is still wearing off, that wouldn't be possible Mr. Stark." Jessica replied as she made her way to Jane's IV and inserted the medication. Jane's reply, however, was simply to answer his comment with a middle finger in the air and a knowing smirk on her face.

Tony chuckled and leaned against the window sill, looking out at the streets and buildings below. "Well I guess it's nice to know it didn't harm your delightful sense of endearing charm now isn't it."

"Well of course." Jane replied with a smile. "You'd get awfully bored with no one to return the favor." After a brief pause she added, "And I don't think prodding and poking around a person's most vulnerable and sensitive collection of nerves just for the fun of it constitutes as 'saving my life'."

Tony turned away from the window and placed his hands in his pockets. "While it was indeed interesting, I'm not sure 'fun' is the word I would use to describe it."

"Well in any case, you figured out how to fix it, so that's all that matters right?" Jane asked after a moment's silence.

Tony's smile faded before he finally replied, "About that, I'm afraid the news isn't quite what we were hoping for." Jane felt her stomach flip, hearing his words. "We looked all around, there's nothing else we could have looked at."

"And you found nothing." Jane said, finishing his sentence.

"Well no, not entirely, it's just that the answer isn't one you're going to like." He answered.

Jane shifted and sat up in the bed, her face serious. "Well, you might as well tell me. I'm not made of glass; I won't shatter just because something doesn't go the way I wanted it to."

Tony didn't answer right away, and looked at Jessica until she took the hint and exited the room, taking her clipboard with her. "I inspected every bit of the device closely, but in the end, I would advise against removal, at least for now. Whoever implanted it did so in a way that it is basically hard wired into your nervous system."

"Okay, so what does that mean? Why can't it be removed, couldn't you just sever the link between the machine and my nerves?" Jane asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Tony breathed deeply and exhaled. "Well ideally yes, we would need to detach it from your brain stem. At the very top of the device two probes were implanted into your skin, just at the base of your neck. These act as neural wires directly linking your brain to the machine. Now removing these themselves could theoretically be possible. The only problem is that before we could safely do this we would want to remove the similar probes from along the spinal column. These act the same as the ones I mentioned before, but they create a super speed highway for the neurons from your brain to the rest of your body. The difference, however, is that these are intertwined very deeply into the spinal column."

Jane sat in silence, taking in all of his words but not fully processing them all. "So why would removing these be so impossible? I mean, I understand you're saying it would be difficult, but difficult doesn't mean there is no hope of success."

"Yes, I will admit, I do think there is a possibility that these probes could be removed, however I don't think the benefits outweigh the risks. Which, coming from me says quite a bit I might add. Even the very slightest mistake or off calculation would leave you paralyzed and there is nothing we could do about it." Tony said, taking a seat in one of the room's chairs.

Jane took a deep breath, trying to accept what he was telling her. "What about what you said before, about the top probes? You said those would be easier to remove, so couldn't you just remove those first? Then you could disable the rest of it and remove it easily."

"I've considered that as well." Tony said lounging back into the chair. "But this isn't any ordinary tech we're dealing with here. This thing is, in a sense, a living and breathing organism. Without completely disassembling it I have no way of figuring out exactly what its purpose is and I'm just afraid that if we tear it away from your brain, which is essentially our only way of controlling it, that it could wreak an even greater havoc on you."

"What are you saying?" Jane said with a nervous laugh. "That if removed it would go into self-destruct mode and blow me up?" She asked, astounded and stunned.

"Well it is a possibility, I couldn't say for sure. But whoever did this definitely knew what they were doing so I wouldn't put it past them to install a safety catch. And for all we know it could be essential to keeping you alive." He answered.

Jane rubbed her palm over her eyes. "Well isn't that just wonderful." She said, more to herself than to Stark. "Can't know what it is until it's off, but can't get it off until we know what it is. Delightful."

"Look, it isn't entirely all bad, I mean sure you may not have gotten all the answers you were looking for, but at least now you don't have to worry about wondering if it can or can't be removed." Tony added, "You can move on with your life, get back to normal, whatever the hell that is."

Jane let out a small laugh, frustration building within her. "Right, because that's just as simple as can be."

Tony sat back up in his chair and said, "Sure it may not be what's normal to everyone else, but it isn't like this will stop you from ever accomplishing the things you want to do, or living an ordinary life."

"No it just means I'll be living every day wondering if I've got a ticking time bomb in me that will one day blow me to Istanbul." Jane paused, trying to keep her frustration from becoming full on anger. "It's just—this was my one chance, my one clue to figuring out who I was before all this happened. Now it's just back to being the freak whose part robot…" She trailed off.

"Seems fine to me." Tony said.

"Maybe to you," Jane snapped back. "But you don't get it. You have no idea what it's like to be betrayed by own body. To be forced to go on living knowing that the very thing that could be keeping you alive could also be the very thing trying to kill you." She closed her eyes, her jaw clenched, trying not to let her frustrations get the best of her.

Tony just looked at his hands in his lap as he listened to her words in silence. That was where she was wrong, he did know what it was like; he knew exactly what it was like. He gave her a moment after finishing speaking and then without a word slowly pulled of his jacket until she could see the arc reactor glowing in his chest.

"Wha-what's that?" Jane questioned upon seeing the odd light emanating from under his shirt.

"It's the thing that's keeping me alive but also slowly killing me—or at least it was until I finally found a solution to that problem." He somberly replied.

Jane's breath caught in her chest as her last remarks quickly raced through her mind. "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't know" She stuttered, meanwhile internally berating herself for being so inconsiderate. Thinking back she vaguely remembered seeing something about it on one of the TV's while at L7 and wondered how she could have forgotten such a peculiar fact.

Tony didn't seem to want to divulge more details and Jane didn't want to pry further so the two sat in silence. To alleviate the uneasiness in the room Jane diverted her eyes to the muted TV, only halfway paying attention to what was happening. The blonde reporter was talking again, in the midst of the crowded street as a black van turned the corner and was trying to make its way down the street. This van, it seemed, was what everyone had been waiting for as the crowds were soon gathered around it, making it increasingly difficult for it to progress towards its destination. Eventually the van made it to the entrance of the building where the reporter was standing and several men in suits got out and made their way to the back door of the van.

There were several police officers gathered as well, all trying to keep the onlookers away from the men trying to unload whatever it was that had been found. Using a large cart the men struggled to unload the very large object amidst the throng of people straining to get a look at what was hidden in what looked to be some sort of cooling box.

Through the shakiness caused by the camera man trying to get a closer look, Jane could see what looked like a blue and red shield peeking out from under a thick layer of ice. It was obvious that everyone else had seen it as well, as the bustling crowd soon became a chaotic frenzy, everyone conversing excitedly. The importance of the event was lost on Jane and she wondered what the shield with the star meant. When the camera panned back to the reporter her face looked excited and utterly astounded. Her lips were moving quickly, but Jane couldn't make out what she was saying.

A headline soon appeared below the woman's face stating the mysterious object was presumed to be Captain America's shield. Jane had no idea who this captain was supposed to be, but she was intrigued by the fact that while it was presumed to be a shield recovered from the ice, the piece they were now transporting from the van to the building was much larger—large enough in fact to hold the entire owner of the shield as well.

Another man emerged from the van, and reporters with cameras quickly flocked to him, their flashes illuminating his face. He raised his hands to calm the commotion and then spoke to the crowd all together once that had calmed down. Jane couldn't tell what he was saying but assumed he was giving the official announcement as to what was found. When he was done the crowd once again erupted into a frenzy, one even greater than before. The blonde reporter returned to the screen, her expression one of total shock. The caption below her changed to read "Cap is back! Mystery in the arctic confirmed to be Captain America."

"Question," Jane said to Tony who hadn't been watching the newscast. "Who is Captain America?"

"What?" Tony asked, looking up at her with a confused look. "Why?"

Jane grabbed the remote and clicked off the mute button.

"In an unexpected turn of events, today has definitely become one that no one would have seen coming." The reporter halfway shouted, trying to overcome the roar of the crowds behind her. "There are still a lot of unanswered questions but we do have confirmation from an official source that the object recovered from the ice is indeed none other than the famous Steve Rogers!" She continued on to explain the history of how he had gone missing during WW2 and no one knew where he was until now. The men who were transporting the frozen man and shield had long since gone into the building where onlookers were unable to follow, but the screen kept replaying the clip where you could catch a glimpse of the shield.

Tony stood staring at the screen, his back to Jane, not moving at all. "Well, who is he?" Jane reiterated again.

Slowly Tony turned around to face her, his face ashen white. She was taken aback by his reaction to the news story and added, "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Mumbling under his breath he replied, "That's because I have." Without any further explanation he quickly headed out the door, letting it hang open behind him.

Jane's eyebrows were furrowed, confused by his strange words. "I guess I'll see you later then." She said after him, even though she knew he couldn't hear her. She turned back to the television, hoping to make some sense as to what the whole ordeal was about.


	8. Chapter 8

Jane massaged the area between her eyebrows, and leaned back in her rolling office chair. "How's your Covington reports coming?" A familiar voice sounded from behind her. Jane spun around to see her co-worker Nicki lounging against the corner of her cubicle making the most dramatically exhausted face she could muster.

Jane smiled and replied, "Just sent them off." With a sigh she added, "37 pages in all their mind numbingly redundant glory."

Nicki slid away from the cubicle divider and stumbled her way to Jane's desk where she promptly took a seat atop it. "I swear, this week feels like it will never end." She stated.

Used to having her outgoing friend making herself at home, Jane allowed her to get comfortable. "It does seem like we've been getting quite a lot of the tedious paperwork lately. Did we lose a bunch of interns or something?"

"Who knows?" Nicki exhaled. "But I'm beginning to get sick of it. I signed up to do actual intelligence work not all this ridiculous data entry they could've hired a monkey to do."

"Yeah, and what are you going to do, transfer to field ops?" Jane said with a laugh.

"I just might!" Nicki said. "What? Don't laugh, I'm serious! They don't value us anymore, they just hole us up down here. You know, I'm really beginning to understand why printers jam up so often. There's only so much paper you can have incessantly shoved at you before you have a full on psychotic break."

Jane smiled, relaxing back into the fabric back of the chair. "You wouldn't last a day in field ops. You'd be too preoccupied with correcting the fashion sense of the person trying to kill you, they'd get you before you had a chance to criticize their improper use of knits and leather."

"Hey, now that's no joke. That combination is not just a crime of fashion it's a crime against humanity!" Both girls chuckled, and after a moment Nicki added, "But seriously, I feel like they just forget about us sometimes. Either that or they've just begun taking us for granted. I mean, I've been here what, two and a half years? And you started a few months before me, right?"

"Yeah, three months." Jane confirmed.

"Exactly, and what has it gotten us? We're still exactly where we started. Sure we have our own desks and cubicles now, but I thought at the very least I'd be an assistant to someone at least mildly important by now." Nicki continued, dangling her legs off the side of the desk. When Jane didn't offer any commentary she added, "Don't you think you deserve something better?"

Jane thought on her friend's words a moment and said, "Well I don't know, I didn't come into this job with any expectations, so this seemed good to me. It's work, and I can do it. Seems like a win-win to me."

"Sure, but don't you think you've earned the right to something better? Surely you don't want to do expense reports and data analysis for the rest of your life!" Her friend said emphatically. Jane just shrugged. "Oh come on. You can't say we haven't earned it, we were here all through the battle of New York, remember? The whole world, falling apart, and some crazy lunatics running around in funny costumes. Meanwhile, who was here to hold the department together? Why us of course, 'Newbie Duo Nick and Jay' to the rescue!" Nicki's theatrics caused a smile to spread across Janes lips, accompanied by an obligatory eye roll.

"I think you're forgetting the very important fact that the 'lunatics in funny costumes' just so happened to be the ones who saved us all from the Chitauri." Jane said, unconvinced by her friend's argument. "Besides, we only did what anyone else in our position would have done."

This time it was Nicki's turn to roll her eyes. "Oh please. Always the one to be humble! When we got word of what was happening, half the crew was ready to jump ship, the other half itching to run out in the streets to 'help'. Maybe you forgot who kept us all calm, and more importantly, alive."

"Yeah but—" Jane said.

"No, don't say you were just doing your job, we both know that's crap." Nicki interrupted, knowing where her friend was going with it. "We don't get paid nearly enough for that. Besides, Anderson was an absolute mess; some leader he turned out to be. But then someone had the mind enough to make sure we kept our heads screwed on straight. I still don't know, by the way, how in the heck you convinced me to be your second command. You know I hate being the responsible one."

"Says the girl who demands a raise." Jane said, eyebrows raised, and a smirk on her face.

Nicki made a face and replied, "You know what I mean."

"So are you really thinking of applying for a transfer?" Jane asked, after a moment.

Nicki took a deep breath and replied, "Yeah, if nothing changes soon. I'd hate to leave you, you know that, but I'm afraid if I don't be more assertive I'll never get anywhere. I couldn't bear the thought of the rest of my life being spent in these cubicles. Tom says there are rumors of something big about to happen soon, don't know what, but I'd sure hate to be here when it does and miss out on all the fun!

"Besides," She said with a smile, "I'd like to hold on to the idea that I might meet one of the avengers someday." She looked above her as though envisioning her future life of being whisked off her feet by Captain America.

"Weren't you just calling them costume-clad lunatics a minute ago?" Jane questioned.

"Well, sure." Nicki answered, "But you've got to admit they're pretty fine, yeah?"

Jane just laughed softly at her friend before remarking, "I've met one of them before; did I ever tell you about it?"

Upon hearing her co-worker's statement, Nicki instantly snapped out of her daydream and stared at Jane, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Ha ha, very funny."

"No really, I have!" Jane said, with a knowing smile.

Nicki continued to stare at her, unsure if she was joking or actually serious. "When?! Who!?" She exclaimed.

"It was before I took this job." Jane said nonchalantly. "When I had my—" She stopped abruptly, remembering Nicki didn't know about her physical abnormality. "I was selected for the new medical screenings Stark was creating for new recruits. They needed to test them, and I guess I was a good candidate." Jane kept her external emotions calm, but inside she was berating herself for almost letting her secret slip out. After the procedure with Stark, Coulson had warned her of the risks that could arise if people started finding out about it. Since then, she had been careful to wear clothes that disguised it, wearing her hair in a way to cover it when possible.

Nicki's jaw gaped. "No way! So you really met him?" She asked in disbelief. When Jane simply nodded with a smile she said excitedly, leaning in, "You have to tell me everything! What was he like? Is he really like they show him on the news? Did he try to hit on you? Oh! Did you get to see the suit?"

Jane chuckled at Nicki's enthusiasm. "Calm down, it wasn't that exciting. He pretty much just monitored his machines, all the while oozing charisma and irresistible charm." She said with an air of sarcasm. "I didn't even get to talk to him really. No flirting, no secret hookups, and no Iron Man suits anywhere to be seen."

Nicki seemed a bit disappointed in the lack of juicy detail, but then her face suddenly lit up and she said, one eyebrow raised, "But he did see you naked, yes?"

Jane rolled her eyes again and replied, "Not really, they do in fact believe in giving people gowns for these kinds of things."

Nicki sighed, "Come on, let me have this. My best friend has met freaking Iron Man, I have to have something interesting to say when I need to impress a lot of people with this information!"

Knowing there was no use arguing the point further Jane let the subject drop. Glancing at the bottom corner of her computer screen she saw the clock readout saying 6:32. "Fifteen more minutes and we can finally get out of here."

Nicki checked her watch and said, "A few of us are going to O'Reilly's tonight, you should come." Seeing Jane's look of unease she quickly added, "I know you aren't much of one for drinking, but come on, you never hang out with us anymore! Besides," She said with a smirk, "I'm pretty sure Marcus has a thing for you, and you never know what could happen!"

Jane let out a small laugh, "Everyone knows Marcus has a thing for me. You know, I know, heck I'm pretty sure Clark from accounting knows!"

"Yeah, well still, you should come. Marcus can be a bit of a jerk at times I know, but he's not all bad!" Seeing she was not succeeding in the persuasion department Nicki added, "Plus me and Tom are getting tired of being the only couple there, we need couple friends!"

"As much as I'd love to," Jane replied with a sigh, "I really can't. I'm going to the counseling department after work."

Nicki slid off the desk and smoothed out her skirt. "Ugh, sometimes I don't understand you! When you aren't working here you're there, or you're at the training gym. It's like you live here! You love work too much; you need to loosen up, live a little!"

"I already promised Dr. Jacobs I would help out tonight, I can't just bail on him!" Jane replied, unconvinced by Nicki's persuasion.

With a dramatic sigh Nicki said, "Okay fine, but we're throwing a birthday party for Lana this Saturday, you have to promise you'll come!"

"Okay I promise, sounds like a plan." Jane answered, then waved as her friend exited the cubicle.


	9. Chapter 9

"Jane! It's good to see you." A salt and pepper haired man said, walking by, a file in his hand.

"Good evening Dr. Jacobs." Jane answered with a smile as she accepted the files being handed to her by the secretary behind the oak desk.

"Oh and you had a call from Agent Gartman. He said he needed to talk to you about something but you needed to come to his apartment." The secretary handed Jane a sticky note with the message and address written on it and continued, "Poor guy, I think he's too afraid to leave his house again. Have fun with that one."

Jane accepted the note and slid it into her leather shoulder bag. "Thanks Joanna, I'll check on him on my way home." Roy Gartman was one of her regulars, she'd been helping him for the last eight months after he suffered a mental break during a particularly high stress field mission. After a lot of effort she managed to get it out of him that he had unintentionally killed four civilians in an attempt to neutralize an enemy threat. Overwhelmed by guilt Roy had struggled to follow through on later operations and had to be transferred off field ops.

She knew how much that had killed him inside, but she also knew it was for his own good. Being in the field in the state he was in made him a liability and put everyone around him in danger. Still, she felt pity for the guy, watching him continually worsen, to the point where at times, like today, he couldn't even leave the house, paralyzed by the fear that he would hurt someone else.

Jane tried to push Gartman to the back of her mind and forced herself to focus on her current patient who she was currently walking to meet. The hallway was quiet aside from the rhythmic clicking of her heels on the shiny waxed floor. Opening her file she saw her first appointment was with one of the patients from L7, a 16 year old girl who had watched her boyfriend get blown to pieces by a terrorist organization. Jane had only be seeing her for a few weeks, but she was optimistic that with the progress she had already seen, it wouldn't be much longer until the girl would be able to leave S.H.I.E.L.D. in a fully stable mental state, able to return to her life.

"Hello Madison." Jane said cheerfully, stepping into the room where the girl was sitting on an oversized sofa, her legs curled up under her body. "How are things today?" Jane pulled a green armchair across the carpet and positioned it a few feet away from the girl, and took a seat. Most of the other counselors would seat themselves behind the desk that was in each of the appointment rooms, but Jane always felt that doing so forced a huge distance between herself and the person she was trying to connect to. It made her feel disconnected and far too formal. Instead she tried to make things as comfortable and personal as she could.

"Well, to be honest not that great Miss Smith." Madison said softly.

Jane could see her eyes were red from crying. "Please, we've been together nearly a month you can call me Jane." She said with a smile. "Is this because Theo's birthday is next week?"

The girl looked at Jane, confused how she could have guessed correctly so immediately. "How did you know that?"

In reality she had recalled seeing the dates in Theo's file during a previous appointment, but instead of telling Madison this she simply replied, "Just a hunch."

Too emotionally drained to question it, Madison accepted Jane's explanation and continued. "I just don't know how I'm supposed to move on with my life and forget about him. I mean, if it wasn't for me we never would have been down at that pier and he wouldn't have died! How am I supposed to go to birthday memorial and act like everything is okay? How can I look his mother in the eye, knowing it was all my fault?"

Jane could see tears pressing at the girl's eyes, and her heart went out to the girl. "First you have to stop blaming yourself." Jane said, placing her hand on the girl's. "Punishing yourself you didn't do isn't going to make anything better."

"But I did do it!" The girl said, distraught. "I begged him to take me to the pier; he didn't even want to go!"

Jane nodded, keeping her voice calm. "You didn't know what would happen, there was no way you could have. You were just at the wrong place at the right time, you can't beat yourself up for that!" A silent tear rolled down Madison's cheek and she searched for a reply, but no words came out. "I know I say this a lot," Jane added, "but I believe it really is true. It will get better with time. You may not see it right now, in the midst of everything, but eventually things will work themselves out and the pain will fade. Maybe not completely, but enough that it won't be consuming you, permeating every waking moment." Jane tossed the file in her hand onto the coffee table beside her and leaned her elbows on her knees. "Now, about the party. I don't think acting like everything about your life is perfectly put together is the right idea here. No, you see, I think you should aim for being genuine rather than just faking it. Pretending you're not hurting when you very much are isn't going to do you any favors, and it isn't going to do Theo's mom any favors either.

"She's hurting just as much as you are, remember that. Just be honest with her about the struggles you're facing because odds are she's already going through them. You're longing for someone to understand what you're going through, and she's the one who does. Don't push them away because you're afraid they'll see you cry. Holding it in is only going to tear yourself apart, and you know the more you do that, the longer you have to keep coming back to see boring old me." Madison let out a small chuckle and slowly a smile tugged at her lips.

The two talked a bit longer, until Madison finally felt ready to leave, and Jane gave her a big hug before walking the girl out to the secretary desk where a guard from L7 was waiting to escort her back to the compound.

Checking her file once again she looked to see who else she was meeting with the rest of the day. Over the next hour she battled mutant rabbits with a paranoid schizophrenic, discussed various breathing techniques with a very anxious agent, and helped another come to terms with the realization that there were far worse things out there than mere human beings.

Having reached the end of her file for the day Jane returned the papers to the front desk and retrieved her things from the chair in the staff room where she had left them. "See you tomorrow." Jane called to the woman at the front desk as she walked out the doorway, slipping her arms into her coat.

"Goodnight Jane!" The woman replied back. "Get some rest tonight, you look exhausted!" Jane just smiled and waved goodbye, both knowing taking a break was something Jane rarely ever did.

Stepping onto the pavement outside the S.H.I.E.L.D. building Jane felt the coolness of a rain shower that had passed through not long before. The ground was still wet, but a slight sprinkle was all that was left of the rain. Regardless, Jane was glad she had grabbed her umbrella that morning, and opened it above her. She felt her leather bag resting on her hip and she dug inside for the note with Roy's address on it. She knew where he lived, as she had been there before, but she pulled it out anyway and held it tightly in her hand.

The New York subways felt eerily desolate at the late time of day, with only a fourth of the usual hordes roaming about. Taking a seat under the florescent lights of the subway car Jane pulled her bag onto her lap and pulled out her headphones. No matter how many times she used it, she always found the notion of iPods incredibly fascinating. When she had woken up in the hospital the first time, knowledge of modern technology seemed to be lost on her. Not that it was completely foreign or unfamiliar, but rather that it was neither familiar nor unfamiliar. It was just there. Since then she'd found it quite interesting, though at times a bit overwhelming, learning all the things that her scrambled memories had left her a stranger to.

Ten minutes later Jane heard her stop called over the speakers and quickly gathered her belongings, pulling the strap of her bag over her head and resting it on her shoulder. It didn't take long for her to find her way to Roy's building, despite the rain beginning to pick up again.

"Mr. Gartman, you home?" Jane asked after knocking for the third time and still getting no response. "Roy, it's me, Jane. Are you going to let me in?" Jane flashed a friendly smile to a couple leaving their apartment two doors down. "Roy, if you don't answer me I'm going to have to leave." She said after the couple disappeared down the stairs, knocking once more on the door.

When her knocking still returned no response Jane turned to go, disheartened that she had wasted her time coming all the way out there just for him not to be home. She hesitated, a thought pressing at the back of her mind. Slowly she placed her hand on the doorknob and gave it a turn, fully expecting it not to turn. To her surprise it opened with ease and her heart skipped a beat. Something didn't feel right, why would Roy's door be unlocked and he not answer?

"Hello?" Jane asked tentatively, stepping across the threshold. "Are you in here Roy? I got your message I was just coming to check in, see how things were going." Jane latched the door behind her and flicked on the light. She walked into the open living room and headed to the kitchen where she removed her bag and laid it along with her umbrella on the counter.

Jane glanced all around the apartment, wondering where Roy was and why he had left his door unlocked. He may have been dealing with a lot of stuff lately, but he was still a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, and security was always the first thing they ingrained in an agent's mind during training. It was highly unlikely Roy would have forgotten such a simple thing as locking his door when he left. Turning back towards the kitchen a piece of paper caught her eye, taped to the sink. Assuming it was a note from Roy explaining where he was she hurried to the other side of the counter and peeled the tape from the faucet.

"Jane, I'm so sorry." The first words scribbled on the paper made Jane's stomach lurch. "I never meant for this to happen, but I can't keep going on like this. You've done so much for me, and for that I will always be grateful. But I just can't live with myself anymore knowing the people I have hurt. I never wanted this to be my life, and now it won't. Don't mourn for me, nothing I have done is deserving of that, please just—" Jane felt like her heart had stopped beating as she realized what this note was. Without reading the rest of the note she dashed around the counter, adrenaline and dread pumping through her veins.

Frantically she looked around the apartment, her eyes landing on a door to Roy's bedroom. Jane hurried in, her breath caught in her throat. Upon seeing nothing, she continued on to the adjoining bathroom. With shaky fingers she flipped on the light, only for her heart to drop into her stomach. "No, no, no!" She breathed, "Roy don't do this to me!" Prescription bottles lay strewn on the counter and Roy was motionless in a heap on the ground.

"Roy!" Jane screamed, dropping to her knees beside him. Hurriedly she flipped him onto his back and checked for a pulse. Not feeling anything, her mind flashed back to her S.H.I.E.L.D. initiation training and quickly started chest compressions, her own breathing sharp and ragged. "Don't you dare do this to me Roy! Even though she knew CPR was futile she continued on until tears began to cloud her vision forcing her to accept the reality that he was already gone.

Roy's eyes stared up at Jane, immobile like glass, and with a trembling hand she gently closed them. "What have you done Roy? Why, didn't you just tell me it was this bad? I could have helped you!" She whispered with shaky breath, her hands resting on his unmoving chest.

Just then a loud knocking sounded from the front door, startling Jane and causing her to whip her head around to look in the direction of the noise. She hesitated, waiting to hear the noise again. A few seconds later knocks echoed again and a man's voice boomed from outside. "Roy! Let us in!"

Heart racing, Jane stood and hurriedly dried her eyes in the bathroom mirror then headed for the door. Cautiously, she peered through the peephole to see two men in suits, one with a S.H.I.E.L.D. badge visible. With a sigh of relief she pulled open the door. "Oh thank God it's you, I came to check on Roy and found him like this; I don't know what to do!"

The men looked at each other, neither knowing to what she was referring. Hurriedly they barged in, past her and followed her directions to the bathroom where they found Roy laying on the tile. Upon finding him, one man ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled slowly. Jane stood a few feet back from them, in the doorway connecting the living room and bedroom, and couldn't make out what the two men were talking to each other about in hushed tones. "I don't know, should I call the police or something?" She said after a moment.

The men immediately stopped talking and turned to look at her, as though they had almost forgotten she was there. "You're that counselor woman he was seeing aren't you?" One asked, stepping closer to her.

"Um, yeah I guess, is that important?" She said, giving a nervous laugh. The man stepped closer and Jane instinctively backed away from him into the living room.

"He probably told you a lot of things, didn't he? Things about his job?" The man said, squinting and following her into the room, the other man staying behind to inspect Roy's body.

The man's tone of voice was making Jane uneasy, something didn't seem quite right about the two of them. Suddenly she was feeling like letting them inside was a mistake. "W-well yeah I suppose." She stuttered. "It was the only way for him to work through things. I don't see how that would affect you though."

The man continued walking towards her until she was backed up against a fireplace with nowhere else to go. "It does affect me though, you see, Roy and I worked very closely together and information he gave you could very well be about me. Information that if blabbed around town could cause a lot of issues for me and my buddies. Do you see why that's a problem?" Jane stood, eyes wide, unsure if she should feel threatened, or if this guy just had an abnormally abrasive personality.

"You know I almost feel bad about doing this, but in the end I have to." He said with a smile.

"Have to do w-what?" Jane asked, her instincts definitely telling her something was very wrong.

The man calmly reached to the back of his waist band and pulled out a gun, pointing it at Jane. "Why I have to kill you of course."

She'd had a feeling that was what he was going to say, but seeing the gun still made her blood run cold and her breath feel trapped in her throat. The man inched closer and Jane searched the wall with her hands for anything she could use as a defense.

"Don't bother trying to run, and screaming won't help you either." The man laughed and pulled the gun up, ready to fire.

Jane's hand brushed up against something cold and metal, and she recognized it as a fire poker. She knew that if she thought about what she knew she had to do next, she would never follow through, so in a split second decision she sprang into action, swinging the metal object with as much force as she could muster, directly at her assailant. Vibrations echoed through her arm as the object made contact with the man's head.

She could hear him cursing at her, but his voice was soon drowned out by the deafening sound of the gun going off, far too close to Jane's ears for her liking. Fueled by adrenaline she took advantage of his moment of surprise and focused all her energy in to simply bashing him in the head as many times as she possibly could. Even though it wasn't required for her position, she had started taking some of the S.H.I.E.L.D. combat training courses, just as a hobby. But nothing in her training had quite prepared her for this.

She felt him land a hard blow on the side of her head with the handle of his gun and she reeled from the impact. She could feel blood trickling down her temple but she ignored it, focusing on the more pressing issue at hand. Using a maneuver she had learned a week prior, she skillfully twisted the man's arm around and kicked his elbow, forcing him to release his grip on the gun. With the man grunting in pain she kicked the gun away where he could no longer reach it. After that, everything she did was pure adrenaline fueled instincts. Kicking, clawing, and swinging her makeshift weapon she worked at inflicting as much damage as she could.

She soon came to find herself, much to her own surprise, standing over the man's unconscious body, the fire poker gripped so tightly in her fist that her knuckles were white. Everything within her wanted to panic, but she was quickly reminded of the second man in the bathroom who was now entering the living room.

Jane looked up and the two made eye contact, both wondering who was going to make the first move. "What in the—" The man exclaimed, upon seeing his partner sprawled across the floor unmoving.

Her breath caught in her throat, unsure of what the man's next move would be. She expected him to pull out a gun, just as the other man had done earlier. When a few seconds had passed and the man remained standing in the doorway, Jane followed the man's gaze to where the unconscious man's hand gun lay on the carpet, three feet away from Jane. She wondered why he was just standing there, not making a move to attack her, until finally the realization struck her. He didn't have a gun and he knew if she got ahold of the one on the floor, she would have the advantage.

Disbelief at her stroke of luck washed over her, and she had to restrain herself from letting out an audible laugh. Quickly she lunged for the pistol, grabbing it with her left hand while keeping the fire poker tightly gripped in her right. With the shaky gun pointed at his head, the man had no choice but to slowly lift his hands. "Look, you really don't want to do this." He said, his voice oddly calm.

"Yeah?" Jane replied, trying to sound convincing. "And why is that exactly? Because your partner just tried to kill me? That seems like a pretty good reason to me."

The man's mouth contorted into a smile and he said with a chuckle. "We both know you won't pull that trigger. No, you're much too afraid for that. How about you just hand it to me, and we can go our separate ways huh?"

The way the man laughed infuriated Jane, and she hated how condescending he sounded. "Oh, you think so? You sound so sure about that."

The man grinned, "You and I both know you're too weak to actually go through with it, you couldn't kill me. You're just—"

Before the man could finish his sentence Jane angled her gun a few inches and pulled the trigger, causing a bullet to fly through the air, landing in the man's thigh. In an instant he was kneeling on the carpet, clutching his injured leg.

"Still think I won't do it?" Jane said smugly. The man just swallowed, looking up at her, his teeth gritted.

Jane was relieved knowing the man was essentially immobilized, but panic soon returned when she realized she now had to figure out what to do with him. She considered calling the police and waiting until they got there, but she realized that at some point she would have to explain why the men were here, why she was here, for that matter, and in doing so, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s name would definitely come up and she knew the trouble that would cause would not be worth it. Calling in to S.H.I.E.L.D. itself was another option but she quickly eliminated that possibility, seeing as these two men were S.H.I.E.L.D themselves and she was not keen on the idea of more of their buddies showing up. With all things considered she knew there was only one viable option. She had to leave them here and get away without a trace.

Just the thought of killing either of them, though they probably deserved it, made Jane sick to her stomach. The man had been right earlier, there was no way she could actually kill him. She didn't know if she had already killed the man lying on the floor, but she decided she really didn't want to know. Knowing she couldn't leave the injured man unattended when she left she quickly began searching for a way to incapacitate him long enough for her to get away. Even if she couldn't kill him she knew she had to do something.

Eyes darting around the room she looked for any sort of wires, cords, or ropes that she could use to tie him up, but the longest thing she could find was a plug on a lamp that was two feet long. Not long enough to do anything useful. Desperately she tried to calm the panic rising within her. She knew that with the gun shots that had already been fired, the police would have been alerted and would soon be there.

Her mind struggled to think coherently, with the blow to the head and the pressure of the situation making it nearly impossible to concentrate. Suddenly, amidst the chaos in her mind a solution occurred to her. Hurriedly she moved towards the man, clinging to his oozing wound, keeping the barrel of her gun aimed at him. She stepped over him through the doorway and walked backwards towards the bathroom. The man slowly reached towards his pocket to grab his cellphone. "If you move an inch, the next bullet is going between your eyes."

The man grunted, unhappy to be taking orders from her, but knowing he had no other options. Begrudgingly he let the phone fall back into his pocket and removed his hand.

Keeping an eye on the man she reached behind her to the bathroom counter where she could feel pill bottles lined up. The image of Roy limp on the floor kept pushing at her mind but she pushed it away and grabbed several of the pill canisters. Quickly she scanned the labels. Anxiety meds, anti-depressants, she recognized many of them as the ones she'd had Dr. Jacobs prescribe. After a moment she found the combination she was looking for and tossed the others back on the counter.

Jane retraced her steps so she was back in the living room and opened the canisters and letting the tablets spill out onto the kitchen counter. Even though she wasn't allowed to prescribe medication to her patients, Dr. Jacobs had taught her enough about the different kinds that she knew with the right combination and dosage she could knock him out without killing him. Quickly she picked out a small yellow pill, two white ones, and a clear capsule.

Making her face as commanding and authoritative as she could, she held the assortment of pills out for the man to take them. "Swallow these." The man stared at her silently, not moving. "Now!" She yelled angrily. Sternly, the man accepted them into his own hand, but made no movement to put them in his mouth.

"What, I don't even get a glass of water?" He asked sarcastically.

"Look, I can just as easily shoot your other leg!" She added impatiently when she saw the man was not going to cooperate. She moved, to place her gun against his leg point blank but the man finally gave in and dumped the pile of pills into his mouth and swallowed.

He lifted his hands to show they were empty and then opened his mouth to prove he had swallowed them all. Jane lowered her gun slightly, knowing it was only a matter of time before the quick release tablets began to interact with the others. She would only have to wait a minute or two until he was knocked out to be sure he didn't make himself throw the pills back up, and then she could leave. She just hoped it would work fast enough for her to get away before the cops showed up. The man started coughing and she knew the drugs were starting to take effect.

His coughing increased, then tapered off as he struggled for his breaths, his eyelids growing heavier by the second. "You won't escape this." The man mumbled through ragged breaths. "They will find you. HYDRA will always find you."

Jane's stomach lurched at the name HYDRA. She had come across it in her file work in the past and she knew what HYDRA was, but she didn't understand why he was bringing it up. This man was slipping into medication induced unconsciousness in a dead man's apartment and he was bringing up a Nazi terrorist organization from over half a century past. In confusion, she looked to ask him what he meant, but he was already out cold.

Her thoughts reeling she quickly realized that above everything else, regardless of what he meant by his statement, she had to get out of there, and fast. She considered leaving the gun in one of their hands, to make it look like the three men had been the only ones involved, but the thought of encountering more people like these two men caused her to instead shove it into the pocket of her coat. After checking one last time to be sure he was really knocked out, Jane rushed towards the door. The handle in her grasp she closed her eyes with a sigh. Hurriedly she ran back into the kitchen to grab her bag, but left the umbrella.

When she reached the streets she breathed a huge sigh of relief, and began walking as quickly as she dared without looking conspicuous. Sirens sounded in the distance and she flipped up her collar, trying to hide her face each time another cop car flew by. Catching a glimpse of her reflection in a laundromat window she remembered the wound on her forehead and she quickly pulled her sleeve to her head to wipe off the blood that had dried on her skin and matted into her hairline. Feeling she was far enough away from Roy's apartment building for the time being she stepped into the nearly desolate laundromat and took a seat on one of the bench seats behind a wall of dryers.

Finally having a chance to just sit and be calm, the impact of the last half hour washed over her. Roy was dead, she had drugged a fellow S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, and possibly killed another. She struggled to process this realization and despite her attempts to keep them in, tears spilled down her cheeks. Slowly she pushed her hand into her pocket, to feel the smooth metal of the gun, confirming to her that it had all been real and this wasn't a dream. She took a deep breath trying to compose herself. Just as she was about to pull her hand back out she felt paper brushing against her knuckles and pulled out the object.

It was Roy's suicide note and she grimaced, knowing the contents. She smoothed the wrinkled page on her leg and blinked away the tears clouding her vision. "Jane I'm so sorry." The first line stared up at her. She read through the letter again, until arriving at the point where she had left off before. Suddenly the entire tone of the letter changed, and no longer was Roy explaining his desire to no longer go on living, and the lines were all scrunched together as though he began writing the last lines very quickly and fervently. "We thought they were gone but they never were. They 've been here all along." She struggled to make out in the scribbled handwriting.

Jane wiped her eyes and looked more intently. "HYDRA has been inside S.H.I.E.L.D. all along. They forced me to join them but I can't do this anymore, it's not who I am." The words scrawled in black ink stabbed Jane like a knife. For a moment she thought her heart had stopped beating all together. The words kept resounding in her head and she refused to believe what she was reading. Anxiously she read on. "It's too late for me, I know that already, but I hope that at least my death can help expose them, if only in part."

Jane shook her head in disbelief. The man in the apartment had mentioned HYDRA just moments before going unconscious and now it was written in Roy's letter, she knew there was no way it could be a coincidence but she didn't think the alternative could be possible. HYDRA, back? Everything she knew about the organization ended with the indisputable fact that it was disbanded by the SSR after WW2.

"If you're reading this it means I am dead, but it also means HYDRA has already begun executing their rise to power. I've listed all the names I know of people who are part of HYDRA on the back, but believe me when I say there are countless others. S.H.I.E.L.D. is entirely infiltrated, you can trust no one. Just get out Jane, get out." The letter ended there, and Jane sat shocked, and dumbfounded at the revelations of the letter. Her hands still shaking, she flipped over the paper and scanned through the list of twenty or so names. "Jasper Sitwell, Marion Burke, Joseph Wilmington, the list continued on, but so far she hadn't recognized any names. Then her stomach lurched as she read the name 'Thomas Bishop' scribbled on the page.

"Nicki." She muttered breathlessly. Tom was Nicki's boyfriend and Jane knew her friend was with him. Scenarios began rushing through her head of Tom attacking Nicki the way the two men had attacked herself.

"Hey Jane! What's up, did you change your mind; are you going to come join us?" Nicki said enthusiastically into her phone.

Jane could hear people laughing in the background, and she knew Nicki was at O'Reilly's, probably thoroughly inebriated by now. "Nicki, I need you to listen carefully, where is Tom right now at this moment?" She said seriously, her heart beating hard in her chest.

Nicki glanced across the room to where her boyfriend was sitting at a table with their other friends. "Umm, he's enjoying himself with the group. I can't say as much for you, when are you getting here?"

By her tone of voice, Jane could tell she was not in a sober state of mind. "Nicki, listen to me! Tom is very dangerous you need to get out of there right now!"

Nicki simply giggled in reply. "Oh Jane, I know you have a crush on Tom, but you're not going to fool me into leaving him that easily."

Jane closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Nicki, I do not have a crush on Tom." She said defiantly. "But I'm serious, you need to get out of there."

Tom glanced over at Nicki, who was jabbering into her phone by the bar, and she gave him a flirtatious wink. "Oh come on don't deny it, you know it's true!"

"Nicki!" Jane said loudly, snapping her friend out of her lighthearted mood. "I am not kidding about this! Something really bad has happened at S.H.I.E.L.D., turn on the news if you don't believe me." Jane was watching the screen in the laundromat where the only two other customers in the laundromat had gathered to watch the unfolding scenes of S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarriers being shot to pieces and falling into the Potomac.

Pulled out of her inebriated stupor by her friend's directness and harsh tones, Nicki grabbed the attention of the bartender and asked him to change the channel of the overhead televisions. Nicki's mouth gaped as she watched the broadcast. Slowly, the screens caught the attention of the other patrons until the majority of the place was watching in hushed tones and disbelief.

When Tom caught sight of what Nicki's eyes were glued to, he calmly, but quickly moved across the room and grabbed her by the arm. "I think it's time for us to go." He said to her, quietly but sternly.

"Wha-what?" She stammered.

"Nicki, don't go with him, remember what I said!" Jane said into the phone as loudly as she could without the other customers at the laundromat hearing her. "Nicki, Tom is HYDRA!" She continued, but Nicki couldn't hear her friend anymore.

"We're going now." Jane could faintly hear Tom saying in the background. There was a click on the other side of the line, and then silence.

* * *

 **Hello everyone, thanks you all for reading! I really loved writing this chapter and I couldn't help myself, I had to post it early! As you probably noticed, the chapters have now started getting longer, and they for the most part will remain that way. This chapter is also where the story really starts picking up and i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear your reviews of it so far! Let me know what you think!**


	10. Chapter 10

Cool beads of condensation rolled off the glass onto Jane's fingers as she let it clank onto the wooden counter in front of her. A soccer match was playing on the old television in the corner and she pretended to be interested in it. She was sitting at the bar with her glass of whiskey like she had done most nights the past few months, alone. She heard the bell on the door jingle, announcing a new customer arriving but she paid no mind.

Some day she would get a better routine, she told herself. But today wasn't the day, and she knew tomorrow wouldn't be either. With a sigh shook the glass, making the ice cubes fall back down into the amber liquid.

Silently, a man pulled out the stool beside her and took a seat at the bar. Jane casually glanced up to see the man's face, her head resting in her hand. Upon seeing who it was, she closed her eyes and let out a long sigh.

"Seriously, you've got to be kidding me." She said simply. "Thought you were supposed to be dead." She added, sitting up in her chair.

He let out a small laugh, "Yeah, it wasn't really working out for me. Thought I'd give it another go." After a moment he added, "You don't seem to be too surprised."

Jane tucked her hair behind her ears and said, "Well I'm starting to get used to things not being the way I thought they were." Memories of the HYDRA uprising flashed through her mind and she took a large drink.

"Whiskey, strong choice." He said, noting the glass in her hand. "I didn't peg you as the drinking type."

Jane grimaced, swallowing the harsh liquid. "I'm not. This is terrible." With a small cough she placed the glass back on the counter and slid it away a few inches. He chuckled softly and a grin tugged at her lips. "So," She continued, "what has 'Agent Coulson' been up to besides being 'not dead'? Saving the world, diffusing bombs, getting all the ladies."

Coulson just laughed and said, "Sure, we can go with that. Though it's Director Coulson now."

"Oh really?" Jane said with a smile. "I didn't realize I was in the presence of royalty, you really must excuse my manners."

"Well the job isn't as glamorous as all that. With half of what used to be S.H.I.E.L.D. scattered around the globe in hiding, and the other half being HYDRA, trying to kill us, it's not as much fun as one would expect." Coulson said.

"Who's 'us'?" Jane questioned. "You managed to scrounge a team after S.H.I.E.L.D. fell?"

"In a matter of speaking. Some were with us before the whole HYDRA ordeal, lost a few in the process, but picked up a few others along the way." After a bit he added, "We may be small, but we're growing."

Jane shrugged, considering his words. Without commenting she took another swig of her drink, finishing the glass. "That's why you're here, isn't it." She said quietly, the realization hitting her.

"I'm not going to lie and say it wouldn't be nice to have another ally on our side." Coulson replied, folding his hands on the counter in front of him.

"Coulson, I—" Jane began.

Before she could finish he interrupted, "I understand more than anyone that your experience with S.H.I.E.L.D. has been a rocky one, but you're also one of the few people who I can have confidence in knowing is not loyal to HYDRA."

"No, you don't understand." She quickly replied, her voice growing increasingly tense. "You don't know what it was like when S.H.I.E.L.D. collapsed and I had nowhere to go, no one to tell me what I was supposed to do." She paused to keep her voice calm. "You had the connections, the resources, you could struggle through it and make it to the other side. When I lost S.H.I.E.L.D. I lost everything. I didn't have a family to go back to, S.H.I.E.L.D. was my life. I couldn't call up any of my friends for the fear of them trying to kill me; I couldn't go back to my apartment, and my job was entirely nonexistent."

"You seem to have survived alright until now." He said, not knowing what else to say.

"I suppose, if working at a sub shop in Queens and spending every night in this dive listening to terrible karaoke counts as surviving." She commented.

"So why not do more?" Coulson asked. "You want back in the game, this is how you do it."

"I never said I wanted back in the game." Jane replied. "S.H.I.E.L.D. may have helped me in the past, but lately it's caused me nothing but trouble."

"You're mad, I get that; we all are. But HYDRA is the one who did this and the only way to get back at them is to take them down ourselves." Coulson said. Knowing he wasn't going to convince her without giving her something of interest to intrigue her, he continued, laying a file in front of him. "We've recently acquired a new asset, and your skills would be of tremendous use to the team."

Jane looked at him, her eyebrow raised. "What, because finding a research analyst is so difficult? There are hundreds of people out there more willing to do your paperwork than me."

"Those aren't the skills to which I was referring." Coulson said plainly. "I'm talking about the work you were doing with Jacobs." Jane looked at him, confused, unsure of where he was going with it. "You have an impressive track record with mentally unstable patients, and every peer evaluation you've had has shown high marks."

"I'm sorry," Jane said, her forehead wrinkling, "are you saying you want me to be your team therapist?"

Coulson shrugged his shoulders slightly as though to say, "Why not?"

Jane let out a nervous laugh, wondering if Coulson was being serious. "Coulson, I'm not even certified, do you know how preposterous that idea is!"

"I've seen what you can do. Even in L7 you couldn't help but to be drawn to those who needed to be fixed. It was instinctive, it wasn't something you were going out of your way to do; it was just natural. Credentials or not, you're the best I've ever seen." Coulson said. "And right now, you're exactly what we need." Coulson slid his hand into the file, opening it up.

"I don't know though." Jane interjected. "I mean I've never took on a project like this, I don't know that I can handle an entire team as patients!"

"Well then it's a good thing you'll only be working with one." He said, sliding the open file in front of Jane. "His name is James Barnes, often goes by Bucky, and he's the best lead we've got on flushing out the rest of HYDRA's bases."

Jane glanced over the personnel sheet, taking in the information. "Hang on, it says here, he was also known as the 'Winter Soldier'. Coulson I've read the reports, I know who this is. How is he even alive? And furthermore, if what you're saying is true, that this ghost story is actually true. Why on earth are you working with a HYDRA operative?"

"Ex-HYDRA." Coulson stated. "After their encounter at the Triskelion, Steve Rogers went on a mission to find his friend."

Jane looked up from the file she was flipping through to look Coulson in the eyes. "As in, Star-Spangled-Captain-America Steve Rogers?" She asked in disbelief. "I'm not sure my clearance is high enough for this." She said trailing off.

Coulson continued, ignoring her comment. "He still hasn't given us an explanation of how he found him, but since then Steve's been working on rehabilitating him into normal life, apart from HYDRA."

Jane took a deep breath. "That sounds great Coulson, but why do you need me? It sounds like Mr. American-hero has things pretty well in hand. I mean, if they were best friends back in the day, then he probably knows Bucky better than anyone."

"Barnes possesses priceless intel on the inner workings of HYDRA, but because of the extensive work they've done on his mind, extracting that intel has thus far been largely unsuccessful. Like you, we figured having his friend at his side would be the most beneficial situation, Rogers even believed it himself." Coulson said. "But as time progressed it became evident that the relationship they once had was making the process more difficult rather than easier. Rogers was trying to get back the Bucky he knew before, but I'm sure that Bucky even exists anymore. So far, Bucky has only regained portions of his pre-HYDRA memories, and while he desperately wants to return to that state of mind, the memories from the time he was under HYDRA's control make doing so increasingly difficult."

"So the thing he needs to heal is also ambushing his mind." Jane said, understanding what Coulson was getting at.

"Exactly." He replied. "I'd like to have Barnes with us so we can get the HYDRA information we need as quickly and efficiently as possible, but in order to do so, someone's got to be there to keep an eye on him. Rogers is going to be tied up on a separate assignment, and we've already covered why he isn't the best candidate for the job anyway. That would be where you come in." Jane bit her lip, flipping through the file, and thinking about Coulson's proposition.

"We'll meet at the Washington Square fountain tomorrow at 8." He said simply, rising from his chair.

"And what if you end up deciding you don't want me on this?" Jane asked.

Coulson grinned, "Oh it isn't me you've got to impress; it's him." He said pointing to the picture of Steve in Bucky's file.

Jane opened her mouth to say something, but when she looked up, Coulson was already out the door. "I never said I agreed to do it." She mumbled to herself, seeing that he was already gone.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hey everyone! I hope you've enjoyed it so far, I'd love to hear your reviews! I'm really excited because its finally getting to the interesting parts! I'm also getting closer to finishing writing the story (there's about 35 chapters total..give or take..) so soon I'll probably start updating more frequently. So, that being said, when the time comes, would you rather I post chapters two at a time and still once a week, or just do two or three spread throughout the week?**_

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Jane glanced at her watch, reading 7:53 A.M. A light fog rested in the air and already the park was beginning to buzz with activity for the day. Leaning against the building across the street from the large stone fountain, she debated in her head whether or not she wanted to commit to this. On one hand it would definitely be a step up from the day to day life she was currently enduring, but on the other hand she was not entirely sure she wanted to get tangled up with S.H.I.E.L.D. again. Though despite the continuous back and forth of argument in her mind, one fact remained that she could not ignore, and that was the fact that there was someone struggling, and in pain, and she was quite possibly the only one who had a chance at helping him.

Knowing she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't go, she finally pushed the debate from her mind and committed herself. Just as she was preparing to cross the street, a man in a baseball cap, jeans, and dark jacket grabbed Jane's arm and pulled her in the direction he was going. "This way." He said simply.

Jane was taken by surprise and stumbled along with the man's quick gait. She couldn't quite make out his face, but his grip was secure and she knew she couldn't simply get away. Knowing she couldn't fight him off she did her best to resist being dragged away. She opened her mouth to protest, but before she could speak she was being ushered into the back of a black SUV. Clumsily she climbed into the vehicle, where upon seeing Coulson sitting calmly in the front passenger seat, she let out an exasperated sigh.

"You know it's usually common courtesy to warn a person of your arrival rather than always trying to scare the ever-loving daylights out of them." She said disgruntled, and she smoothed her hair that had become disheveled in the ordeal.

The man who had led her to the car was now climbing into the other side, and pulled the door shut behind him. When he pulled off his baseball cap she could see that it was none other than Steve Rogers.

"And you," She continued, directing her words to her seat mate, "Contrary to public opinion you're actually quite intimidating and frankly a bit terrifying in person." Steve just laughed and clicked his seatbelt on.

"I can see you're already making quick friends with Rogers." Coulson said. "Jane, Agent Melinda May. May, Jane." He continued, motioning to the woman behind the wheel who simply nodded in silent acknowledgement.

"When Coulson said you might take some convincing, I wondered if you would actually show up. I guess he was right to be so confident." Steve said a few minutes after the vehicle rolled into motion.

Knowing that Coulson had talked to Steve about her, made Jane feel slightly ill at ease, and she wondered what all he had said, and how many other people knew she was coming. "Well considering how utterly thrilling it was to meet Iron Man, when Coulson offered me an opportunity to meet Captain America, well, how could I resist!" Jane replied sardonically with a grin.

"Oh, so you've met Stark, have you?" Steve said, intrigued.

Jane let out a sigh, "And would you believe it, he didn't even try to kidnap me off the street."

"Man, you really aren't going to let that one go, are you?" Steve replied, shaking his head.

"Oh come on, I can't be the only one who thought it was a bit absurd." She answered back. In the front seat, May and Coulson looked at each other and pursed their lips, trying to hold back smiles. Next to her, Steve couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"What!" Jane exclaimed. "Don't laugh at me, it wasn't funny! You're like 200 pounds of pure muscle; that would be intimidating to anyone!"

"Ah! A stranger! What do I do!?" Steve said in a high pitched voice, pretending to look terrified; his eyes wide. "I guess I better just freeze and hope for the best!" He added, and then dramatically froze in a ridiculous looking silent scream.

"Shut up, I didn't look like that!" Jane said, trying to remain serious, but failing. "Coulson, you saw it. Tell him I wasn't that bad!" Jane expected some support from her fellow passengers, but Steve's performance had gotten a chuckle out of Coulson, and even May couldn't help but grin. Jane just rolled her eyes in denial, making a face at Steve.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't make fun of you." Steve said, more serious but still smiling. "I promise, next time I won't be so 'breathtakingly horrifying'. Though I may have to settle for mildly shocking."

The group conversed for a while as May skillfully navigated out of Manhattan quicker than Jane had ever thought was possible, until eventually the topic of Bucky came up. "He's gone through a lot." Steve said, his face somber. "He's had to deal with a lot more than anyone should ever have to." Jane nodded and looked at her lap. She knew seeing his friend suffer constantly had to have been extraordinarily difficult for Steve.

"The last thing he needs is someone making it worse." Steve said, seriously.

"Of course not, I don't think anyone wants that." Jane replied.

"I want you to understand what I'm saying." He said insistently. Jane looked up at him, waiting for him to continue. "I don't want you pushing him, forcing him to remember things before he is ready."

Jane could see where Steve was coming from, as Bucky's friend, but she wasn't sure that she completely agreed with his methods. Still, there was Coulson's voice in her head from the night before, reminding her that Steve had to give the stamp of approval or the job was no longer hers. Carefully she restrained herself, letting him explain further.

"The entire time he was in HYDRA he was being pushed and pulled in different directions, being forced to do what they wanted. I won't allow that to continue to happen to him." Jane wondered if he was somehow kidding, or if he really was being this dogmatic about it. Still, when she looked carefully at his face she could only see that he was being serious. "I know you're here to get the information Bucky knows, but you're also here to help Bucky and that includes keeping his mental state stress free. I can't have you pressuring him or putting extra strain on him. I can't have you endlessly digging for information at the expense of his mental health."

Jane was becoming more uneasy with Steve's extreme stance, but she continued to force herself to keep her mouth shut. She wondered why he seemed to think she knew nothing about what she was doing, or that she cared only about the S.H.I.E.L.D. directives and not about the human being. She also didn't understand why he thought his method of everything being 'zen' and stress free was the only way to success. If that was how he had handled Bucky up until now, she didn't have any difficulty figuring out why they hadn't made any progress.

"I need to know that you aren't going to push him; that you're going to let him work through things at his own pace. Can you promise me that? Because if not, I don't know if this is going to work out." Steve asked.

Jane was shocked by Steve's cut-and-dry ultimatum and looked to Coulson, expecting him to say something about the ridiculous expectations he had set. When she saw that Coulson had no intentions of joining in the conversation, she quickly weighed her options. On one hand, if she told Steve she couldn't accept on those terms, then he had basically guaranteed she would be denied the job. Even though she had been undecided on the whole thing that morning, now that she had committed herself to it, the thought of giving up and going back to her old life seemed painfully unpleasant. Still, on the other hand, could she really agree to this knowing that she had treat Bucky like she was his servant, just letting him figure things out for himself? No, she knew she couldn't do that. That would mean giving up everything she knew about helping people, counseling, and psychology. She wouldn't even be doing anything, she'd just be observing and she knew she would never be able to do that.

"Look, I get that you want what's best for your friend and you don't want to see him put under stress." Jane spoke up, her mouth acting almost of its own accord. "But if I'm going to help Bucky, I have to have the freedom to do it my own way." She watched Steve's face anxiously, anticipating his inevitable reaction. "If you want me to help him you have to let me determine what the best course of action for him is, and then let me act on it. If I think taking it slow is what's best for Bucky, then yeah, I will do it. But I'm not going to baby him just for the sake of doing so."

"Human beings are capable of a lot more than we often times think, and honestly, I think you should trust your friend a bit more. Simply based on what I've read and heard about him, he's got an incredibly strong will and is worthy of more credit than you've given him." Jane finished, every word heartfelt. She had probably thoroughly pissed Steve off, but in that moment she didn't care; it just felt good to speak her mind regardless of how someone else was going to take it.

For several moments the silence was deafening, and Jane wondered what was going on in Coulson and May's heads. The first to break the silence was Steve. "Good." He said simply. Jane looked up expecting to see furrowed eyebrows and disdain, but instead she was met with a smile stretching across his face.

Confused, she asked, "I'm sorry, what?"

"I was hoping you would say that." He replied. "Now I can have peace of mind leaving Bucky with you. I you had reacted any other way I would have been worried."

Taken aback by his response she replied, puzzled. "Wait, so you're saying that was all just a…test?"

Steve chuckled at her disbelief and confusion. "Relax, you passed. I just needed to know that you were the kind of person who would stick by her convictions rather than being swayed by the demands of other people. Which, you've clearly shown, since you were more willing to give up the chance at a job than to compromise on your convictions. You know where you stand, and I like that." With a smirk he added, "Something you'll probably find helpful, as Bucky has a knack for being a bit overly persuasive if you're not careful."

Once she processed what had happened and the realization hit that she was still getting the job, a flood of relief washed over her. She was a bit indignant that Steve had played her in such a way, but ultimately she knew that if she had been in his place she would have done the exact same thing.

They were now driving on a narrow road lined with trees, in a place Jane had never been. When May turned the car onto a dirt road, she began to wonder where in the world they were going. It wasn't long before they approached a large clearing, and May continued to drive directly towards the middle of it.

"Question," Jane finally piped up from the back seat. "Where exactly are we headed?"

May calmly pressed a series of buttons on the car stereo, and in an instant an airplane was revealed in front of them. "That would be where we are headed." Coulson answered nonchalantly. Meanwhile Jane craned her neck to see out the front window in disbelief. Once they were within a few hundred feet of the aircraft May pressed another series of buttons and the large cargo bay door lowered, allowing them to easily drive on board, parking next to the red '62 Corvette that caught Jane's eye.

May clicked off the ignition, and the four exited the vehicle. "You didn't touch Lola while I was out, did you Mack?" Coulson said to the man working on a piece of machinery at the back of the garage. Looking up to see Coulson, Mack cleaned his hands on a towel and set the piece of machine aside. "Of course not sir, I wouldn't dream of touching your girl."

Jane and Steve shot each other questioning glances. Jane shook her head and Steve shrugged, neither knowing to whom the two men were referring. "Lola's the car." May said to the two of them, upon seeing their confusion. Jane and Steve's expressions simultaneously changed upon hearing May's explanation. Both looked at each other again, trying not to smile as they both knew they had been thinking something completely different. In his head, Steve decidedly resolved he had spent far too much time hanging around Stark.

"Jane," Coulson said, ushering her to his side, "This is Mack, he keeps us up and running."

"Like a well-oiled machine." Mack added, with a smile. He finished wiping the grease off his hands with the towel and extended his arm for a handshake; which Jane accepted, smiling politely.

"It's nice to meet you." Jane said, not really sure what else to say. She had never been the greatest at first impressions and meeting new people so she aimed to keep things as simple as possible.

"The pleasure is mine." Mack replied. "If you ever find yourself needing a mechanic's helping hand, I'm your guy."

Jane nodding in agreement, and was encouraged by his kind and welcoming demeanor. She wasn't sure exactly how many people she was about to be introduced to or how they would react to having another member joining the team, but Mack's friendliness seemed like a promising beginning.

"Has Fitz made any progress on the neogenic resistor yet? I'd like to have Steve take a look at it." Coulson asked Mack, diverting his attention back away from Jane who promptly placed her hands in her pockets.

"I'm not sure about that." Mack replied after thinking a moment. "I'm fairly sure I saw him working on it earlier though." Tossing the towel onto his workbench he added, "I can take you to see him now if you want."

"Good. We'll go see what Fitz is up to; May, take Jane up and introduce her to the rest of the team. The sooner she can get settled in the better." Coulson said.

May nodded and directed Jane through a set of doors and up a flight of stairs. May led the way through the many corridors, informing Jane of the various rooms along the way. Jane tried to focus on what May was saying, but she couldn't help but get distracted by the immenseness of the plane.

"So you fly this thing?" Jane asked, trying to make small talk.

"Yep." May replied simply. Jane waited for her to expound, but soon realized that was in fact going to be her entire response. "These will be your personal living quarters while we're in the air." She said, approaching a room and opening the door to let Jane see inside. Jane peered through the doorway to see that, while not a large room, it seemed cozy and decent. It wasn't anything compared to what she'd had at L7, but it was still a step up from her current apartment.

May closed the door and they continued down the hallway lined with similar doors that Jane assumed were the other team members' rooms. Eventually they entered a room that Jane ascertained to be a lounge of sorts.

"Ah, Hunter, there you are." May said to the young man reclining on the sofa, his head flopped back and eyes closed. In his hands a partially empty beer bottle rested. "I see you're working hard as ever."

Upon hearing May enter, Hunter slowly blinked open his eyes, lifting his head a few inches. "Hello May, a pleasure as always." After taking a drink he let his head fall back onto the couch again.

May disregarded Hunter's comment, thoroughly used to his 'special charm' by now. "I have someone for you to meet." She continued. "If you could be bothered to sacrifice a few moments of your precious time, that is." Hunter's eyes flicked open again, his head turning to the door with intrigue as Jane stepped through the threshold after May. "This is Jane, Coulson's bringing her on board with the team."

"Right, right," Hunter said, sitting up and pulling his feet off the coffee table. "You're the shrink or whatever, yeah?" May moved to the computer on the other side of the room, leaving Jane and Hunter to talk.

"Well I don't know that I really have an official title, but sure." Jane said, taking a seat on the arm of one of the other sofas.

"Figured you be showing up soon." He replied. "Just a word of advice though, don't even bother trying to crack this coconut." He continued, pointing to his head. "You don't even want to know what's locked away in there. Someone tried it once, it didn't end too well."

Jane just smiled. "Deal." Hunter seemed like the type of guy who liked getting into trouble, but he also seemed to have a good sense of humor, and Jane liked that. Lowering her voice she continued. "So, is May always like this, or is it something about me?"

"Like what?" Hunter asked, taking a drink.

"You know," Jane said, trying to make sure May couldn't hear her across the room. "All serious and down to business. I've only heard her say even a handful of words, and when I try to make small-talk all I get are a few words in response."

"Oh, that's what you mean." Hunter said with a chuckle. "Yeah, May isn't real big on the whole talking thing—or smiling." Then, raising his voice to deliberately make sure May could hear him he added, "But deep down we all know May is a cuddly teddy bear who wants to make everybody fell warm and fuzzy inside. The tough exterior of vague disinterest and hardened determination fool nobody." The only response he received from May was an annoyed glare.

Lowering his voice back to normal, he turned to face Jane again. "In all seriousness though, don't worry about it. It's nothing personal, it's just how she is."

Jane nodded, feeling relieved. She watched as Hunter lifted the bottle to his lips once again and took a drink. "You do realize it's like, not even nine in the morning right?" She said, her eyebrow arched.

Hunter let out a satisfied sigh and looked at the bottle in his hand. "Meh, still good to me. Besides, when your sleep schedule is as utterly screwed up as mine, it doesn't really make much of a difference either way."

Jane just shook her head, smiling. She could tell he was going to be quite the interesting character. "You guys are pretty busy then?

"You must not have ever been a field agent working for S.H.I.E.L.D." He said. "I've been in this game a while, but none of my jobs were ever as exhausting as this one. Other places, you're on assignment maybe a few days a week. But S.H.I.E.L.D? No, when Coulson's in charge you're lucky to get a full night's sleep. That's why when I see an opportunity I take it." He finished, holding up his beer to make his point.

"Do you feel like working here is making a difference in the world?" Jane asked after he had finished.

"Huh uh. We had an agreement. No psychiatric bamboozlery on this brain, remember?" Hunter quickly quipped back.

Jane shrugged and replied with a smile, "Sorry, I guess I can't help it."

"Yeah, yeah, excuses…"He mumbled, trailing off.

"May, I need you to take a look at these." A woman's voice said from the doorway, where a brunette entered, looking at the screen in her hand. "I took the images Coulson gave me and ran them through a code breaking database I found in—" The woman paused mid-sentence when she looked up to see an unfamiliar figure in the room. "Oh—um, hi." She stammered.

"Hi, I'm Jane." Jane piped up, waving from her spot on the sofa.

The girl opened her mouth to reply back, but May spoke up first as she made her way back across the length of the room. "What did you want to show me Skye?" She asked.

"Oh, I was just going to show you what I found when I put these through the pattern verification." Skye said, snapping her attention back to what she had come into the room for. "It's still preliminary and it's too soon to know for sure, but I think we're on to something." She showed the screen to May and they discussed the results.

"That's Skye by the way." Hunter said. "She's usually pretty friendly, unless she's in her super-computer-hacking-and-code-breaking zone. In that case good luck getting her attention."

"I noticed." Jane said. "So how many people are there on the team?" She asked curiously.

Hunter thought a moment then answered, "Well, there's us three of course, and other than Coulson there's Mack, he's the mechanic."

"Oh, I met him earlier!" Jane said, happy to know to whom he was referring. "He seemed nice."

He took another sip and continued, "Trip's not here right now I don't think, but I'm sure you'll meet him soon. And I suppose other than that it's just Fitz, but he's all...well..." Jane wasn't sure what he meant by that, but she didn't say anything; she figured she would find out soon enough.

"Sounds like you're all one big happy family." She said in response.

Hunter sighed, "I suppose we are." He lifted his beer to take a drink, but paused halfway, and tilted his head to the side, thoughtful. "Hey Skye." He said after a moment.

Sky and May halted their conversation to look over at him. "Uh, yes?" Skye replied.

"Weren't you the one keeping an eye on that Barnes guy?" Hunter asked, his forehead creased.

Jane was suddenly alert at the mention of the name. She hadn't realized he was on the plane already, but when she thought about it, it seemed only logical.

"Well I was." Skye replied, a mild tone of annoyance seeping into her voice due to Hunter interrupting her discussion with May over what she deemed a less important matter. "But he got bored watching me so he left."

"And you just let him?" Hunter asked in disbelief.

"He said he was going to find you!" Skye retorted defensively.

Hunter looked around the room and then back to Skye, his brows raised. "Do you see him here?"

Skye understood what he was getting at, but simply replied, "So he got a bit lost, so what? Why do you care?"

Hunter scoffed and set down his beer on the coffee table. "Oh I don't care." He answered sarcastically. "Except for the fact that you let a mentally unstable ex-HYDRA operative roaming around!"

"What was I supposed to do, lock him in there?" Skye asked, beginning to get angry. She didn't appreciate Hunter's accusatory tone.

"I don't know, maybe! If that's what it takes!" He said, leaving his seat to step closer to Skye.

Skye crossed her arms, "He's not a two year old, and I'm not his mother. I wasn't aware I needed to chaperone him absolutely everywhere."

"Well maybe you should've." Hunter griped back. "Because now there's a psycho killer out there with a metal arm that could kill any one of us."

"Watch it, Hunter." May interjected sternly. Jane watched as the argument grew in intensity, wishing she could slip away without them noticing.

"He's not like that." Skye said, in regards to his comment about Barnes.

This time Hunter was the one to cross his arms. "And you know this why, because you spent a whole 45 minutes with him?"

Skye simply clenched her jaw, squinting at Hunter. "Fine. You're so upset about it, you go find him!"

"Fine, I will then." Hunter replied mockingly.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." May said quickly.

Hunter looked to May, "Do you really want Skye doing it? She couldn't handle keeping track of him the first time—"

"I'll do it myself." May answered interrupted, speaking through gritted teeth trying to hold onto the last bit of patience she had left with him. Grabbing the tablet from Skye she started pulling up the security feeds from the plane.

"You know what." Jane gingerly spoke up. "Why don't I just find him, it's what I'm here for anyway right?" The three looked at Jane, all realizing they had forgotten she was there.

No one said anything for a moment until May finally nodded and handed the tablet back to Skye. As she slipped out of the room, Jane heard disgruntled sighs from Hunter and Skye, and then the sound of Hunter falling back into his spot on the couch.

Once out of the room, Jane began backtracking the path she had taken with May earlier. She had a fairly good idea where Bucky would be, figuring that if he had experienced anything similar to what she had just encountered, he would have gone to the same place where she had wanted to escape to amidst the chaos.

Jane walked through a set of doors and stepped onto the grated metal balcony overlooking the garage. She started down the spiral steps, and as she had expected, there was Barnes, standing at the last foot of the loading ramp that was still down. He hand his hands in his pockets and was gazing out at the view. Because of the way the aircraft was positioned, he had a perfect view overlooking the city.

Once she saw the metallic left arm she knew it was him. "James Barnes?" She asked softly as she approached him. His head turned to the source of the voice, surprised as he hadn't realized anyone was there. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." She said as she took a spot next to where he was standing.

"Oh you're fine." He reassured. "And you can just call me Bucky." He added with a smile.

Jane nodded and returned the smile. "I'm Jane by the way. I don't know if they told you about me or not."

"Yeah, Steve was telling me about the new babysitter he got me." He looked out at the buildings below and added with a sigh, "The least he could've done was to get me a cute one." Jane wasn't entirely sure how to respond so she just looked out at the city and said nothing.

The silence lingered in the air for several moments before Bucky said with a laugh, "I'm kidding!" Jane looked up at him to see a wide grin on his face. She couldn't help but blush a little, partially from embarrassment that his joke had gone right over her head, and partially from the compliment that he had so subtly just given her. "Man, most girls would have smacked me upside the head for that." He said, chuckling to himself.

Jane stuck her hand in her back pockets and replied, "Well I guess you'll come to find I'm not really most girls." Just based on first impression, Jane decided that unless she had known his history beforehand, she probably wouldn't have guessed anything was wrong with Bucky. He seemed content, happy, even. However, it didn't matter how big he smiled or how many jokes he told, there remained the look deep in his eyes that told Jane there was a lot more going on under the surface than he let on.

"Jane…" He muttered to himself. "Do you mind if I call you Jay?"

She was surprised by the question but answered, "Sure, if you want to I guess." Bucky nodded in affirmation and Jane thought a moment more. "You don't care for first names much, do you?"

Bucky shrugged and replied, "I don't know, I suppose not. But I think it depends on the person sometimes."

Jane considered this, the sunlight peeking out from behind a cloud and reflecting off the building windows. "Hang on, so Steve's your best friend and you just call him Steve?"

"His name is Steven." Bucky answered plainly, the corner of his mouth tugging upward.

Jane crinkled her eyebrows in thought. "That's actually true. Touché." She felt kind of dumb for not realizing that fact sooner, but she pushed the feeling away, not letting it show.

"You know, what you said was right." Bucky said, changing the subject. When Jane looked up at him he continued, "You're not like everyone else. For one, you aren't afraid of me." Bucky motioned to his mechanical arm, "This usually takes care of that one all on its own. Most of the time people walk on eggshells around me, afraid they will set me off somehow. And even when they try to act like it's no big deal, I can tell they're nervous, that they're uncomfortable. But not you, I don't see any of that in you, you aren't afraid."

Jane squinted into the morning sunlight, its rays warming her arms. "Should I be?" Bucky simply shrugged. "You see, I believe in treating people in a way respective to their actions. If you had given me a reason to fear you I would have. But I haven't seen any reason to do so, and unless I do, I see no point in treating you as anything other than the perfectly friendly human being I've met so far."

"Until." Bucky said simply. Jane didn't understand and looked at him confused. "You said unless I give you a reason to be afraid; that should be an 'until I give you a reason to be afraid'."

Bucky's tone was serious, but she knew this time that he wasn't joking. He meant it, and he fully believed that would be the case. She wasn't sure exactly what to say, as she didn't want to make him feel like she was there simply to "fix" him. Usually when she was working with someone for the first time she liked to just get to know them like a normal person. No psychological theories, no offering of advice, just making a connection and putting them at ease. This time was no different.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." She said softly after a period of silence.

Bucky said nothing for a time, and the two stood in the peaceful quietness of nobody around. They gazed at the city, watching the continuous stream of cars weaving in and out of lanes, all trying to get to their destination as fast as possible. Bucky was the first to break the silence. "You can just about see where I used to live, over there."

"Oh?" Jane said, intrigued.

Bucky pointed to the right of Jane, where she could see the Statue of Liberty back dropped by the bay. "Over there, past liberty island." Jane squinted, recognizing the area he was referring to.

"Oh, you lived in Red Hook? That's cool! I've only been through there once or twice, but it seemed nice."

"Of course it looks a bit different now, it's been a few years since I was last there." He added with a slight smile. "I mean, it wasn't even called 'Red Hook' then, as you say. It was just the ever-poetic 'South Brooklyn'." He said, waving his arms theatrically as he named his neighborhood.

Jane commented chuckling, "I live in Manhattan." She said, pointing to Bucky's left, explaining where her area of town was. "I never went into Brooklyn much. You'll have to show me sometime."

Bucky looked down at Jane and replied with a smile, "Sure, sometime. Then you can show me all the best places to eat that they've added since the 1940's."

Jane laughed, and Bucky joined in "Yeah let me just whip up a list real fast!"

"So what do you think?" Coulson said to Steve as they both stood on the garage balcony watching Bucky and Jane conversing and laughing below.

"I think you were right. She's got a knack for it, and if she's got as much talent as you say she does, I have no worries. If anyone can help him, it's her.


	12. Chapter 12

Bucky stood next to Jane, both hanging at the back of the group where Coulson was giving the team a rundown of their tasks for the day. It had only been a few days since they joined to team, and they still felt like they didn't quite belong just yet. During each of the previous morning meetings such as the one they were presently in, they had been given no direct orders and had been left to find their own ways to pass the time. Which, at first, had been nice- no expectations, no responsibilities, no pressure. However, the two of them had quickly ran out of places to explore on the Bus, and sitting around with nothing to do but make small talk was starting to get old fast.

Jane let out a small sigh, knowing today was likely not going to be any different. She knew she was simply there to help Bucky, and not to help the team in their work, but she couldn't help feeling like she was being a burden to them. Every time she saw Skye eagerly clicking away on her computer, or Mack and Fitz working on something in the lab, she couldn't help but feel useless and in the way. She knew Bucky felt the same way, but she had no idea what she was supposed to do about it.

Coulson finished up his brief announcements and everyone set off to do their respective duties. Jane and Bucky turned to follow the line of people heading out the door, but were stopped by a stack of files being thrust in front of them forcing them to halt. Jane looked up to see it was Coulson who was holding the papers, waiting for her to accept them.

"I need you to have Bucky look over these and see if anything triggers a memory we can use." Coulson said as Jane transferred the hefty stack to her arms. "In there is everything we have on Joseph Harrison. He's one of HYDRA's high ranking operatives and has been working on a weapons research project the last four years. We need to know where their operation is set up, and how to infiltrate it." He said calmly.

Jane looked at Coulson, then to Bucky, and back to Coulson again. "Uh—um, alright." She stuttered. "We'll get on that I guess." She was a bit taken aback by Coulson's sudden interest in getting them involved, but she was glad to have something to do and didn't want to ruin it. Even if it was just more research analysis work.

Coulson nodded and returned to his desk. Jane looked up at Bucky who simply shrugged before they both left the room. "Well that was interesting." Jane commented as they walked down the hallway looking for a good room to use.

"Does he really expect us to get through all of that in one day?" Bucky asked, referring to the large stack of files Jane was toting in her arms.

"Speaking of which," Jane said, turning to him. "You're the one with the super strength, you carry these." Jane let out a sigh of relief as she plopped the pile into Bucky's arms, happy to not have to carry them. "Don't know why he couldn't have just given us flash drive, but whatever." She added quietly.

They walked a bit further until Jane finally proclaimed, "Aha! This one should work." She opened up the door to a room with a tall table in the center with a stool on either side of it. She flicked on the light and saw that even though it wasn't large, it would work just fine for what they needed to do.

Jane took a side of the table, and Bucky followed suit, taking the other. Jane took a deep breath, looking at the huge stack before her. "Well, I guess the top is as good a place to start as any." She said, grabbing the top folder and opening it up.

Three hours later they were still perusing documents and images, having only made it through a half dozen of the countless folders. Bucky held a series of security camera screenshots in front of him, acting as though he was inspecting them closely. The first was a picture of a man and a woman sitting on a park bench with a briefcase between them, and in the next frames it showed the two exchanging a few words, then the woman leaving with the briefcase that she had not arrived with.

He had already looked at them a good four times in the last fifteen minutes, but he once again found himself staring at them aimlessly, unsure of what he was even looking for. So far they had sifted through copious amounts of information, and read reports until their minds felt like mush, yet still their efforts had produced no results. Several times Bucky had begun to wonder if they were just wasting their time, but Jane seemed determined to keep going, so he tried to look interested.

"You've looked at those like twenty times already, did you find something?" Jane asked restlessly, letting her head rest in her hand.

Bucky quickly put the images down, knowing she had caught on to his schemes. "No. I guess I'm really not much help, sorry."

"Yeah, well neither am I." She replied back, trying to make him feel better about the situation.

"Maybe I just wasn't involved in any of this stuff." Bucky said, looking for an explanation.

Jane just shrugged. "Maybe."

"Wait, hang on a minute." She said after a moment. A slip of paper peeking out of one of the files halfway through the unfinished stack caught her eye and she carefully pulled the file out, her face puzzled. Bucky watched as she quickly piled all the papers on the table back into their correct folder and then spread the new ones out. His heart skipped a beat when he realized what had caught her attention. Moving a few documents aside he grabbed a copy of a HYDRA test subject list with dates next to each name. Skimming down he found the familiar title he grown to hate seeing, "Winter Soldier".

Bucky swallowed hard, knowing what this meant. This was proof that he had been involved with this in the past so the memories had to be there. That was the whole point of all of this of course, to get the memories, but all the same he realized he had been hoping he wouldn't have to.

"Did you remember something?" Jane asked softly after watching him stare silently at the document for nearly a minute. When he didn't reply she continued, "Bucky, are you all right? Bucky?"

Upon hearing his name being repeated, Bucky snapped out of it and looked up to meet Jane's worried gaze. "No I-I'm fine." Taking a deep breath he added, "Nothing is ringing any bells though."

Jane let out a sigh. She was glad that Bucky was alright of course, she didn't want to see him in pain, but she was also getting frustrated with the lack of results. Since she had met him, Bucky had seemed to be doing fine—not perfect—but fine. He always gave a smile when the others would talk to him, and she hadn't seen any evidence of mental instability. And it was all starting to worry her. Based on the information she had been given about what he had gone through at HYDRA, and the things Steve had told her about his recovery thus far, he shouldn't have been doing as well as he was.

Based on the evidence, she had assumed he was suffering from among other things, PTSD; yet lately she had begun to wonder if she'd had it all wrong. There was no depression, no high levels of anxiety, no jumpiness and tension. At the very least she would have expected to see night terrors or traumatic flashbacks, but it had been nearly a week and Bucky was starting to seem like one of the most well-adjusted of the team.

The look she saw in his eyes now, however, was all she had needed to know that she had been right in her diagnosis from the beginning. Bucky may have been more skilled than most at compartmentalizing emotions and putting on a brave face, but Jane was accustomed to seeing through exteriors and now that his guard was down, though only for a split second, she could see the true fear beneath the smile.

He was afraid of remembering because he knew he couldn't control what he saw; a feeling Jane knew all too well. She began to wonder if that was the real reason Coulson had chosen her for the job. Not because of the skills she had developed while helping at the clinic with Dr. Jacobs, but because she was in the unique position of being able to understand what he was going through.

"You know what, I think a break would do us good." Jane announced, shoveling the papers back into their folder. Bucky nodded wordlessly, helping her straighten out the stack. He stood and pushed in his chair after her, expecting to follow her out the door to go somewhere else in the Bus for a while. Instead he watched in confusion as she instead kneeled to the floor and laid down on her back, her arms stretched out beside her.

Jane laughed at Bucky who stood confused on his side of the table, not knowing what to do. "It's a little weird, I know, but I've found that laying on the floor is actually quite nice." When Bucky didn't move she added, "Come on, don't act like you've never done it before."

Bucky processed the scene a moment more before shrugging and joining her on the hard floor. While he was doing so, Jane pulled out her phone from her jeans pocket and found a playlist she had saved. Tossing the phone next to her, the room filled with sounds of a piano and an orchestra.

The moment made Bucky think of all the times when Steve would put on music telling him that someone had suggested it and that it was supposed to be amazing. Sometimes they ended up liking it, but a lot of times, usually it was when it was something Tony had suggested, they found themselves wondering how the thing they were listening to was even considered music.

This time though, he found Jane's music refreshing, and was definitely not an assault on his ears. "Steve used to make me listen to some weird stuff, but this is nice, what is it?" He asked Jane, whose eyelids had closed.

"Soundtracks are where it's at!" Jane laughed. "A lot of people think they're boring, but I like them. They feel more real, like you're connected to the musician, you know?" Bucky agreed, though he wasn't sure he felt it quite the way she did.

"What's it from?" Bucky asked, not recognizing the music.

"No idea." She replied simply, making Bucky laugh. The two rested, taking in the music for several minutes until Jane finally broke the silence. "I get it you know."

"Get what?" Bucky asked, turning to look at Jane.

"Why you're afraid to remember stuff." She answered without opening her eyes. Bucky opened his mouth to protest that he wasn't afraid, but the more he thought about it the more he realized she was probably right. He hadn't had any flashbacks in weeks, and perhaps, even if just on a subconscious level, his own emotions were the reason why.

"You can't control what you're going to see." Jane continued. "There's always the thought in the back of your head that wonders if you would be better off not knowing. And then you start to worry that if you remember, you won't ever be able to forget it."

Bucky knew from the way she talked, that she'd had a personal encounter with such a situation. "What are you trying to forget?" He asked quietly.

"Nothing." She replied simply. Opening her eyes slowly she turned so she was facing Bucky, who was looking at her with a furrowed brow. "I don't have anything to forget, because it's all been forgotten already."

Taking a deep breath she continued, "Before I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. I woke up one day in a hospital bed with no idea where I was or who I was. It's been three years and I still can't remember a thing of my life before S.H.I.E.L.D." She watched as Bucky processed this information and realized that she had truly meant it when she said she understood.

"I'm really sorry, I had no idea." Bucky said softly.

"Don't be, it's not your fault." She replied, forcing a smile. "Besides, I've grown to accept the fact that I probably won't ever get those memories, and maybe that's for the better. But we're not here to talk about me, we're here to help you remember!" She added, with enthusiasm.

Bucky sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I suppose we are."

"I don't want to rush you or anything, I hope you know that." Jane said. "But it's still my goal to get you through this as quickly as I can, so you can get back to living your life."

He nodded, knowing she really did mean well. "And what if that never happens?" He mumbled quietly. "What if I never get back the person I was before; what if who HYDRA made me is all I am anymore?"

"I think that's where you're wrong though." Jane replied.

"Why, because 'I can be anything I want to be'; or that 'HYDRA was just a rough patch in my life, and an obstacle I can overcome'?" He said with an edge of annoyance, repeating the lines so many people had said to him before.

"No, no that's not what I'm saying." Jane quickly answered. "What I'm saying is that you've been so busy trying to be who everyone else wants you to be, that you don't even know who you are. My goal isn't to make you back into the person you were before HYDRA, because quite honestly I don't think that Bucky exists anymore. You can't go through something like that and have it not affect you, to say otherwise would be belittling the strength you had to have simply to survive it. Steve was looking for the Bucky he knew before the war, but that's not who I'm looking for. I'm looking for the Bucky you are now. I don't care if he's 'damaged' or 'troubled' or anything else you may think you are. Those things don't bother me, because those things are human. They don't make you less of a person and ignoring them would be ignoring a part of who you are. My goal is simply to help you get to the Bucky you are now, and then to help you figure out how to live as that person."

Bucky pondered her words but didn't respond right away, instead letting the quiet sounds of the music cover the room. "You seem to have this all figured out. You should really be careful what you wish for, you may not like the person I am."

"Why do you always do that?" Jane said, turning to him with a faint smile.

"Do what?" Bucky asked.

Jane let her hands rest on her stomach and answered, "You always see yourself as a monster, and never realize the fact that you were the victim in all this."

Bucky shrugged, "You might understand what it's like not to be able to trust your own mind, but you don't get what it's like living with a reminder staring you in the face every day." He said referencing his metal arm resting on his chest.

"You'd be surprised." She replied with a smirk, her mind thinking of her own machinery screwed to her back. Bucky tilted his head to the side, not sure what she had meant by that phrase, but before he could question her about it the door opened and Skye stepped into the room.

Upon seeing the two of them sprawled on the floor, she halted and raised an eyebrow. "Um—okay. Jane, May was asking for you whenever you've got a free minute." Skye said.

"Alright thanks." Jane replied, not bothering to get up off the floor. Skye slowly backed out of the room, shutting the door behind her. She hesitated in the hall a moment, then shook her head and continued on.


	13. Chapter 13

Jane closed the door to her room and leaned against it, letting her eyes fall shut. Her watch read 11:48 p.m. and she knew everyone would be heading to bed soon, if they hadn't already. Rubbing her eyes she wandered across the floor of her room and flopped onto her bed, one leg dangling off the side.

She knew she should get to sleep soon, but she could tell that wouldn't happen anytime soon. As exhausted as she was, she knew sleep would be as difficult to achieve as always. Instead, the events of the day ran continuously through her head. Deciding she should at least give a good night's rest a shot, she moved to the other side of the room to grab a pair of pajamas and put her hair up in a bun.

While changing her top she caught a glance of herself in the mirror and paused to look at the metal plates running down her spine. Most of the time she forgot they were even there, but looking at them now, they seemed extraordinarily striking and eerie. They were so menacing and abrasive looking that she couldn't help wondering what she would've done if Bucky's situation was hers; if she had found out she was a weapon. Jane quickly shook her head, pushing the thought from her mind and pulled the tank top over her head, followed by the softest sweatshirt she had.

After their attempts at making sense of Coulson's files, and having no success, Jane and Bucky had decided a change of pace was in order for the day. Jane had come to find the reason May had wanted to see her was because she had decided if Jane was going to be a part of the team, she needed to at least have a basic understanding of hand to hand combat. Even if she wasn't going to be a field agent, self-defense skills would be useful to know if the need ever arose.

Bucky had wanted to be a good sport about it, agreeing to join in despite Jane's offers to let him sit this one out. Though it wasn't long before they had to stop. The repetitive motions reminiscent of fighting soon triggered memories for Bucky, some familiar, and some new. Jane hadn't quite expected it to happen so soon, but she figured he must have taken her words from earlier to heart.

It took Jane a good half an hour to calm Bucky back down to talk to her, but even then, she could tell he wasn't going to be interested in doing much else the rest of the day. She hated to see the far away, disheartened look in his eyes as he struggled to process the things he was remembering, but she also knew it was necessary for him to make progress, and the sooner the better.

After a bit of coaxing and pleading, Bucky finally agreed to tell Jane about the memories that were resurfacing. None of it had been anything that was going to help Coulson and his team, but Jane found it insightful in understanding what Bucky was dealing with. He was recalling a mission where he had been sent to assassinate a foreign diplomat, ultimately choking him to death with his metal arm.

They talked for a long while after that, though the conversation tended to be fairly one sided with Jane doing the majority of the talking. Bucky eventually came out of it a bit, but she made sure the rest of the day was pretty slow paced after that, and made sure he got to bed early.

Jane sat back down on her bed again, rubbing her temples where a slight headache had started to form. She fell onto her back and sighed deeply. There was a long road ahead and she really did need to sleep. But her mind simply would not give her peace and quiet. After several minutes of laying restlessly in the dark her thoughts wandered to the files they had been combing through earlier that morning. She wasn't sure if it was her past of being a research analyst, or if it was just paranoia, but she couldn't resist the feeling that there was an answer sitting there in plain sight.

The photos and documents swirled in her head, until she became fixated on one photo in particular. Something seemed off about it and after a few moments the reason why finally struck her. Her eyes flicked open, seeing nothing but the darkness of the room. Quickly she pulled the covers off and swung her legs around so her feet were touching the ground. Cautiously feeling around in the dark she made her way to the doorway and slowly pulled it open making sure it didn't make noise. Once in the dimly lit hallway she tiptoed past Bucky's room which she had requested be next to hers, and past the other team members' rooms, careful to stay silent as she passed each one.

The ship was silent, aside from the low humming that let her know they were in the air—which also meant at least May was still awake. Nimbly she padded through the aircraft until she arrived at the room she was looking for and slipped inside. Jane flipped the light switch and blinked several times waiting for her eyes to adjust. Coulson's office looked just as it had before, and she quickly scanned the room looking for the files. Not seeing them right away she proceeded to Coulson's desk, and noiselessly opening drawers until finally finding what she was looking for.

Grabbing the stack of files from the drawer she thumbed through them until she found the one she needed and opened it. Sifting through the papers she pulled aside the image that had been bugging her and found her suspicions had been right. Excitement coursing through her body at her discovery she quickly packed the files back up and backtracked to her room, files in hand. She had the gut feeling that sneaking around with the files and keeping them in her room would be frowned upon, but she had to know if her theory had any merit to it.

Once back in the safety of her room she let out the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding in. Instantly she began going to work pinning up different photos and documents onto the wall of her room where because of the way the room was laid out, wouldn't be seen even if someone was standing at her doorway.

The image that had first peaked her curiosity was one of a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent known to be a HYDRA operative. He had since been captured and executed, however the photo was from earlier when he was giving a press conference in D.C. The man was standing behind a podium and looked to be gesturing with his hands. On the underside of his wrist Jane had spotted what looked to be a tattoo, though she couldn't tell what exactly it was. She then cross referenced it with earlier and later images and as she had expected, the inking was never consistent. Sometimes it was there, sometimes it wasn't.

Eagerly she hurried to retrieve her laptop from under her bed. She had never used it much, but at the moment she was extremely thankful that Skye had shown her how to log in to the S.H.I.E.L.D. database. After several attempts to find the correct keywords she finally found the video from which the image was taken. Pausing it she zoomed in and was able to distinguish that the markings on his wrist were in the shape of a crescent moon overlapped by a circle.

Excitedly she went back to putting photos and documents on her wall, linking them together. Each time she found a connection it led her to another and before she knew it the papers on her wall began to look like wallpaper.

Jane was awakened by a knocking on her door and the sound of Bucky calling her name. "Jay? You in there?" He said, his voice muffled through the door. "If you don't answer me I'm coming in there." Bucky could see the light filtering out under the door so he knew she was in there. What he didn't understand was why she wasn't answering him. Usually she was up long before he was, and she was the one pounding on his door telling him not to be late for team meeting.

Jane opened her eyes groggily, seeing Bucky peering around the doorway. She found she had fallen asleep on the floor, leaning against the wall, and now she felt stiff and her neck ached. As her mind struggled to return to consciousness she saw all the work she had done on her wall and she suddenly understood why she was on her floor. Hurriedly she tried to tell Bucky not to come in, not wanting him to see the files everywhere, but he was already rushing in, a concerned look on his face.

"Jay! What are you doing? Are you okay, you weren't answering me?" He said, hurrying to her side.

She waved him off, still squinting in the bright lights. "It's nothing I'm fine." He tried to help her up but she ignored his offer and stood up herself, groaning at her stiff muscles. At the same moment Bucky's attention was caught by the papers scattered around the room and all over the wall

"Wha— What is all of this?" He stammered, looking back to Jane who was rubbing the bridge of her nose. "What did you— Did you do this all last night?"

May then appeared at the doorway, stepping into the room. "Meeting in five, are you—" She hesitated mid-sentence, her eyes having caught a glimpse of what Bucky was staring at in disbelief. "What in the..." She mumbled.

Jane just let out a long sigh and let her hands fall to her sides. "Look I know I shouldn't have taken the files but it's not as weird as it looks, I think I might have—"

"It's not me you have to answer to." May said, cutting her off. "You can tell Coulson whatever it is that you found after team meeting. Right now we need to go." She continued, ushering Bucky out of the room where they waited in the hallway for Jane to join them after changing.

"Phil, I believe Jane has a matter to discuss with you." May said quietly to Coulson as the team exited his office, the meeting having wrapped up. "Jane." She said, giving the floor to the sleep deprived girl. Jane simply nodded in acknowledgement and then proceeded to walk out of the room, dragging Bucky along behind her.

Coulson looked to May, confused, and was met only with a sigh and a nod motioning to follow the pair. Arriving at Jane's room, the four filed in and Jane waited for Coulson's shock to hit.

"So that's what you were doing in my office last night." He said calmly, breaking the silence.

"I—Wait what?" Jane questioned, having not expected him to know about that.

Coulson's mouth turned up in a grin. "I keep a lot of valuable things in my office, you don't think I would neglect to have security on it do you?"

"I—uh—I didn't realize." Jane stammered, now feeling embarrassed. She began wondering how ridiculous she must have looked on tape, thinking she was being so sneaky. "Why didn't you stop me?"

He shrugged, then answered, "I figured you must've had a good reason, and considering we've got plenty of backups I didn't see the harm in it." Motioning to the wall he added, "Looks like I was right to let you do your thing."

Bucky stood in the back, trying to suppress a smile. He found it entertaining to see Jane stumbling over her words, her cheeks growing pink from embarrassment. She liked to put on the front that she always had everything under control, but he knew better. All you had to do was catch her off guard and you'd find she was just as human as everyone else. He filed this observation away in his mind, figuring it would probably come in handy sometime in the future.

"So, are you going to explain to us what all of this is for?" Coulson asked.

Jane forced herself to snap back to reality, still flustered from before. "Right, well the first thing to start it was this image here." She said, pointing to the picture in the middle of the collage. "See this tattoo here?" She asked, indicating the small moon image.

"Lots of agents have tattoos, what's so special about this one?" May asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

"That's just it." Jane answered getting excited. "I cross referenced it with other photos I had of him and it's not always there. It's not in fact a tattoo at all, but rather an entrance stamp to The Eclipse. It's an international night club with several locations around the globe, including one in D.C." She directed their attention to a reproduction of the moon symbol she had drawn on the back of one of the papers. "I once did a write up on the place before S.H.I.E.L.D. went down, that's why I recognized it."

"So the man enjoys the night life. I'm not sure I see how that's pertinent." Coulson commented.

"You see how his stamp is in blue ink?" Jane continued, pointing again to the man's wrist. "The Eclipse only ever uses black or purple ink on their stamps. Black is for regular admittance, and Purple signifies VIP which gives you access to the back rooms. They do not, however, in any of their facilities use blue ink." Coulson squinted, trying to understand what Jane was getting at. "I think HYDRA was using the club as a cover, and the ink colors were their code."

Coulson raised an eyebrow skeptically. "So let me get this straight, because one known HYDRA informant has a different colored club stamp you automatically conclude that the biggest international terrorist group of the last century has been operating out of the back door of a night club?" He asked, unconvinced.

"Not just one." She answered eagerly. Quickly she moved to retrieve her laptop from where it was charging next to the wall. Walking back towards the group she pulled up the numerous tabs she'd bookmarked.

"I started with the agents closest to our guy here, and I could only get through a few, but already I found several others who at one point or another could be seen with the same stamp—all of them in blue ink." Jane said, flipping through the other pictures she had collected.

Coulson looked thoughtful and after a minute nodded slightly. "It might be a long shot, but I don't see anything that says this isn't a valid lead. Keep working with this and let me know when you've got something solid." After finishing his statement, Coulson turned towards the door and walked out without another word, May trailing after him.

Jane turned to Bucky and let out a deep sigh. "Well I think that went well." She mumbled, running her hand across her forehead.

"You're hilarious when you're flustered." He said with a smile. Jane replied with a roll of her eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

"Where's Bucky?" Mac asked as Jane plopped onto the couch beside him.

"Taking some alone time somewhere. I haven't seen him for a while, he's probably in his room by now." She answered with a tired sigh, lifting her hands to where the familiar headache had decided to return. She reminded herself to take some painkillers when she got back to her room.

Mac's cool beer rested calmly on his knee. "Must be nice, you guys seem to always be together. It must get exhausting."

Jane shrugged, "I guess. I think it was more of a matter of him getting tired of sitting around while Skye and I worked on the Eclipse files. I don't blame him though."

"That's right, she mentioned something about that. How's it going, you guys working together now?" He asked, taking a drink.

"It's alright, I suppose. I mean, she definitely knows her stuff; she created a program to scan all the images in the database for the stamp. I didn't even know that was possible, my solution was to just sift through them all one by one." Jane said with a chuckle.

Mac could tell there was something more she wasn't saying and asked, trailing off "But…"

"But, I don't think she likes me all that much." Jane finished. "I mean, we've been working on this for what, three, four days now? And the most conversation outside of the project is about what kind of pizza we were going to order for dinner." Jane pulled one foot up on the couch, resting her elbow on her knee. "It's not that she's mean or anything, it just feels like she doesn't want me around."

"I wouldn't take it personally." Mac answered, shaking his head. "Skye's been through a lot lately. She sees S.H.I.E.L.D. as her home, her family, and because of the things that happened it's probably just hard adjusting to the fact that more people keep being added."

Jane turned towards Mac. "What do you mean? HYDRA overtaking S.H.I.E.L.D.?" She asked.

"Well partially." He replied. "But it was more personal for her than that. It was before Coulson brought me on, but one of their team members had turned out to be HYDRA and betrayed them all, Skye most of all."

Jane raised her eyebrows in surprise. She'd had no idea that was the case, but she could understand what Skye must've felt, finding out that someone close to her had been lying all along. "Let me guess, they were more than just friends, too." Jane said somberly.

"More or less." Mac answered. "But I don't recommend bringing it up, Ward's a touchy subject for most people around here."

Jane nodded in agreement. The last few minutes the two of them had been watching as Fitz was attempting to make himself a cup of tea. His progress was slow, however, as he kept getting distracted by the argument he was having with the individual that they couldn't see, but apparently he could.

"Can I ask you something?" Mac asked quietly.

"Yeah, what is it?" She replied.

"It's about Fitz." Mac said hesitantly. "Do you think you can help him? I mean I know it's not what you're here for, but you're used to dealing with stuff like this, surely there's something you can do."

Jane just looked at Mac and let out a small laugh. "Are you kidding me? You're the best shot he's got. Maybe you don't see it, but what you do for him is more help than what a lot professionals I've known can do for people."

"But all I did was be his friend?" Mac said unconvinced.

"And that's all he needs. He needs someone who's not afraid to take the time to work through things with him, someone who doesn't make him feel like a burden, or will label him as crazy. I couldn't do anything for him that you couldn't do better, you should give yourself more credit."

Mac shrugged and took a drink, contemplating her words. "It just feels like since Simmons left he's gotten worse. Sometimes I think he's getting over it, but the next day its back to square one and he's discussing theoretical physics with her again." He said, referencing Fitz who seemed to be in a heated debate about which kind of tea bag he should use.

"Where did she go anyways?" Jane asked. "No one ever really told me."

Mac took a deep breath before answering quietly, "I'm not really sure I'm supposed to know this, so don't go talking about it, but after they were rescued from the ocean, Simmons took an undercover assignment at HYDRA."

"What!" Jane exclaimed, then quickly quieted herself, remembering Mac's warning. In a hushed tone she continued, "Man, what is even the point of being briefed before joining a team if they don't even tell you half of the important things."

Jane wanted to ask him more questions, but Fitz was now heading towards them, taking a seat in one of the chairs. Mac offered to put in a movie and the other two nodded.

Jane let out a yawn as the end credits rolled. She looked over to see Fitz asleep in his chair, his head bent to one side. Mac slowly pulled himself up off the couch with a tired groan and walked over to the TV to remove the disc. Jane stretched a moment, then pulled herself to her feet. "You want me to wake him up?" She asked, motioning to Fitz.

"No, it's alright I'll take care of him." Mac said tiredly. "You should get some rest."

Jane nodded sheepishly and started down to hall towards her room. She didn't bother turning on the light when she got there, not wanting to blind herself with its harsh brightness. Quickly she changed into her shorts and tank top and put her hair up before crawling into the soft covers of her bed. For once she was actually tired enough that sleep didn't seem impossible like usual, and she was grateful.

She was on the edge of consciousness, just about to slip into sleep when a loud thud startled her awake. She laid still a moment, unsure if the noise was in reality, or if it was just her mind playing tricks on her. She listened in silence for a moment, and was about ready to conclude that it was just in her head when a crash that sounded like shattering glass echoed from the wall just next to her head.

Jane jumped at the sound, her heart nearly skipping a beat. The sound had come from Bucky's room that was just next to hers, and instantly the worst began running through her head. Fighting to wake up she crawled out from under the sheets and headed for the door. Once outside she could hear the noises continuing and she hurriedly opened Bucky's door, forcing her hands to cooperate.

Instinctively she flipped on the light switch but soon wished she hadn't. She quickly clamped her eyes shut at the brightness and slowly tried to blink and get her eyes adjusted. Across the room, Bucky was facing away from her, his metal arm leaning against the wall.

Between them she could see what looked like the remnants of a vase shattered across the floor. It was the one she had forced him to put in his room even despite his protests that he didn't care for decorations in his room. "Bucky?" She called out tentatively.

He turned slightly at her voice, but didn't turn around fully. "You shouldn't be in here Jay." He said gruffly and she could tell by the way he sounded that he was shook up.

Rather than heeding his advice she hopped over the glass shards, trying to avoid them with her bare feet and laid her hand gently on his metal arm. He lifted his head to look at her and she could see his eyes were red. Despite his attempts to hide it with anger, she could see the fear beneath his eyes.

"The nightmares started didn't they?" She asked, even though she already knew the answer. "I'm only surprised it took them this long to show up."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" He snapped back.

Jane was taken aback by his sharp tone, but still chided herself internally for saying it. She hadn't really meant to say it out loud, but with the sleepiness in her mind she had found herself slipping up and saying what was on her mind without thinking. "Sorry, I didn't mean it to come out like that."

"No, I'm sorry." Bucky said after a moment. "You're just trying to help, I get that." Letting out a shaky breath he slid down the wall to sit on the floor.

By now several members after being awakened by the noise were coming to see what all the fuss was about. May rubbed her eyes as she peered into the room, and Skye and Trip soon appeared behind her, both groggy and squinting in the light.

Jane waved them off, letting them know it was under control and May responded with a nod before ushering the others back to their rooms.

"Sorry about the vase." Bucky said as Jane knelt down to his level. "It just kind of caught me off guard, and that was the closest thing for me to grab."

"Honestly, its fine. It was super cheap anyway. Besides, you were always telling me how ugly that thing was anyway!" She said, trying to lift his spirits.

The corners of his mouth lifted slightly, but they soon lowered again. Running his hand through his hair he said, "It just made me so angry. I don't know why it made me so angry."

Jane knew he was referring to whatever flashback he saw. Rather than asking him what he saw she simply answered. "It's not that surprising, you have more than enough reasons to be angry."

"Why? I was a monster. All those people I killed, I deserve to be going through hell right now, it's only fair." He replied, truly believing his statement.

"Bucky," She said earnestly, waiting until he looked up to meet her eyes. "Don't ever say that. You don't deserve any of this, you're a good man!"

Bucky just shook his head. "I'm really not. If you knew what I've done you'd know just how wrong you are about that."

Jane however, was not about to give up that easily. "I don't care what you've done, and even if I did know all the things you did, my opinion wouldn't change. You know why? Because it wasn't you doing them, it was HYDRA. You are never going to get past this until you realize that you are not the monster in this, you were the victim! You can't keep blaming yourself for all these things that were out of your control."

"You were angry because at the heart of everything, you've got it right." She continued. "HYDRA used you, that isn't your fault. You're angry because you were made to do things you never wanted to do, and it's good that you're angry, you have every right to be! But please never forget that even if your hands did the act, that doesn't mean you are the one responsible. That blood is not on your hands Bucky, it's on theirs."

He thought about her words but didn't respond. "Do you believe what I'm saying?" She asked after a minute of silence.

Bucky forced himself to look up to meet her gaze and could see the sincerity in them. He couldn't bear to keep her eye contact and looked away. "Not really. But I believe that you do, and I'm sure you're going to convince me of it one day."

Jane felt a seed of disappointment starting to grow, but she reminded herself that recovery was a long process, and any progress was still progress. "Well there's no use discussing it now, in the middle of the night." She finally said, standing back up and offering him her hand. "You stay here, I'll go find a broom and clean this up."

Bucky accepted her hand, noticing a patch of red on her foot in the process. "Jay, you're bleeding." He said, concerned.

Jane glanced down to see what he was referring to and realized in her haste to get to Bucky she had failed to avoid all the pieces of glass and now there was a small gash on her left foot. "I suppose I am." She said nonchalantly. "I didn't even feel it, I don't think it's that bad." When his face remained wrinkled in concern, she added mockingly, "I'll find a Band-Aid while I'm getting the broom if it will satisfy you."

Bucky finally relaxed and let her go, then took a seat on the edge of his bed. Jane returned a few minutes later, broom in hand, to find him staring blankly at a spot in the floor, seemingly miles away. He only finally looked up when he heard Jane sweeping up the broken glass. Forcing himself to snap out of it he walked over and grabbed the broom in her hand. "Let me do it." He said simply.

"It's fine, I can handle it." She replied, not letting go of her grip on the broom. "You should get back to bed I'll take care of this."

"Jay," He said sternly, not releasing his grip either. "I'm not getting back in that bed anytime soon considering what happened last time I was in it. Please let me feel like I've done something useful tonight."

Jane didn't want to give in, but when she realized he was entirely serious she finally gave in and let him have the broom. "I'll be back in a second." She said, handing him the dustpan before walking out the door.

Bucky went to work cleaning up the mess and in a few moments Jane was back, her phone and the blanket from her bed in hand. Carefully sidestepping Bucky and the sharp pieces on the floor she laid the blanket out on the floor, and then did the same with the ones from Bucky's bed. She could see Bucky's questioning glances and stated, "Didn't figure you'd want to be alone tonight. And if you don't want to sleep in your bed, then we'll just have to make a fort."

Bucky just shook his head with a faint smile. He was starting to get used to her odd habits, and he laughed realizing this didn't even surprise him anymore. It didn't take him long to finish and while he dumped the contents of the dustpan into the trash, Jane was flipping through her playlists trying to decide which one to pick.

Bucky flicked off the light and Jane's face remained illuminated by the glow of her phone screen. He crossed the room and nimbly lowered himself to the floor, laying down next to where Jane was sitting cross-legged on the blanket, lose strands of hair falling over her face. "Chillstep or classical?" She asked, unable to decide on a playlist.

"Hmm, classical." Bucky replied, not wanting to admit he had no clue what 'chillstep' was.

Jane selected the classical playlist and shut off the screen, filling the room with darkness. With a sleepy yawn she laid down on the blankets. She felt a little bit awkward, seeing as she didn't normally do this kind of thing for most of her patients. But then again Bucky wasn't just a normal patient. She wasn't trying to give him the wrong idea, but she knew that what someone in his position needed right now was to feel secure and reassured. She couldn't just go back to bed in her room knowing he was just next door, terrified to be alone with his thoughts.

Unsure of what she should do she simply laid with her hands across her stomach, a few inches away from Bucky. The last thing she wanted to do was make him uncomfortable or anxious, but she had no way of knowing how to go about doing so.

Figuring she couldn't do much harm the way she was, she focused herself on trying to fall asleep. She'd already missed any chance of a decent bedtime, but she hoped to make the most of the hours she had left. Somewhere in the area between consciousness and sleep, of which she couldn't tell, Jane felt Bucky put his arm around her, pulling her head so that it rested on his chest, and she let the melodic sounds of the music lull her to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

"As most of you are aware, last night Agent Simmons has returned to us, and will be rejoining the team along with Agent Morse." Phil said as the team stood gathered in his office on base. Like usual, Jane and Bucky stayed at the back. Jane looked over to see the two women Coulson was referring to and wondered what they were like. Bobbi seemed a bit intimidating, but Jemma looked like the kind of person Jane would get along with if they'd met in any other situation.

Shifting her gaze to the other side of the group she saw Fitz standing with his head tucked, clearly not having one of his better days. Jane's heart went out to him, and she couldn't help thinking about what it must be doing to him to have Simmons back. She'd never known them together, but with the few times she'd heard Fitz talk about her, Jane could tell they'd shared a unique and special bond.

"So, I stopped by your bunk this morning to talk to you about something, but you weren't there." Skye said quietly to Jane as Coulson continued talking about the plans for the day. Her words pulled Jane from her thoughts and she looked over at Skye.

Jane felt a small flush creep into her cheeks and she fought to keep it from showing. Her mind went back to earlier that morning when she woke up to find herself practically pressed up against Bucky who had been still asleep. She didn't think the team were the kind of people to get uptight about that sort of thing, but she didn't really want to test that theory. She didn't want to seem unprofessional, and more so she didn't want to confuse Bucky, making him think she was giving him signals. However, he hadn't brought up the subject and she didn't how to bring it up with him.

"Look I'm not judging or anything, it's just—" Skye said.

"Nothing happened." Jane quickly interrupted, trying to keep her voice low. "I was just being moral support for him, it wasn't anything like that."

"Alright then." Skye said, taken aback by Jane's earnest response. "I was just going to say—" Skye had to stop mid-sentence, as Coulson was soon interrupting her.

"Something you'd like to share with the team, ladies?" He asked, making everyone turn to look at them.

Jane shifted uneasily under the stares of everybody. "Nothing, sorry sir." She muttered quickly.

"I have something, actually." Skye piped up. "Our work on the Eclipse files found some evidence that the club is indeed a front for HYDRA communications. I decoded a transmission and there's definitely something big going down tonight, but we have to act fast if we're going to do anything about it."

Jane looked to Skye in disbelief. "What do you mean, why didn't you tell me about this?" She asked in a whisper.

"I was trying to." Sky replied sternly under her breath. "But I couldn't find you." She added with a hint of irritation.

Coulson looked pleased with Skye's announcement and nodded his head. "Good. We'll discuss it further and I'll let the rest of you know when we have a plan laid out. When nobody brought up any objections he continued on finishing up his brief meeting.

"Skye, take these and explain to everyone what the plan is." Coulson said as the four of them finished discussing the results of the work Jane and Skye had done regarding The Eclipse. Skye nodded and headed for the door to find the rest of the team so she could lay out the strategy Coulson and May had agreed upon.

"I'll come with you." May said, following her out.

Coulson started arranging things on his desk, but Jane didn't leave. "Sir, can I ask you something?" She finally asked, hesitantly.

"Sure, what is it?" He asked, looking up.

"Well I was just wondering; you never mentioned me or Bucky in your plan for tonight." Jane said, stepping closer to his desk. Coulson just looked at her, waiting for her to elaborate. "I guess what I'm asking is, do you think it would be possible for us to accompany the team on this one?"

"In the field?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. "Absolutely not." His tone told her the subject was non-negotiable, but she wasn't satisfied leaving it at that.

"But sir," She pleaded, "we've put so much work into this, it doesn't seem fair that with all the time we've put into it, we should be expected to just sit back and let someone else take over."

Coulson sighed and responded, "It's not a matter of your dedication; it's a matter of qualification. I know May's been working with you on training, but you're nowhere near being field ready."

"What about Bucky, he's got as much training and field skills as the rest of the team combined, surely you can't be content with just letting that go to waste. At least let him go along." Jane said.

"And risk the success of the mission as well as the safety of my team? I can't do that Jane." Coulson said, still unconvinced by her pleading. "Barnes is still incredibly unstable, and as helpful as it would be to have his skills, it isn't worth the risks it would add." Jane opened her mouth to protest but Coulson cut her off. "Under no circumstances are either of you to come on this mission, do you understand?"

Jane couldn't help but let her disappointment show, but she still forced an acknowledging nod before she exited the room in frustration.

"Here, these should help your headaches." Jane heard a voice say from behind her from where she stood watching Bobbi and Hunter getting suited up for the mission. It was an all hands on deck sort of thing, and somehow the two of them had gotten assigned as tactical backup. A decision Hunter seemed to be opposed to.

"Oh hey, Jemma." Jane said, turning to see the owner of the voice, holding out a small yellow bottle of pills. She hadn't realized she'd been rubbing her forehead, but Jemma's words made her aware of it and she dropped her hands to her side.

"Bucky said you get them sometimes." Simmons said with a smile, dropping the canister into Jane's hand.

Jane unscrewed the cap and pulled out two of the small pills. "Oh, so you guys met then?" She asked before tossing the tablets in her mouth.

"Yeah, we crossed paths in the hallway earlier." Simmons replied. "He speaks pretty highly of you, you must be proud of the progress you've made."

Jane shrugged. "I can't really take all the credit. He's the one who had to put in the effort, otherwise I could talk for hours and it wouldn't do a thing."

"Still, you helped him remember a high ranking member of HYDRA, of whom we now have the opportunity of getting intel on tonight." Simmons said encouragingly.

"Yeah I suppose so." Jane answered with a smile. "Speaking of which, how come you aren't getting ready? Did you get benched too?" She asked.

"Turns out getting your cover blown for all of HYDRA to see makes it a bit difficult to show your face anywhere." Simmons answered and put her hands in her pockets. "And besides, I'm not really much of a field agent. Much more comfortable in the lab."

Simmons's mention of the lab made both of them think of Fitz. "Tell me honestly, how has he been doing while I've been gone?" Simmons asked quietly.

Jane wanted to tell Jemma how horrible her decision was, to essentially abandon her friend when he was in such a state, but she held her tongue. Instead she answered, "It's slow, but I think he's getting better."

Jemma nodded. "I do feel bad for leaving him like that. I hope you know that."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me." Jane said, though she didn't believe her own words. "You were in a difficult position and you did what you thought was right."

"I just couldn't bear to see him that way, and I thought if I left he'd be better off." Simmons said, still feeling she had to give an explanation. "But now that I'm back, it's like we hardly even know each other anymore. I can't even have a conversation without him getting frustrated and one of us having to leave."

Jane watched as Skye, Trip, and May joined the others and the got ready to head out. "Just give it time. Don't give up on him yet. The trust you guys had before won't come back right away, but as long as you keep at it, all hope isn't lost."

"There you are Jay, I was wondering where you had run off to." Bucky said and Jane turned to greet him with a smile. He took a spot standing next to her and put his arm around her. Jane flinched slightly at his touch, but she didn't say anything.

"Well, they look like they're ready to head out." Simmons said as Coulson entered the room and started rounding up the team members. "I think I'm going to go see what Mac and Fitz are up to."

"Oh, okay." Jane said a bit surprised, and waved as Simmons left. Casually slipping out of Bucky's arm, Jane turned to face him while leaning on the railing behind her. Bucky saw what he was doing, but pretended not to notice. "So, seeing as we've got the night off, what do you propose we do?" She asked, trying to sound lighthearted and upbeat.

Bucky pretended to look thoughtful, but a smirk grew on his face. "Well I've been doing some thinking, actually."

"Oh have you now!" Jane quipped back with a smile.

"Indeed I have, if you can believe it." He replied. "Mac was showing me his videogames earlier and I wondered if you wanted to give them a shot with me."

Jane wrinkled up her face at him. "You know I'm absolutely terrible at those things…" She said trailing off.

"Well it's not like I'm any better." Bucky chuckled. "Steve and I played once, and we both spent more time trying to figure out what in the hell we were doing than actually playing the game. Though I hate to brag, but I did totally beat him. For some reason I couldn't ever get him to play again." He said.

Jane laughed, "I guess I don't have a choice then, do I?"

"Everyone ready?" Coulson's voice echoed from below. "Okay let's head out." As they finished up their last minute preparations the team piled into the SUV and May lowered the garage hatch, a gust of the chilly Russian air breezing its way in. Jane crossed her arms against the cold, and the two of them waved goodbye as the vehicle exited the ramp, the hatch closing after them.

"You've got to go in reverse first, you're stuck behind the tree!" Bucky exclaimed as they both watched Jane's silver car spinning its wheels furiously on the screen.

"I'm trying, it's not working!" She shouted back, laughing at her utter inability to maneuver her vehicle. Bucky's half of the screen showed his own red car sitting across the finish line, while Jane's was still half a lap behind.

"You have to push this one and this one at the same time." Bucky said, pointing to the buttons on his controller.

"I am! I think my car is defective." Jane retorted.

Bucky just laughed. "That's what you said the last three cars you picked."

"You know what," she said defiantly, "you can just shush it over there. I was doing just fine until you had to go and mess me up with all your special bonus tricks." Finally, after hitting several more walls, Jane finally made it to the finish line and confetti washed over the screen.

Jane leaned back against the couch with a sigh of relief as the menu loaded. "Well I'd congratulate you on your improvement, but I'm pretty sure that was your worst lap time yet." Bucky joked.

"Oh shut up." Jane smirked back. "I think you've programmed that so you could cheat." She said, pointing to Bucky's mechanical arm.

"Oh-ho, man the denial is strong tonight!" Bucky quipped. Jane merely replied by rolling her eyes at him. Bucky set his controller down next to him and grabbed the box of leftover Chinese from the coffee table that they had made their dinner. Jane balanced her controller on the arm of the couch and grabbed a fork.

"If I suggest something, will you promise not to freak out and call me crazy?" Jane asked between mouthfuls of orange chicken.

"I suppose." Bucky mumbled through his mouthful of food.

"What if we took a field trip of sorts? You know, go see how everyone's doing on the mission." She commented.

Bucky let out a laugh, thinking she was kidding. When he realized she was being serious his smile faded. "Wait, you're serious about this—you and me, crashing the team's mission?"

"Hey, you promised!" She groaned. Bucky raised his hands in surrender as though to say he hadn't said the words—even if he had thought them.

"No, it's just—you said you talked to Coulson and he said we were to stay here." He stammered.

Jane took another piece of chicken from the box. "Yeah, but come on, what does he know. We've been cooped up for weeks, if it's not on the bus, it's at base. We deserve to get out don't you think?"

"Sure, but don't you think Coulson would be upset if he found out we left?" Bucky asked, not convinced of Jane's proposal.

"Oh he'll get over it." Jane answered with a wave of her hand. "Besides, I was told when I came here that I was to do whatever I felt was best for my patient, and this is what I say is best. Just think about it." She continued, seeing he wasn't yet won over on the idea. "Actually seeing people other than the team, real fresh air, getting to actually walk somewhere other than back and forth through the hallways."

Jane's persuading got Bucky thinking and he had to admit it did sound nice. They had been kept inside for a long time and he missed the feeling of the outdoors. However, one thing was still holding him back from feeling okay with the entire thing. "And what if I have a flashback while we're out there, then what?"

Jane looked at him as though he had just asked a stupid question. "Then we'll work through it the same as always. What difference does it make if it's here or there? I'll be with you the whole time there's nothing to be afraid of."

Bucky had started to warm up to the idea, but Jane's eagerness and his desire to not disappoint her, were the factors that really prompted him to finally agree, rather than any sound reasoning.

A cold gust greeted the pair as they stepped into the night air and slipped away from the cloaked aircraft. "It's good May didn't park us too far from the city." Jane remarked.

Bucky just pulled the collar of his coat higher, mumbling unintelligibly into it. He hated Russia, but he wanted the night to be enjoyable so he tried to ignore his distaste for the country. The lights of the city glowed in the growing dusk as they made their way to the outskirts of the town. After hailing a cab, they piled into the back seat, glad to be out of the chilly air.

Jane pulled the slip of paper from her pocket with the address where Coulson and the team were, and using her very limited Russian vocabulary attempted to convey the information to the driver. However, her struggling to pronounce the words correctly only resulted in the driver looking at her thoroughly confused. Bucky held back a smile as he watched the two arguing back and forth, neither knowing what the other was saying.

Finally, deciding they'd struggled long enough he leaned forward in the seat and related to the driver where they were headed, in flawless Russian. Jane looked at Bucky with a deadpanned look. "What, you couldn't say that five minutes ago?" She sighed.

"It was fun watching you argue with him, I couldn't pass up that kind of entertainment." Bucky answered with a laugh. Jane tried to glare at him but his happiness was soon contagious and she couldn't help but smile. "Jerk." She said, punching him playfully in the arm. Instantly she recoiled, realizing she had punched him metal arm. "Wow I just can't win today." She chuckled, marveling at her genius.

"Here, let me look at it." Bucky said, taking ahold of Jane's hand.

"Oh it's fine, I barely hit you." Jane protested, pulling her hand back.

Bucky shrugged, "Well can I look at it anyway?"

"Really, it's fine." She said more seriously, keeping her arm tucked in by her sides.

Bucky's smile faded into a line and he settled back onto his side of the car, letting go of her hand. "It's okay, I get it. I'm not an idiot, I saw how you pulled away from me earlier." He said quietly.

Jane felt the blood rising in her cheeks and she looked quickly down at her lap. "It's not like that, I just—" She stammered.

"Then what is it?" He asked. "Because it seems pretty clear to me you are trying to send a message."

"No, no it isn't your fault, you didn't do anything." She said quickly. "And it's not that I don't like you, I just—I want to be professional." She stammered, looking for the right words. "Coulson hired me for a specific job and I intend to fulfill that."

"Right, I'm just the patient." Bucky mumbled under his breath.

"I didn't mean it like that." She answered, shaking her head.

He shrugged, "No, it's fine, I understand. I'll stick with doing what I'm told." He said, trying to hide the tension inside him.

"Bucky, please—" Jane pleaded, putting her hand on his arm.

"We're here." He said simply as the cab driver pulled the car to a stop.

Jane shut her eyes, knowing that the conversation could've gone a whole lot better than it did. She handed some cash to the driver and stepped out into the street before joining Bucky on the other side. Seeing The Eclipse up just ahead they found a café that was still open, a few doors down from the club, on the opposing side of the street.

"Here, put this on." Jane said after that sat down at one of the tables by the window. In her hand was a small box with an earpiece inside. Bucky accepted it and watched as Jane put an identical one into her own ear.

"There, now that we're close enough we'll be able to listen in on the team, but they won't hear us." Jane said, when they had both clicked on the devices.

"Sochinsky and Gagnier are heading towards the bar." They heard Coulson say through the earpiece.

"I got eyes on him." May answered casually. From where he was sitting, Bucky could see the entrance of the club down the street, but for Jane to see it she had to turn around in her chair.

"So when was the last time you were in Russia?" Jane asked after their drinks arrived at the table.

Bucky took a sip of the warm liquid. "You've read my file, I'm sure you already know the answer to that."

With a shrug she replied, "I don't care about the file, I'm asking you about it."

"About six months ago." He said, finally agreeing to indulge her. "Before Steve found me of course. HYDRA had an asset they needed to reacquire but was in a high security prison holding. They needed him out but because of the circumstances they couldn't send a large crew in. So I was the lucky one who got chosen to infiltrate a detention base, taking 24 guards and 31 prisoners so that HYDRA could have their scientist."

Jane wasn't sure how to respond, so she ran her thumb back and forth across the handle of her mug. She'd of course already known about the incident as it had been included in his file, but hearing the words from his own mouth made it seem different somehow.

Jane and Bucky could hear Hunter and Bobbi arguing back and forth through the earpiece, seemingly ignorant of the fact that the team were all still listening. "Coulson, I swear if you make me babysit these two on a mission again I'm moving to Florida and you're not going to convince me otherwise." Trip said exasperated.

"Any sign of disturbance out there?" Coulson asked back.

"Other than the incessant bickering of the old married couple? No, no problems here, everything is clear." Trip answered.

"We're not an old married couple." Bobbi retorted.

"Funny how you seem to forget that fact at convenient times. If you're not my wife I don't have to agree with everything you say." Hunter quipped.

"Right, because I'm the she-devil who forces you to follow protocol." Bobbi mumbled back.

"Hey, I—come on, that was one time." Hunter stammered. Trip let out a long languished sigh.

Coulson's voice came back on the line, "Okay children, save it for later. Some of us are trying to actually do some work here."

Jane heard the door of the café open behind her and looked to see a man stumble in, clearly drunk. "Sir, you can't be in here like that." One of the waitresses said to him in Russian when the staff realized he was far past coherence. He stumbled to another couples' table and mumbled at them indecipherably until they quickly shoed him away.

Jane and Bucky tried to just ignore the man, but their efforts were in vain as he soon hobbled his way to their table, practically laying on it. "A fine assed woman like you shouldn't be hanging around here, why don't we head back to my place?" The man slurred, with a big grin, though Jane was unable to understand anything he was saying and just looked at him worriedly.

Bucky, however, could understand every word and in an instant had a firm hand on the man's shoulder, pushing him away from Jane. "What kind of pig greets a woman like that?" He asked angrily in the man's native tongue.

"Hey look man, I'm just looking for a good time, and it seems you're lady is too. She's just a whore, what's it to you." The man answered back, seemingly un-phased by Bucky's stern demeanor.

Bucky stood quickly from his chair and grabbed the man by the collar of his jacket as Jane looked on in surprise. "Don't ever talk about her like that again." He breathed, shoving the man backwards until he fell on the floor. "If I ever hear you treat a woman like that again I'll rip you're vocal chords clean out of your throat."

Around the room, the other customers were glancing around at the incident, however, many tried to ignore it and carry on with their conversations. Jane, taken aback by Bucky's sudden outburst of violence rose from her chair to intervene. "Bucky, calm down this isn't like you." She pleaded quietly, trying not to elevate the situation.

"He's not going to get away with that kind of blatant disrespect." Bucky said in English as he yanked the man's jacket pulling him off the floor.

"By bashing his head in?" Jane asked incredulously. "He's drunk out of his mind, he hasn't a clue what he's doing!"

Bucky wasn't convinced and pulled the man closer, glaring at him. The inebriated man had lost his previous joyousness and now look frightened in Bucky's grip. "H-hey look man, I'm not looking for trouble. I was just kidding about the girl." He stuttered nervously.

"Shut up, you pathetic excuse for a man." Bucky grumbled back angrily.

"Rusakov is heading for the front entrance." She heard Coulson say in the earpiece, and her heart seemed to skip a beat at the sound of the familiar name.

"We're on it." Bobbi answered.

Bucky looked up towards the window to see a man walking out of The Eclipse half a block down. Without a word he dropped the man in his hands and headed for the door swiftly. "Bucky stop!" Jane shouted as she quickly followed him out. Rusakov was the name of the HYDRA operative Bucky had given them intel on, but from the information Jane had about the mission, he wasn't supposed to be at the club that night. Bucky's experience with the man had been considerably less than ideal and she knew if Bucky came into contact with him things would end very badly for everyone involved.

Without bothering to look for traffic, Bucky stepped into the road, walking quickly with only one goal in mind. Several yards behind him, Jane weaved between cars trying to catch up to him without drawing too much attention. "Shit." She whispered under her breath as Bucky approached the man, knowing she was unable to stop him.

"Uh, Coulson, I think we might have a problem here." Bobbi's voice echoed over the line.

"I thought the point of this was to get a track on him discreetly, so why is metal arm all up in this guy's face?" Hunter questioned.

"Move in now." May commanded after arriving at the front entrance and seeing Bucky deck the man whose expression was one of smug satisfaction at seeing Bucky. Jane arrived at the sidewalk in front of the club's entrance to see Bobbi, Hunter, and Trip close in on the feuding pair, while trying to keep their weapons discreet. May startled Jane by arriving at her side out of seemingly nowhere. Skye followed after her, but didn't say anything.

"What the hell did you think you were doing bringing him here?" She asked fiercely, her gun drawn by her side.

"I—I—I didn't mean—" She sputtered breathlessly. In front of her, Bobbi raised her I.C.E.R. and Jane's breath caught in her throat. Bobbi pulled the trigger, but before the bullet could hit him, Bucky raised his arm to catch it in his metal hand, where it came to a stop without effect. Bobbi and Trip exchanged shocked glances before realizing this meant they in no way had the upper hand in the situation. Meanwhile Bucky and Rusakov still struggled against each other, until Bucky finally got his hands around the man's throat.

"Somebody get in there, we need Rusakov alive, and the street is going to be crawling soon." Coulson said. Jane couldn't figure out where Coulson was at, but she assumed he must have a good vantage point of the scene.

"All those innocent people you made me kill, at least when I kill you I won't have to worry about regretting it." Bucky snarled at the man in Russian.

Despite his quickly diminishing oxygen supply, Rusakov managed to find the air to sputter back, "They weren't all innocent, and neither are you." His words only made Bucky angrier, yet none of the team members had moved any closer, each one hoping to not be the one who had to step in.

"Someone move in!" Coulson said louder and more frustrated. Everyone still hesitated, and without thinking Jane broke away from May's reach and rushed towards Bucky.

"Hey—!" May yelled after her, despite knowing it would do no good.

"Bucky stop!" Jane shouted as she reached for his arms to make him let go of Rusakov. Instinctively Bucky swung at the individual coming at him, the force of his mechanical arm sending Jane stumbling backwards several feet on the ground. She grimaced at the pain from the impact but scrambled to get herself back up as quickly as she could. "This isn't going to fix anything!" She pleaded again, trying to get him to look at her.

This time, Jane's voice registered in his head and he turned to see her standing there with tears welling up in her eyes, begging him to stop. His hesitation was all the team needed, and they quickly rushed in, pulling Rusakov away from Bucky.

Bucky looked stunned as he took in the bruise on Jane's face that had already begun to change color. She could see the change on his face as the realization hit him, that he was the one who had done it. "No, no, I—" He stammered, trying to find the words. Jane turned away, unable to watch as Bobbi fired another I.C.E.R., this time being successful.


	16. Chapter 16

Hey everyone! I haven't made an authors note in a whole so I thought I'd say hi, and wish you all a wonderful thanksgiving if you're celebrating today:) please leave a review if you've got the time, I love to hear what you guys think! Also, on a somewhat unrelated note, i watched the civil war trailer last night and can I just say I am most definitely not ready...auuuughhhhhh

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Jane grimaced as Simmons wiped the disinfectant where the pavement had scraped up her arm. Bucky sat a few chairs over, still coming out of the effects of the I.C.E.R. "Do you have any idea what you've done, what this has cost us?" Coulson asked, not bothering to conceal his anger or frustration.

Simmons handed Jane an icepack, which she gratefully accepted. "Does all the work you and Skye did have no meaning to you?" He asked, crossing his arms. "This was our chance to get the upper hand on HYDRA, but now we can't because it's sitting locked up in a cell on our plane."

"I'm sorry, honestly—" Jane said, gingerly adjusting the ice pack on her face. She decided she wouldn't be surprised if she had a black eye the next day.

"No, see a sorry doesn't cut it." Coulson interrupted. "You put everyone in danger by having him there, and nearly alerted the several other HYDRA agents inside. Now I know I said you're job included the freedom to do things your own way, but this is a bit ridiculous."

Jane flinched as Simmons applied an ointment to her wound, making the area numb. "I'm sorry, I thought it would be good for him to get out; I thought he was ready." Jane said, trying to explain herself.

"No, see you disobeyed a direct order. I told you that under no circumstances were you to interfere with the mission, and you went ahead and did it anyway!" Coulson said, his voice rising.

"Don't get mad at her, it wasn't her fault." Bucky said, rising from his seat, the drug's effects having since worn off. "If you're going to be mad at someone be mad at me." He pleaded. "She had no idea I was going to react the way I did and the blame is only on me."

"This discussion doesn't apply to you Barnes." Coulson said sternly.

Bucky moved a few steps closer. "Okay, but it does, and I won't sit here while you tear into Jay for something that was beyond her control."

"Bobbi, get him out of here, he's clearly recovered from the I.C.E.R." Coulson said, rubbing his forehead.

She moved from where she had been standing, to Bucky's side. "Where do you want me to put him?" She asked simply.

"I don't know." He said, frustrated. "Put him in one of the cells where he can't hurt anybody for now, we'll decide what to do with him later."

Jane saw Bucky's countenance drop at Coulson's words and it hurt her to see him like that. She wanted to protest to Coulson, but ultimately knew that doing so was only going to make things worse. Gently she nodded to Bucky, who then agreed to follow Bobbi out the door.

"By the way, I'm really sorry about shooting you." Bobbi said quietly as they were exiting.

"Twice." Bucky corrected.

"Yes, twice." She reiterated with a faint smile.

When the two had left the room, Jane broke the silence. "He really does mean well. He just gets carried away sometimes."

"But that's just it!" Coulson exclaimed. "Don't you get it? That's what you're here for is to make sure he doesn't, to keep what happened tonight from happening. If I can't depend on you to do even that, how am I supposed to justify keeping the two of you on the team?"

Jane lowered the icepack to her lap. She felt miserable and it wasn't just because of her physical ailments. She didn't know what she could say that would satisfy Coulson, so she opted for silence instead.

Coulson paced the room, calming himself down. After a minute of silence he finally spoke, "I don't want to have to take any drastic measures, and I'd rather not have to remove you from the team. But you're on a very short rope now, and if the time comes, I won't hesitate to call Rogers in and leave you back in New York." Knowing any further discussion was out of the question, she simply nodded. Feeling satisfied that he had finished everything he had to say, Coulson left the room, leaving only Jane and Simmons.

"He'll come around eventually." Simmons said as she pulled off the latex gloves.

Jane looked down to see a clean bandage where the scrape had been. "You sure about that?" She asked. "I've seen him angry before, but that was something entirely new. I'm not so sure this one's going to blow over so easily."

Simmons shrugged as she cleaned up the used materials. "I've seen worse, and he'll get over it. Take it from someone who once jumped out of a plane without a parachute only to find out the lethal toxin wasn't as deadly as she had believed."

Jane looked at Simmons incredulously. "Woah, woah, hang on a second what?" She said disbelievingly.

Simmons laughed, "Yeah, I guess it wasn't one of my proudest moments, and Coulson was pretty unhappy with me. And while he hasn't forgotten about it, he doesn't hold it against me anymore. On the other hand I don't know if Fitz—" Simmons's voice trailed off when she looked up to see a figure in the doorway. Jane turned to see that it was Fitz himself.

"Hi Jemma." He said, nodding to her as he shuffled across the room. "Skye told me to ask you if you would um—uh—hmm—" He paused to search for the word. "Analyze, yes that's it. Skye wants you to analyze these." He said finally, handing her a small clear box with an unidentifiable object inside.

"Did she say what it was?" Simmons asked, accepting the object in her hand.

"Yes, but I don't really remember." He stammered back.

Simmons smiled, even though they could all feel the awkward tension in the air building. "Thank you Fitz, I'll get right on it. You can join me if you want." Fitz thought about it a moment, but finally agreed, albeit a bit reluctantly. As they left the room, Jane pondered how Simmons really wasn't kidding when she said things were uncomfortable between the two of them.

Jane exhaled slowly before softly opening the door to Bucky's cell and stepping inside. The room was empty aside from a bench built into the wall in one corner, with Bucky sitting on it. Hearing her enter he looked up, but his usual smile was missing.

"I was beginning to think you were never coming." He said as she latched the door behind her.

"I just needed to take some time to sort some things out." She replied before taking a seat next to him. "But I wouldn't have forgotten you."

Bucky nodded but didn't say anything. After a bit of silence he asked, "So where are we?"

"Just passed over California, we should be back to base in a few hours." Jane said, checking her watch.

"When we get there," He said, pausing. "I want you to lock me in the holding cell. Like the ones where they had Ward in vault D."

Jane let out a long sigh. "Bucky I'm not going to do that."

"No, I mean it." He said earnestly, and she knew that he did. "I hate myself for what I did to you, and I couldn't live with myself if I did it to anyone again."

Jane looked at her hands, trying to find the words to say. "I don't blame you for what happened back there." She said.

"But I do." He interjected.

Jane continued, ignoring his statement. "And I'm not going to lock you up, that's not going to solve anything. Coulson has agreed to let us stay with the team, so when we get back we just continue what we were doing. Work on getting the last of your memories back, and continue training like we have been."

"What for?" Bucky scoffed. "Because you think after what happened, that Coulson is ever going to let us near a mission again?"

"Well maybe not initially, but he can't ignore the fact forever that you have the skills to be the best agent he's ever had." Jane said. "And it's not just that, it's important for you to have something to take your mind off things, something that's tangible, and real and can get you out of your head."

Bucky wasn't sure he was convinced, but he didn't feel like arguing with her. As much uneasiness as he had about the situation, he decided to just let her have this one. "Fine, whatever, we can do it your way. We'll keep doing what we've been doing. But," He said pausing. "I'm not going to train unless it's in a controlled environment. I'm not risking the possibility that the same thing happen as did tonight."

Jane thought a minute before accepting his compromise. "I suppose we could make it work." She said with a smile.


	17. Chapter 17

Jane blew a strand of hair from her face after landing several successful hits on the boxing dummy. "You're still turning your fist in too much." Bucky commented as he stood a few feet away, observing.

"Really?" She asked breathlessly. "I thought I got it that time."

"Well, it was better, but it was just a little bit off." He replied.

Jane wiped her forehead and motioned for her water bottle. "Can you hand me that?"

Reaching behind him, Bucky grabbed it and handed it to her. Before taking a drink she popped a few pills in her mouth. "Still getting headaches?" Bucky asked, trying not to sound concerned.

Jane took a long drink of liquid before answering, "Yeah, the meds Simmons gave me seemed to work for a bit, but I don't know, they don't seem to do much anymore."

"Maybe you should have her check you out." He suggested. "I mean, it's just that they've been getting more frequent, it could mean something's really wrong."

She simply shrugged it off and said, "I'm sure it's nothing more than lack of sleep and squinting at paperwork too much.

"Maybe, but don't make yourself miserable. If it gets too bad, just talk to Simmons." Bucky said, hoping she would have the common sense to ask for help rather than suffering in silence out of principle.

Back in the lab, Coulson, Fitz, and Simmons were discussing a new prototype they had been developing. Hearing someone enter, they turned to see May entering. "I thought you were training with Jane and Barnes?" Coulson asked, leaving Fitz and Simmons to discuss things.

"I was." May answered. "But it turns out Barnes really does know his stuff, and I ended up not being needed anymore."

"Huh, Interesting." Coulson noted.

"He's got an extraordinary talent for it." May continued. "And you know I don't say that unless I mean it."

Coulson turned and nodded, knowing the truth in her statement. "Jane still hasn't stopped asking me to let him go on a mission with the team. Apparently the word no is not in her vocabulary. She's adamant that we need him in the field."

"You know, I hate to say it," May said, "but I actually think I'm starting to agree with her on that one." When Coulson looked at her questioningly she continued. "I'm not saying it should happen right away, we still need to know his mental stability is in a place where the incident with Rusakov won't happen again. But given enough time, don't be surprised if you find yourself having to reconsider."

He sighed, knowing May was probably right, yet not wanting to accept it. "We'll see."

Jane tossed her water bottle to the side, having been refreshed by their quick break. "You sure you're ready for this?" She asked teasingly.

"Oh it's not me you should be worried about." Bucky laughed in response. "You haven't beaten me yet, remember?"

"Excuse you!" Jane exclaimed. "I beat you just last week, or don't you remember?"

Bucky moved his water next to the wall and joined her in the middle of the floor. "Only because I let you win. I was feeling bad for you!"

Jane rolled her eyes as she tightened her ponytail. "Right, if you say so. But when I get you this time, you'll have no excuse!"

"Wow, such confidence!" He remarked. "Let's hope your game is as big as your talk."

Jane simply smirked at him as though challenging him, before they both took their places on the mat. Jane was the first to make a move, lunging to take a hold of Bucky's neck, but before she had any chance of doing so, Bucky easily maneuvered away. In an instinctive and fluid motion he pulled her shoulders in to his chest with his elbow, leaving her arms immobile. Reacting quickly, she wrapped her leg around behind his and applied pressure to the back of his knee.

Forced to bend his knee by her movement, Bucky fought to keep his balance. Using this moment of distraction as her opportunity, Jane wriggled out of his grasp and quickly spun back around to face him. Bucky swung to grab her, but Jane saw him coming and ducked before he could succeed. Jane aimed for his head, his shoulder, and his chest, but each time, Bucky was quicker and was able to block her. They continued for a few minutes, taking turns taking shots at the other, yet neither of them landing any.

Breathing hard, and able to feel the blood vigorously pumping through her veins, Jane knew if they continued much longer, Bucky would soon win, just by sheer stamina. Knowing that because of his enhanced physiology he could practically go on forever without ever feeling fatigued, she decided that if she was going to best him she had to do something, and do it quick.

Feeling the rhythm of the match progress, she waited for her moment, and when the opportunity presented itself she took it. Building up the energy she had left, she swung her right arm at Bucky, him stopping it with his own just as she had expected. Without missing a beat she used his grip on her as leverage to swing her leg up towards his head and in doing so, launching herself up towards his head. Keeping her momentum going she propelled herself further, until she was essentially on his shoulders. Using her legs to keep him pinned, she used the last of her momentum to pull him backwards, until he had no choice but to stumble backwards onto the floor.

Bucky looked stunned, as he hadn't seen her sudden display of acrobatics coming, but Jane remained focused, pleased that her plan had worked thus far. Now both lying flat with their backs on the floor, Jane curled around to pin down his right arm with her own, while simultaneously weaving her left leg around his other arm to keep it in place. Bending her right leg to pull his chin up, Bucky found his upper body had been pinned in just a matter of seconds.

He knew all it would take to escape was a few direct motions with his mechanical arm that would overpower her own strength, but he had to admit he was a bit impressed with how she had managed to catch him off guard. "Fine." Bucky breathed, and Jane released her hold on him. "You win."

Jane was still breathing heavily, and her chest rose and fell as she tried to catch her breath. "Hah! See what did I tell you?" She said proudly as she pulled herself up off the mat. She offered a hand out to Bucky, who while not as wore out as Jane, had still managed to break a sweat.

He accepted her hand and she helped pull him up. "Guess I can't write you off just yet." He said, rising to his feet.

Jane had a smug smile on her face and together they walked over to where the water bottles were. "I hate to say it, but I told you so!" She said in a sing song voice that only made Bucky roll his eyes. He wondered if she would notice that he had still let her have the match, but if she suspected anything, she didn't show it.

Jane took a moment with her hand on her hips to catch her breath, while Bucky debated whether he was actually thirsty or not. "I got to hand it to you that was a pretty impressive move." Bucky said as Jane unscrewed the lid of her water bottle.

She looked at it blankly for a moment, without answering, before looking back up quickly. "Yes, well I like to think I've got a streak of unpredictability in me." She said with a smile. Once she looked away, however, the smile once again faded and her brows furrowed.

Bucky dismissed it as tiredness and turned to the rack of equipment behind him. "Where did you pick that up anyway? I know it wasn't me." He asked jokingly, "Did May teach it to you?"

"I uh—um—" Jane stuttered slowly. Bucky quickly turned back around to see her shakily screwing the lid back on the bottle and setting it beside her unsteadily. "I—sorry." She said, shaking her head quickly, as though trying to rid herself of something.

"Jay?" Bucky asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

With her eyebrows wrinkled together, she lifted her hand to her head. "Sorry, just got a headache all of a sudden."

"But you just took the pills, they should have started working by now." He said worriedly.

Jane winced as another shockwave of pain bolted through her head. "I don't know, this one is a bit different. They were never this bad before." She said trying to block out the pain. With her eyes clasped tightly shut she held her forehead with her hands.

"Bucky quickly stepped over to her side, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Jay. What's happening, do I need to get Simmons, what do you need?" He asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

"I don't know— I— Man this really hurts." She stammered.

"Jay look at me." He said, bending down to her level.

Slowly she forced herself to raise her head up and opened her eyes to see him with the worried look on his face. With ragged breaths she said, "Bucky I think something might be wrong." She paused as she reacted to another wave of pain running through her head. "Please help me." She said quietly through gritted teeth as she looked back up with glistening eyes.

Bucky's heart pounded, not knowing what to do. He opened his mouth to ask her, but before he could get the words out, her eyes had rolled back in her head and she had dropped to the floor. Panic washed over him when she started convulsing before him on the floor, and he quickly dropped to her side. His first instinct was to pull her into his arms, but he quickly realized he needed to somehow contact Simmons. If anyone knew what to do in this situation, it would be her. Frantically he looked around the room, and he was quickly reminded that they were in one of the vault cells.

Hurriedly he rushed over to where the tablet with the lock controls sat, and cursed himself when he saw a required passcode for unlocking the cell. He'd never regretted a decision more in his life than he did now. He was kicking himself for having been so adamant on only training in there, and having Jane being the only one with the code. Desperately he dashed over to where the wall was that, though he couldn't see, he knew would be there. Quickly he looked over to see Jane still seizing on the floor and angrily he jammed his metal fist against the transparent wall, which though made some sparks fly, didn't let him through.

"But see, because of the bio sensor, the target demographic can be set to a specific range, thus localizing the results." Simmons explained as the four of them stood gathered around the table in the lab, inspecting the prototype.

"So how soon will this be ready to go?" Coulson asked.

Fitz and Simmons looked at each other before Simmons answered, "Well that's the bad news. Fitz still has to work out a few problems with the generator and a few of the components. And even then, we need sufficient testing data to be sure it's entirely safe and reliable." A beeping of a notification on one of the computers behind them sounded, and Fitz quietly slipped away to check it.

"So what are we talking here, a week, a few months?" Coulson asked, leaning against the counter. May remained stoic, with her arms crossed over her chest.

Simmons set the object back down and replied, "Assuming Fitz and I can work out the problems fairly easily, the only thing that would prevent it from being finished and ready for testing in a few weeks would be if we can't get—"

"Uh, Jemma," Fitz interrupted from where he stood at the computer screen, "can you look at this a minute." The other three moved over to Fitz and Jemma peered over his shoulder at the screen. "It's a uh—um—" He snapped his fingers, looking for the word.

"A transmitting signal." Simmons said, helping him out.

"Yes, that's it." Fitz said. "It's coming from, it looks like Vault D, section 2. What's down there that would be sending out a signal?" He mused.

"Jane and Barnes are down there." May said, with a hint of confusion in her voice. Coulson watched as the red dot on the map of the base on Fitz's screen blinked on and off, indicating an emitting signal.

Simmons quickly logged on to the computer next to Fitz's and scanned through the video feeds until she found the one for the place in question and clicked on it to open it. "Oh god." She breathed as she watched the feed showing Bucky pounding frantically at the transparent wall while Jane convulsed on the floor.

"Let's go." Coulson said simply as he ushered the other three quickly out of the lab and they headed for the vault.

Rushing into the room, Coulson quickly punched in the code to disarm the wall and May rushed over to Bucky, while Simmons hurried to Jane.

"I—I don't know what happened." Bucky stammered. "She was totally fine, and then out of nowhere she said she was having a really bad headache and then she just fell over and I didn't know what to do."

"It's fine; everything's going to be okay." May said, trying to calm him down. "Simmons has got things under control."

Simmons set the kit down that she had grabbed on the way, and looked through it for the syringe she needed. Finally finding it, she pulled off the plastic packaging while the others gathered around her and Jane.

With her heart racing, Simmons grabbed Jane's arm to steady it for the needle. At her touch, Jane's eyes opened and Simmons hesitated. Everyone's heart skipped a beat as two strained words emanated from Jane's mouth just before Simmons inserted the needle into Jane's arm. "Hail. Hydra."

Simmons pushed the plunger on the syringe, and the liquid's effects were almost instantaneous. Jane's eyes closed again and her muscles relaxed, the convulsions having ceased. Simmons breathed a sigh of relief as Jane lay still on the floor, her chest rising and falling slowly.

Simmons looked up at Coulson, whose face was grim, but she could tell he had been shaken by the words Jane had uttered, as had everyone else. Buck stood speechless, staring wide eyed at Jane. His mind reeled as he tried to make sense of what he had just seen and heard, but nothing could settle the dread that was rising in him.


	18. Chapter 18

"You got the Little Fox today?" An Australian man sitting lazily behind a desk asked as another man entered the room with a dazed and partially sedated girl in his grasp.

"Yeah, and you wouldn't believe what we had to put up with earlier." The man outfitted as a guard answered, pulling the girl's arm until she stumbled along behind him.

"Looks like they really did a number on her this time." The Australian commented before getting up and leading the other man to a cell.

"You don't see me complaining." The guard answered with a smile, and the other man just laughed. "Serves her right. She nearly sliced my arm open!" He exclaimed, clearly annoyed with the girl. "Some idiot didn't check her close enough when they brought her back in and she managed to pull a blade on me."

The other man looked at the girl who was practically limp in the guard's grasp and then to the guard who was a good foot taller and had a hundred pounds on her, and chuckled. "Yeah she looks terrifying." He said as he punched in the code and the door to the cell unlocked.

Not appreciating the man's lack of empathy, the guard retorted, "It just means you get to babysit longer." Gruffly he pulled the girl in front of him and pushed her into the cell and the other man closed it behind her. "Had to do another hard reset, so now they can't put her in cryo for another two days."

The man re-entered the code to lock the cell and replied, "Makes no difference to me. I'm stuck here for three more weeks anyway."

"I thought you were supposed to be getting transferred to the new site in Athens?" The guard asked.

The other man sighed, "That's what I thought too, but apparently I'm stuck in this outdated hole a while longer."

The girl slowly pushed herself up off the cement floor of the cell, everything still feeling muddled and hazy. Standing up, she moved to the other side of the small room where a cot was set up in the corner. She glanced over it, contemplating sitting down, but finally decided against it. The thing as a whole looked old and dingy and she didn't expect it to be comfortable. Instead she took a seat in the corner across from it, and leaned against the wall. Staring at the cell door in silence as the single fluorescent bulb above her hummed, she waited for her vision and her thoughts to become clear.

With a long sigh she let her head fall to the side and rest against the wall. With her knees to her chest, and her arms wrapped around her legs, she felt very small, even though the room was tiny itself. She closed her eyes and listened to the quiet buzz of the light. Outside the door she could hear the two men talking, but their voices were muffled and she couldn't quite make out what they were saying.

After a few minutes she softly opened her eyes again and resituated herself so that she could lay on the floor, still curled up with her legs to her chest. Exhaling slowly, she stared listlessly at the wall a few feet from her face, and wondered how long the men were going to leave her in the room. Looking at the base of the wall, a piece caught her eye. There was a crack in the cement wall that, while it wasn't the only one, seemed a bit out of place.

Slowly she reached out for it, and felt a bit of the cement crumble under her finger-tips. Propping herself up on her elbow, she inched herself closer to get a better look. Slipping the ends of her fingers into the narrow crack, she found the piece to be a bit loose when she moved it. Her forehead wrinkled in confusion and she wiggled it a bit further until a small chunk of the wall popped out, making her heart skip a beat. Behind it there seemed to be a hole that had been carved out but it was dark and she couldn't see what was inside.

The opening was just big enough for her wrist, and cautiously she slipped her hand into it. Feeling around, her hand brushed against something, and carefully she pulled it out to find it was a small notebook that was partially falling apart. Confused and intrigued by her discovery she brushed away some of the dust and opened the cover.

"Your name is Lucy Vonnegut and you're me." The girl looked up, confused, as she read the first line that was scribbled in the book. "You won't remember writing this, but hopefully my prediction will be correct and you will one day find this again." The girl wondered if she had accidentally discovered someone else's journal and felt like maybe she shouldn't be reading it. However, as much as she thought about it she couldn't keep herself from reading further.

"I was supposed to have my mind wiped earlier today, a 'hard reset' they called it, but I guess it didn't take quite right; but no one noticed. They put me in here in this cell, none of them realizing I still remembered everything." She was intrigued by the strange ramblings of this "Lucy", but she still wasn't sure she understood what she was writing on about.

"I managed to swipe this notebook and pencil off the guard, but that was about all I could do. I think they finally realized the reset didn't work, and they're going to take me back soon." The girl could tell by the handwriting that whoever had written it had been in a hurry, and was just trying to get everything down as quickly as possible. "I don't remember everything, but one thing I know is that I, well you, have to get out of this place, so I'm just desperately hoping that you find this again and can continue the work I didn't have a chance to. I'm sure this is all going to sound ridiculous and hard to believe but you have to just trust that you can do this. They don't call you Little Fox for nothing, there's no one with a better chance of escaping than you." The entry ended there but the girl didn't move and just keep rereading the last line. The words 'Little Fox' resounded in her ears and her breath felt like it had been trapped in her throat.

She had heard those words when the men had put her in the cell earlier, and somehow she knew without doubt that they had been referring to herself. Instantly her mind began running through hundreds of possibilities, but ultimately only coming to the conclusion that the person who had hidden this journal was herself at some past time. Heart beating quickly she turned the page with wide eyes to find another entry.

"Heard the guards talking today, I'm pretty sure the building is underground. Not sure where yet exactly. Cell lock can be picked with the fork that comes with lunch." Glancing down a few lines a few more words of text read, "Got a glimpse outside. The base is located somewhere in North America, but there is a homing signal in the mechanism they implanted on your back. Unless you find a way to disable it you won't get 100 feet out without them ambushing you and bringing you back. Also, don't let them know you can get out of the cell, they installed an electronic system." The girl reached back to feel the metal plates lined down her spine that she already knew were there. She couldn't deny it now. This was definitely her notebook.

She flipped through the many pages, scanning through the many entries, amazed at how much information she had seemingly managed to gather. Each one added a bit more knowledge to the inner workings of the base, then proposed a question which the next entry would try to answer. She found it fascinating as it was like reading a conversation that went back and forth, yet it was all the same person.

However the thought never left the back of her mind, reminding herself that she was this "Little Fox" and she was going to have to figure out something to add so that at some point she could finally attempt to get out of this place.

"Cell door code is 3790274." One of the entries caught her eye and she looked up to the keypad by the door. Excitedly she continued through the book, pouring over every detail. So far she had ascertained the habits of four different security guards, the last one being the one that currently worked there, as he was described as being Australian. She also had a fairly good idea of the layout of the base, even finding a crude drawing of a map, with only a few parts missing.

Turning one of the pages, her heart skipped a beat to see that it was the last page with writing on it. Trying to keep herself calm, she focused her eyes on the last entry. "There's a way to disable the tracking signal, but it won't be easy. First you're going to need to get to the reset room." Flipping back a few pages she located the corresponding room on the map drawing and picked out the best route to get there. "You're going to have to reset yourself, it's the only time the device is powered off. However, rather than restarting it like they always do, just leave it off. The difficult part is that your mind is going to be wiped, you won't remember anything. It also means you won't have any of the abilities the device gives you. But the only important thing is that once you've done it, just get out and get out fast. This should be the last entry, because this was the last thing needed before you get out. So if you're reading this it means it's time, and you need to go now."

She hurriedly flipped through the rest of the book, sure that there had to be more, but only found blank pages. She reread the last entry another time before closing the book and closing her eyes in an attempt to calm herself. The words were true, and the time for escaping was now or never. Accepting that this was what she had to do, she forced her breathing to level out and the beating of her heart to calm down. Then she went back through the entries and made a list in her head of the pertinent things she need to do and remember to be successful in her escape.

Happy with her plan, and rehearsed it numerous times in her head, she tucked the notebook into the waist of her pants where it wouldn't fall out and replaced the chunk of cement from the wall. Then, after moving to the wall with the door, she carefully pressed her ear to the cold surface and listened for the sign that indicated the guard was enjoying what she now knew to be his usual late evening nap.

She waited for what was by her estimation a few hours, checking the sounds every few minutes, until finally she was confident he was asleep. A theory that was confirmed when she heard the faint sound of his snores coming from the other side of the wall. After taking a final deep breath to calm herself, she punched the code into the keypad and quietly pushed open the door and slipped out into the dimly lit area.

Quickly she glanced around the room, looking for anything that was going to ruin her plan. The room was shaped like a semi-circle, with the perimeter being lined with cell doors, and in the middle was the security guard's desk. At first glance, he didn't look armed, but when she looked closer she saw that he had a handgun holstered on the hip farthest from her. For once she was actually glad she was barefoot, and with steps as silent as her breathing, she crept across the room until she was behind the man who was slumped back in his chair, his arms across his chest, and his mouth hanging open slightly.

Glancing quickly at the security camera feeds in front of him she saw a few guards roaming the halls, but the route she planned on taking seemed to be clear. Now she just need to get his access card from around his neck without him waking up. With a steady hand she slowly lifted up the card from his chest and with the other, carefully guided the lanyard around his head. Right when she had it just about off, he closed his mouth and shifted his position. Instantly she ceased moving, and held her breath, but let it out again with a sigh of silent relief when he settled back into sleep.

Slipping the remaining part off from around his neck she checked the screens once more, then headed for the door, unlocking it with his keycard. Making quick work of her route she slipped through doors using the guard's access card, and ducked into side hallways whenever someone came by. Pausing in one of the empty hallways, she pulled out her notebook to check her map before opening the next door.

Seeing she was right on track she closed it again and went to return it to her waistband. However, before she could do so, an arm grabbed hers from behind, and a metal hand clamped over her mouth. Before she could let out a startled gasp, her assailant was already pulling her into a room, his grip too strong for her to wriggle free. Once inside he removed his hand from her mouth but didn't release his grip on her arm.

Looking up with wide eyes, she saw a man dressed in black, with his long unkempt brown hair hanging in his face. "You shouldn't be here Fox." He said gruffly, and she felt his intense glare piercing into her. "What's this?" He asked when she didn't respond, looking at the notebook in her hand. "And this?" He said motioning to the access card in her other hand.

Her heart beat rapidly, panic coursing through her. She hadn't planned on meeting anyone along the way, and with her window of opportunity dwindling, she knew she would soon lose her chance of ever being free. "Please-" She whispered breathlessly, but he had already yanked the objects from her hands and she knew he would put the pieces together pretty quickly.

"You're a traitor!" He exclaimed through gritted teeth.

She shook her head and tried to defend herself, "No, I—"

He silenced her by pushing her against the wall with his metal hand around her throat. She inhaled sharply, unable to keep herself from flinching. Seeing that explaining herself was not going to get her anywhere, she quickly searched for a different approach.

"They call you the Winter Soldier, right?" She asked, and his countenance changed slightly. She didn't remember much, but she did however, remember this bit of information. "And I'm Little Fox, you said so yourself." She continued, somewhat breathlessly.

"So you know what I can do." She said, placing her hand on the exposed portion of his neck. He flinched at her touch and pulled away and she lowered her hand back to her side. He clenched his jaw, and looked like he was thinking hard for a few moments before he begrudgingly released his grip.

Knowing time was still of the essence, she held out her hand for her things, but he refused to give them back. "Look, that book has the only answers I have." She said, "They call me Little Fox, but before that, before all of this I was someone else." She said pleadingly, knowing that his mind had probably been as meddled with as her own, but desperately hoping that something would reach the person inside, not just the machine they had made him on the outside.

"I had a family, I had a life. I have to get out of here, I don't have a choice." She said, but his response was to only frown back at her. "They do things to us here, they mess with our minds. They force us to forget who we are, you're probably someone else too!" She pleaded. He paced the room, flipping through the journal, but he didn't respond.

"Please," She breathed, "you have to help me, this is my only chance. He stopped his pacing and looked into her eyes. What she was saying sounded ridiculous, and everything he knew told him he should just march her back out that door and alert security. However, there was something in her eyes that just wouldn't let him do it, and she seemed so sincere, that for some reason he wanted to believe her.

"What do you need?" He asked gruffly, handing her back the lanyard and notebook. For a moment she just stared at him silently, her mouth halfway open. "Y—you're going to help me?" She asked breathlessly, having not expected him to actually do so. He simply continued to glare at her, but knowing she probably only had a few minutes before someone would realize she was missing, she hurriedly shook the look from her face and continued.

"I need to get to the reset room, and wipe myself. It's the room straight across the hall, I was almost there when you grabbed me." She explained. He squinted his eyes, and she could tell he didn't understand her plan. "It's the only way to deactivate the signal." She said, pulling the collar of her shirt down to show the glowing red light at the base of the back of her neck. "Then I just get the hell out of here."

"What do you do once you're out?" He asked.

"I don't know." She said shrugging, "Get as far away as I can. Anything is better than staying."

He considered her words a moment before nodding. With a small smile she nodded back. "Good, let's go." Opening the door, she peered into the hallway cautiously before stepping out, the man following behind her. Quickly she scampered across the hallway and pulled out the keycard to unlock it.

"Hey!" A voice echoed from down the hallway where a guard appeared, drawing his gun. She slid the card a second time, and a third, but each time it failed to give them access. "Come on, work with me here!" She mumbled angrily and the man approached. The Winter Soldier, however, took care of him easily, and with a few calculated movements, the guard lay motionless on the floor.

Finally, the card scanner beeped and a green light appeared, showing that the door was unlocked, and she breathed a quick sigh of relief before pushing it open and pulling him in behind her. In the middle of the room sat a chair with dozens of cords and wires around it, and beside it was a computer. Opening the notebook, she flipped through until she found the page containing the instructions she needed. Quickly she punched in the codes and found the proper program to run, making the necessary modifications needed.

Nervously she climbed into the chair and attached wires where they needed to go. Next to her, the Winter Soldier had grabbed the pen next to the computer and was writing a note on her arm so that she would know what to do when she woke back up. After turning her head to read it she asked, "You're not coming? You deserve to get out as much as I do, we can go together."

He shook his head and put the cap back on the pen. "It won't be long before they know something's up if they haven't already. With that dead guard out there, they aren't going to miss you slipping out. You've got no chance unless you've got someone to slow them down until you can get out. I'll make sure they don't find this." He said, holding the notebook.

She wanted to protest, but she couldn't deny that everything he was saying was true. She laid back in the chair and said sincerely, "I'll come back, I'll get you out. I don't know how but I will. I promise." He didn't say anything, but simply pressed the button which made the process begin and the last thing she saw before blacking out from the pain was his metal arm slamming the door shut as he rushed back out into the hall.

Slowly she blinked her eyes open to the strange room around her, and looked around to see wires protruding from the chair she was sitting in, and the words 'procedure complete' glowing on the computer screen. Confused, she hurriedly started yanking off the wires, freezing when she saw a single word written on her forearm, 'RUN'. She stared at it a moment, then jumped when she heard a gunshot ring out from outside the room.

Breathing rapidly she pulled off the remaining wires and scrambled out of the chair. Nervously peering out the doorway she saw the coast was clear and darted out, running as quickly as she could. She wasn't sure which way she was supposed to go, or even where she was, but she heard more gunshots back the way she had come so she kept running forward. She down again at her arm, reading it once again, and decided she agreed. She wanted out of whatever this place was that she was in.

Adrenaline coursing through her, she continued to run as fast as her feet would carry her, until to her surprise she burst through a doorway to stumble into several inches of snow. Somehow in her panic and confusion, she had managed to find a way out and she nearly laughed at her luck. Still wanting to be as far away as possible, she picked herself back up off the ground and ran as fast as she could away from the compound and towards the line of trees a few hundred feet away.

With all the energy inside her, she barely even felt the cold snow under her bare feet. Nearing the tree line, she gasped for air, her lungs burning from the running combined with the cold air. Just as she was approaching the cover of the trees, a loud explosion boomed behind her, the force knocking her to the ground, sprawling. She glanced behind for a few seconds to see smoke escaping and debris scattered around.

Still not understanding anything that was happening to her, she scrambled to her feet and ran through the forest, ignoring the branches that would scrape her arms and legs. After running for some time, and her gasps for air turning into confused sobs, she finally reached the edge of the forest and found a road that she followed until she could see the lights of a city far up ahead. Exhausted, and with a pounding headache from where she had hit it when she was thrown to the ground by the explosion, she plodded on through blurred vision until she couldn't go any farther and fell to the ground on the side of the road. In the distance she could hear the sound of a car approaching, and she hoped desperately with every ounce of energy she had left, that it wasn't the same people she had just ran away from.


	19. Chapter 19

The steady beep of a heart monitor greeted Jane as she opened her eyelids to find herself lying on her side on one of the beds in the medical bay. Blinking a few times to focus her vision she quickly sorted through her thoughts to re-orient herself. Piecing things together, she soon realized where she was. "Bucky." She breathed softly. She had to get to him, and right away.

Hurriedly she sat up, but was stopped when she felt a tug at her back. Reaching back she felt a group of wires that someone had managed to attach into her cybernetic spine. Without any semblance of caution she yanked them out, and shoved them off the other side of the bed. Standing up she felt a wave of nausea sweep over her, but within a few seconds it passed.

Quickly she glanced around through the glass walls, but nobody seemed to be around. Jane pulled off the heart rate sensor, followed by the IV in her arm. Finally unattached from everything she silently padded out of the room and into the hallway.

At each room and corridor, she peeked her head around, hoping to find Bucky. But each time finding no one. Finally, approaching Coulson's office she could hear voices coming from inside and she knew he had to be in there.

Conversation abruptly hushed, and everyone turned to see a wide eyed and frantic Jane bursting through the door. "Jane, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the med bay with Skye and FitzSimmons." Coulson said smoothly, but tersely.

"I—" She started, but didn't finish. Her eyes fervently scanned the room, and she saw Bobbi, Hunter, and Mack gathered together, she assumed discussing her display earlier. In the center of the room, Coulson, May and Trip were gathered near Coulson's desk, and May slowly turned off the tablet she was holding and lowered it to her side. Finally, her eyes reached the other side of the room and she saw Bucky, who was sitting on a windowsill with one leg propped up and the other hanging down. His demeanor seemed far away and distant, but a look of confusion had started to replace it when he saw Jane entering the room in a flurry of motion.

"You should sit down." Trip said, as he moved towards her to help. A few of the others went to say something, but she wasn't paying attention to any of them. Making a beeline towards Bucky she scrambled past the others despite their efforts to stop her.

"Bucky." She breathed as she approached him. Pinching his eyebrows together in confusion he moved from where he was and stood up. "Bucky, you have to remember me." She said earnestly after running up to him.

Bucky grabbed her arms, trying to calm her down. His face was a mix of confusion and concern. "Jay, what are you talking about, of course I remember you!" The others stayed back a few feet, unsure of what to do.

"No, you have to think back, to when you were in HYDRA. When you raided an Italian weapons warehouse. Or the blockade with Redman and Cooper. Kazakhstan, Peru, or Bolivia, any of those!" Jane barely stopped to take a breath, and continued rattling off names of things that Bucky didn't understand. "Do you remember Project Troyer? Stormlight? Mayfleet? Doesn't Little Fox mean anything to you?" With each reference that Bucky wasn't getting, Jane's anxiety seemed to rise and her voice grew more frantic.

"Three and a half years ago you were in a facility in Maine. It was snowing outside, and you had the journal! Please tell me you remember at least that!" Bucky looked away, trying to make sense of everything she was spouting at him. "Bitte sagen Sie mir, Sie an mich erinnern! Sagen Sie mir, es war kein Traum!" She pleaded desperately.

The rest of the team turned to each other, all wondering why Jane had suddenly slipped into speaking German. Jane looked near to tears as she gazed desperately at Bucky who was still deep in thought. Finally she let go of his shirt sleeve that she had been clinging to and let her hand drop to her side.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed." May said gently as she laid her hand on Jane's shoulder and started to turn her towards the door. Feeling defeated, Jane let May guide her.

"Lou?" Bucky said softly as they turned away. The crease between his eyebrows had grown deeper and he squinted at her as though not believing what he was seeing.

Jane turned her head slowly back to him, and May stopped in her tracks. "Y-You remember me?" Jane stammered in disbelief. His face slowly began to relax and he shook his head looking for words to say. A sheepish smile of relief lit up her face and a weight seemed to lift off her shoulders.

"Yeah, so uh, anyone going to explain what the hell just happened?" Hunter piped up from where he was standing. Before anyone could give him an answer, however, the door once again flung open, and a worried Simmons entered.

"Oh thank heavens." She exclaimed breathlessly when her eyes landed on Jane whose hand was resting on Bucky's forearm. "We've been looking for you everywhere; you scared us half to death!"

Jane was still preoccupied with the fact that Bucky had remembered her, and she quickly turned to resume talking with him in hushed tones, seemingly disregarding Simmons's concern. A few seconds later, Fitz and Skye tumbled through the doorway where Simmons had entered just previously.

"I call dibs on not being the watch dog next time." Skye said as she put her hands on her hips trying to catch her breath.

"Did you two get the signal blocked before she woke up?" Coulson asked, Jane and Bucky paying no mind.

"We did, though I can't say it was the easiest thing to do." Skye answered, and Fitz let out a guffaw next to her. "But I did get a chance to trace it back to its source first, it was HYDRA. If someone was watching for that signal to pop up, they would've been able to track it just as easily." She said worriedly.

"Let's hope they weren't then." Coulson said, seemingly un-phased. "Still, we should stick with the Bus for a while just to be sure." He added.

"Sir, before we do that." Simmons interjected. "I'd like to do a few more tests with the equipment here."

May stepped closer to the group. "Why, did you find something?" She asked with a hint of apprehension.

Simmons looked over her shoulder at Jane and Bucky who were conversing quickly, their voices lowered. "It's the serum markers from the bloodwork." She said hesitantly. Simmons's curiosity had certainly been peaked when she had taken a look at the results, however she couldn't help feeling like the only answers she would find were ones she didn't want to hear. "The trace amounts in the earlier samples you gave me show that it was dormant like you said, but the readings I'm getting now are saying something entirely different." Simmons lowered her voiced and leaned in. "I think it's active now."

Bobbi, Mack, Hunter and Trip who had been listening in on the conversation all looked at each other, each wondering what exactly that meant for the team going forward. Coulson was calm and looked thoughtful for a moment before answering plainly, "I suppose that would make sense."

Simmons noticed a hush had fallen behind her and she turned quickly to see Jane looking intently at her, her forehead wrinkled, and mouth partially open. Slowly she let her hand drop away from Bucky and she moved a few steps towards the rest of the team. "Y—you were talking about the serum." She stammered. When Simmons only looked back silently with large eyes, she continued, "How did you know about that?" She asked, pausing halfway between Bucky and the rest of the group.

Simmons flashed a nervous smile, hoping it would help. "W—we didn't know what was wrong with you, running a blood test was simply routine."

"No I don't mean that." Jane said, waving her hand. "I mean before— before any of this. You said previous samples."

Simmons looked over to Coulson, whose mouth was pressed into a thin line, then back to Jane. "W-well, I—" She said, searching for words that didn't come.

"You said the serum was dormant before. Don't lie to me, we all heard you just say it." Jane said, her voice rising. Simmons stammered, trying to formulate a reply that wouldn't put her in deeper hot water. "How long did you know?" She asked, turning to Coulson. Her voice quavered ever so slightly, and May thought she saw a twinge of hurt flash in Jane's eyes. "Don't tell me you've known all along." Coulson affirmed her suspicions when he didn't reply and only looked at her unblinking, with his arms crossed.

"You did didn't you." She said with an air of disbelief, her face dropping. "You've known this whole time that I've had the Super Soldier serum in my blood and you never bothered to tell me?" She exclaimed, unable to hide the betrayal she felt. "All that time that I was hopelessly looking for an answer to who I was, and time after time you kept telling me they hadn't found anything." She felt hot tears pushing at her eyes but she forced them to stay contained.

"How could you keep that from me? How could you just leave me like that?" Coulson still didn't give her an explanation and she glanced at the faces of the other team members. Bobbi and Hunter looked at each other, and Fitz looked at the floor, yet the expressions of shock or at least mild surprise that Jane expected to see were missing. Her stomach dropped sickeningly when she realized why. Slowly turning back to Bucky she saw him look down at his feet, unable to hold her gaze.

"Don't tell me you knew too." She pleaded, her voice cracking. She blinked her eyelids quickly in a last ditch attempt to keep the tears from spilling out.

"I promise I didn't know until a few minutes ago, Lou. Coulson only told us a little while before you come in." Bucky said sincerely. She didn't look any more relieved at his words, and he wished there was a way he could convince her he was telling the truth.

"When I came in here," She said, making her voice even again, "you looked at me strange, almost like you were afraid of me."

Bucky let out a sharp breath and attempted to reply, "You chanted 'hail hydra' while you convulsed on the floor, and then your back was lit up like crazy. What was I supposed to think when they told me you have some version of the serum in you?" He said defensively.

"That I'm some sort of HYDRA spy, apparently!" She exclaimed, spinning around to face the rest of the team. She wasn't necessarily mad at Bucky, the points he had made were very true and she couldn't hold his cautiousness against him. She was, however, angry with Coulson, and Simmons, and anyone else who had known this secret that she was apparently not privy to. She wondered how many people knew. May? Tony? The L7 doctors at least, surely. She had been searching down what she had thought was a dead end, looking for answers, meanwhile so many people had held the answer right inside their heads and none of them had ever bothered to help her out.

"I can't say the thought never crossed my mind." Coulson said, "But it wasn't the only possible explanation. For a time we entertained the theory that you had been a subject of the Centipede trials."

She let out a sharp laugh, "Ha! And how exactly is that any better?" Behind them, the four gathered in the background slowly moved to the side, hoping to distance themselves from the inevitable argument that was going to ensue.

"You have to admit, there are a lot of similarities in the tech." Simmons said, trying to help the situation. The only response she received, however, was a glare of indignation.

"We wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, but the fact of the matter was we simply didn't know." Phil said, raising his hand to calm her.

She just shook her head at him. The more she thought about the whole situation, the more the anger and frustration bubbled within her. "So when you said you wanted Bucky and I to stick with you and the team so that you could get any information he provided immediately, that wasn't entirely true was it? You wanted us here so you could watch me, keep an eye on me." She said, feeling the warmth rise in her cheeks.

"And you," she continued, looking at Simmons, "paying such attention to my physical well-being. You weren't just concerned for my health were you? You were trying to get information, you were spying on me!"

Simmons shifted uncomfortably, "I don't think I would put it quite that way." She said nervously. "It wasn't as bad as all that, honest."

"There were a variety of reasons for bringing you two on with the team." Coulson chimed in. "But what's important right now, is that you tell us everything you know. You've clearly had a revelation and time could very well be of the essence right now."

Jane raised her eyebrows as though challenging his statement. "You're serious?" She asked with a laugh. "You expect me to trust you, to trust any of you after this?" She spat in a flurry.

"Lou, just take it easy." Bucky said softly behind her. He placed a hand on her arm and she responded by yanking it free.

"Can't you see how ridiculous this is?" She asked, her jaw set. "They want me to give them all the information they need, then they're just going to lock me up or treat me like a child the way they do you." She moved to lunge at Simmons, but Bucky was quicker and soon had a firm grasp, holding her back.

"Her name is Lucy." Bucky said calmly, still holding her as she squirmed. "Lucy Vonnegut."

"Hey!" She shouted as she struggled to turn to face him.

"She was one of HYDRA's test subjects, similar to myself." He continued, ignoring her objections. "She was brought in before I was." Across the room each member of the team stood attentive to Bucky's words. A few of them exchanged glances when they realized his words meant Jane was from an entirely different time period, just as he was.

Lucy glared up at him, seething. "Stop it Bucky!" Angrily she fought to wriggle her arm free and shoved her palm sharply into the center of his chest and shoved him backwards. "Stop talking this instant!"

Bucky let out an agitated sigh and tried to stay calm. "These people aren't your enemies." He said, reaching for her again.

"The hell they aren't!" She retorted. "They lied to me for years, that doesn't exactly sound like a friend to me!"

Skye hooked her arm through Simmons's and they both stepped back a pace or two. "They did what they thought was best, and sure it may not have ended up going smoothly, but they aren't the ones you should be mad at right now."

"And who exactly should I be mad at?" She snapped.

"HYDRA." He answered simply. "They're the ones who deserve to be blamed, not Coulson, not Simmons, just HYDRA." He watched as his words registered and slowly her expression started to change. He waited a moment longer to give her a chance to retaliate, but her slew of angry words, it seemed, had run dry.

When he felt confident she was not going to lash out at him anymore, Bucky continued. "They nicknamed her 'Little Fox' because she was always sneaking out behind their backs without them knowing. They eventually realized they could use that for their advantage when they sent her out on missions."

"And my hair." Lucy mumbled from the seat she had taken a few feet from him, feeling defeated.

Bucky looked over at her and commented with a faint smile, "Yes, and because of her hair. It used to be a lot brighter back then." He glanced at her now almost brown hair, the brilliant red of her youth having faded significantly. It now rested haphazardly in a limp ponytail, still a mess from when they had been training earlier. Memories of being on mission with her decades prior flashed in Bucky's mind, her steely look of determination nodding to him as they stormed an ammunitions warehouse. Quickly he forced the images away, and focused only on the downcast and dejected expression displayed across her face before him.

"So she was trained as an assassin like you were?" May asked.

Bucky hesitated, giving Lucy the opportunity to answer, but she only kept her gaze down and pulled a knee to her chest. "Yes, and no." Bucky finally answered, and the others gave him questioning glances. "She was trained, yes, but not quite in the way I was." Bucky could see that Lucy was fighting her emotions and tears were pushing at her eyes. He wished he didn't have to continue explaining, knowing what it was doing to her, bringing everything back up, but he also knew it was a fact that the team needed to know.

Sighing, he continued. "Like I said, she was brought in by HYDRA before I was, as so the serum she received was an earlier version than the one I got." Bucky paused, not entirely sure how to continue. For one, the subject was a touchy one to begin with, but the fact also remained that he still had gaps in his memory and he didn't want to give false info simply because he couldn't remember every detail.

"After the adverse reaction Schmidt had to the serum, they had to take a few steps back and try to perfect each aspect of the serum before combining it into a complete one again." Lucy said, though still not looking up. Bucky looked over, surprised that she had spoken up, but also glad inside.

"At the time when they gave it to me, they were working on the healing and regenerative properties of it." The room was uncomfortably silent as she paused between sentences. "So I don't have the super strength, but I can heal a lot faster than the average person."

"So why bother attaching hardware?" Skye asked tentatively.

Lucy finally looked up, and rested her chin on her knee. "After they administered the serum, everything seemed to be going smoothly, until everything started becoming more and more unstable, and every time my body attempted to repair itself, it did precisely the opposite and it would attack itself to the point of nearly killing me."

Lucy took a long breath in and exhaled slowly. "They were forced to devise a solution, which consisted of a device to regulate the flow of the serum in my bloodstream that keeps it working as they had originally intended. What they hadn't planned on, however, was the added abilities their device had granted me."

Lucy hugged her arms around her sides and leaned against her knee. Bucky's heart dropped, knowing what was coming next. "I don't just heal quickly, but I can also transfer my energy to another individual as long as I have skin contact with them—thus healing them while taking on their injuries etc." She saw out of the corner of her eye the shock and awe spreading around the room. Bucky was the only one not fazed by her words, but she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze. "I can also transfer the opposite way as well." She said, willing her voice to remain steady. "But the process isn't very stable, and I can't control how much energy I take from them. I've never been able to do it without them—" Her voice cut off, and she couldn't force the last few words out.

A soft murmur spread across the room but the team quickly hushed themselves once more. Bucky offered to rest a hand gently on her shoulder, but she shied away at his touch and he didn't try a second time. The room was thick with silence for several moments before Coulson finally spoke up.

"Why don't you give us a minute?" He said, referring to the rest of the team who were all listening and observing closely.

Skye protested, "But sir, we—"

"Now." May said, in a tone more stern than Coulson's had been. Sky opened her mouth to protest again, then decided against it and snapped it back shut. Begrudgingly she let out a sigh and turned for the door. The rest of the team aside from May, Coulson, Lucy and Bucky followed in Skye's steps, though none of them were any more pleased with their orders than she had been.

"So tell me." Coulson said when the door latched behind the exiting team members. "What exactly happened in Maine before we found you, how did you escape?" Lucy took a deep breath and compartmentalized all her emotions and sent them to the back of her mind. It was one of the very few skills she was actually grateful that HYDRA had taught her. Having cleared her mind she stood and gave Coulson and May a detailed description of her escape from the HYDRA facility.

Phil said nothing right away when Lucy finished, but simply nodded while looking thoughtful. "May, we're going to need to get the coordinates locked in, and everybody ready." He finally said, his voice even and serious, but his face showing no other signs of emotion.

"Already on it, sir." May replied, her eyes already glued to the screen in her hands. Lucy glanced at Bucky for a second and saw hints of the faraway look returning to his eyes. She quickly averted her gaze and looked at the wall across from her. There was no doubt in her mind that this sudden excavation of memories and events was affecting Bucky, but she wasn't going to let herself think about it. Not now.

"Wheels up in two hours." Coulson said, and Lucy nodded in affirmation. "You'd best gather everything you need, we may not be stopping back to base for some time." With that statement, Coulson and May left the room, leaving only Lucy and Bucky in permeating silence.

Lucy didn't say a word, but simply moved across the room to retrieve one of the laptops somebody had left on one of the side tables. Holding it with one hand and typing in her login credentials with the other she moved it to an empty space on the counter, her back turned to Bucky. The welcome screen soon popped up and she navigated around until she found what she was looking for.

"Do you want to talk about what just happened?" Bucky asked tentatively from behind her.

"What is there to talk about?" She answered plainly, not looking up from her screen.

Bucky paused a moment, then replied, "So you're just going to pretend like that was all no big deal?" Lucy ignored his question and typed away on the keyboard. "I know what you're doing, and I'm telling you, it's not going to make things any better. Believe me, I would know."

"I'm gathering all the information that we can use on the HYDRA base." Lucy replied. "You heard Coulson, there's no time to spare. Though I don't see why my research is of such concern to you."

Bucky let out a small sigh. He'd forgotten how stubborn and frustrating she could be when she chose to. "You're acting like none of this is affecting you, that's what you're doing." He said. "You know I'm not lying when I say I understand what it's like seeing the past play out before your eyes. And that I know what it's like for that past to be something you wish you could forget. When it's your own hands doing the acts. I know what that does to a person's mind." He paused, giving her a chance to reply, one which she did not take.

"But you didn't just remember one thing, or a few events." He said and then swallowed slowly. "You remembered everything, every mission, every detail, every year of your life. I know I'm right, I could see it in your eyes, and it was obvious in the way you spoke." Lucy remained silent, still focused on her screen as he continued. "You remembered things that haven't even come back to me yet, and I can't even imagine what that's doing to you right now. The thought worries me, Lou."

Her lack of response was really starting to get on his nerves now and he moved a few steps closer. "You can't just push it out and expect it to go away. It's going to keep coming back, and it's never going to stop until you deal with it." He put his arm on her shoulder, and forced her to turn towards him, "Just talk to me—"

The words evaporated in his mouth when his gaze landed on the silent tears that had already spilled over her cheeks. "Lou, I—" He said softly, his eyes sincere.

"You don't get it." She said, her voice quiet and almost hoarse. She wiped a tear away absently with her hand. "I killed people Bucky, probably hundreds. And for what? So HYDRA could gain a few more allies, or knock out another threat to their success?"

"I do get it." He replied. He hated to see her in turmoil, but he was also getting frustrated with her ongoing ignorance of his ability to relate. If anyone knew what she was going through it was him, yet she refused to accept any help he offered.

Lucy shook her head. She knew he was right, but somehow she just felt like she was entirely alone and that there was absolutely no one who could understand what it was like living in her mind. "It's just—I thought I was a good person. But now it's like everything I thought was real, and all the things I thought I was have changed. The things I've done, I can't come back from that Bucky, I can never redeem myself."

Bucky put his arm around her shoulder, and this time she didn't object. He wasn't quite sure what to say, so he simply pulled her in to his chest. "I'm not telling you I've got this whole thing figured out, but just don't give up just yet, okay?" He said, feeling her body start to tremble with the force of her sobs that she could no longer succeed to contain. "Don't give up on yourself, alright?"

Lucy tried to nod, her faced pressed deep into his shirt. Bucky closed his eyes, his arms wrapped tight around her. She had always been the strong one, getting him through his episodes of mental instability. Now it looked as though the roles were going to be reversed, and he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that.

It wasn't that he considered himself a weak person, but it was rather the mere fact that he wasn't the one who was good at this sort of thing, she was. She had the experience with this type of thing. All he knew was what she had told him, and he could only hope he would be able to see her through this in one piece.


	20. Chapter 20

_July 1947_

 _Nimes, France_

"Sir, I swear, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Lucy said frantically as she strained against the ropes around her wrists, holding her to the chair. "Please just let me go!"

"Shut up." The man standing over her said angrily, his French accent thick. "Your little show isn't fooling anyone, just give it up." Lifting the gun in his hand he struck her across the head, the blunt metal tearing into her skin. Lucy let out a squeak of shock, but said no more. The man sighed in satisfaction, glad he had finally gotten her to shut up. "Maudeaux will be here soon. Then he can deal with you and I won't have to listen to your whining anymore." He said with a huff.

Her head rang with the force from the impact and she blinked several times to try and make the feeling pass. She watched through pieces of hair that had fallen into her face as the man turned to converse with the other two men who were with him. She felt a small trickle of blood seeping from her hairline and down her forehead, but it didn't worry her. Silently she resumed picking at her restraints behind the back of the chair.

The man paced slowly back and forth across the room, and Lucy thought he looked incredibly impatient. After a few minutes he finally stopped, and retrieved a cigarette from the breast pocket of his suit. After getting a light from one of his accomplices, he drew a long breath, held it for a moment, and then let it out. The smoke curled in the air in front of his face a second before drifting up slowly towards the ceiling.

The warehouse had grown hot in the sweltering summer sun and Lucy felt small beads of sweat starting to break out across her chest. The men, however, seemed to be doing worse than she was. The one standing by the door shifted his stance and dabbed his forehead with a handkerchief. The man with the gun still in his hand was growing increasingly agitated and was angrily pulling off his suit jacket in an attempt to cool off. Lucy couldn't help herself and smiled slightly.

"You think this is fun don't you?" He barked, stepping within a few inches of her. She breathed in sharply and produced the most convincing nervous and startled expression she could muster. "Enjoy it while you can." He said with a smirk. He took another long puff of the cigarette and leaned over until his face was only a few inches from hers. "Because boss likes to have fun of his own and it doesn't usually involve your smile." He said, letting the smoke billow around her face, the smell invading her nostrils.

She turned away, willing herself not to give him the satisfaction of coughing. After a moment she looked up again, glaring at him, not saying a word. "Maybe I should get things started early, yes?" He said eyeing the cigarette in his hand. "This is for making me chase you." He said seconds before jamming the burning end into the side of her exposed arm.

Instinctively she tried to pull away, but the chair left her attempts in vain. "Defiant are we?" He asked with a chuckle when she didn't scream out in agony, but rather simply gritted her teeth tightly, glaring at him the entire time.

"What on earth are you doing?" A voice shouted from the doorway. Another man in a finely pressed suit entered, smoking cigarette in hand. Lucy watched as four more armed men filed in silently behind him. Eight, she mentally counted in her head. It was quite a few, but she wasn't nervous yet.

"Claude, I asked you a question." He said, strolling closer. The man standing over her quickly dropped the cigarette in his hand and let it fall to the floor. Standing back up he stammered a reply, "I—I uh, was just getting things started for you, Maudeaux." He finished with a nervous laugh.

"Did I ask you to do this?" He asked glancing to the burn marks on Lucy's arm that would soon become a blister. Claude swallowed hard and shook his head. "What did I ask you to do?" He asked, as though further proving his point. He lifted his cigarette calmly to his lips as Claude hung his head and backed up several steps.

"Please sir!" She pleaded to this new man entering. "I promise I don't know anything, I was just looking for my friend and got lost, honest!"

"Hm, a Deutscher?" The man named Maudeaux muttered thoughtfully to himself upon hearing her accent. "So what's a young girl like yourself doing in these parts all alone?" He asked smoothly, directing his question towards her.

"I—I'm visiting my cousins for the summer." She said feigning a frightened exterior. She even surprised herself by producing a few tears. "I left with Marie to go to the docks and I stopped to pet one of the kittens on the street and when I looked up she was already gone! I looked all over for her but I guess she hadn't realized I wasn't with her. She does that sometimes, she starts talking and just keeps going and going and doesn't realize no one's actually listening. Well anyway, I was trying to find her when I wound up in here. I wasn't trying to steal anything I promise!" Between the speed of her explanation and the sputtering of her hyperventilated tears, her words were nearly unintelligible. Maudeaux closed his eyes and rested his chin on his hand until she finished.

"She's lying!" Claude bellowed from where he stood. "She's making it all up, she's nothing but a little scamp!" Lucy wished she could laugh out loud as Claude danced around in his outrage.

"Claude, you make a downright fool of yourself, sit down." Maudeax said, his back to her. Lucy had to bite her lip to keep from making a noise. Claude's face turned several shades redder and she found it quite amusing. However, when Maudeaux spun back around to face her she quickly snapped back into character.

"So tell me, darling, do you know who I am?" Maudeaux asked, his voice rich with the same suave confidence that shone in his demeanor.

"I—uh, no sir." She replied, looking up at him with large, round eyes. "Am I supposed to?"

Maudeaux chuckled, "No not at all." Leaning in closer her continued, "You see, I'm afraid my men here can be a bit on the paranoid side sometimes." Waving one of his men over, Maudeaux directed him to untie the restraints from her feet. "I apologize for all this, I really should teach them some manners; this is no way to treat a lady."

Lucy breathed a sigh of relief and stretched her ankles one at a time as each were unbound. "But sir, you can't possibly—" Claude exclaimed incredulously.

Maudeaux closed his eyes with a sigh before cutting him off. "She's just a child." He said, his exasperation beginning to show. "Hardly a teenager. You really think she's part of an elite thieving ring? How many fifteen year olds do you know who are into seventeenth century art?"

Claude opened his mouth to protest, "But—"

"No, I'm done listening to you and your nonsense. Look at her, she's harmless." Maudeaux interjected.

Claude's shoulders dropped. He looked as if he wanted to say more, but was debating himself whether or not to keep quiet. "So you're just going to let her go?" He asked before Maudeaux had a chance to get back to Lucy. His self-restraint, it seemed, had not succeeded. "You can't possibly think you can just let her go like this!"

"Who exactly is in charge here?" Maudeaux asked. Lucy admired the way he never raised his voice or snapped at Claude. Somehow he always managed to remain calm and collected. "Oh that's right, I am." He finally said, answering his own question when Claude didn't. "And that means I get to make the decisions, and you get to follow them."

"But you didn't see the way she ran when she found out we saw her!" Claude pleaded. Maudeaux seemed amazed at Claude's persistence, but nonetheless annoyed. Turning towards the pleading Frenchman, Maudeaux crossed him arms, his expression one of disapproval. "And look!" He continued, motioning towards Lucy's arm. "You saw with your own eyes that was burned a minute ago!"

The man who had untied her feet was now working on her wrists, but at Claude's words he paused. Lines formed on Maudeaux's forehead and he turned quickly to see what Claude was referring to. "Well I'll be—" He muttered, as he saw that the marks were in fact gone. Nothing remained, but the black of the cigarette ash, not even a scar.

Lucy scanned quickly around the room and saw the familiar figure she was searching for, waiting at one of the large, grimy windows, standing on the roof outside. The corner of her mouth twitched upwards, and she carefully slipped her hands from the remaining restraints around her wrists, but kept them in place behind the chair. Maudeaux was now glancing up to her forehead, the cut from where Claude had hit her with the gun had now smoothed over as though nothing had happened. Maudeaux opened his mouth to say something, but Lucy had already taken the moment for herself.

Before Maudeaux could get a word through his lips, she had swung her arms around from behind her and had clasped them on either side of his face. A look of shock spread across his face, a contrast from the calm demeanor that was usually present. A shot rang out through the warehouse, and she watched through her peripheral vision as one of the guards fell, then two more. The rest of the men, including Claude, drew their weapons and looked around frantically to find where the shots had come from.

Lucy continued to hold the man's face in her hands as he stared back at her wide eyed. Maudeaux's arms and legs felt paralyzed and his brain struggled to comprehend what was happening. "You should've trusted Claude." She said with a smile, her head cocked to the side. He tried to reply, but all that came out were breathless gasps for air. After a few moments of trembling, Maudeaux's face finally went slack and Lucy released her grip, letting his body slump to the floor, lifeless.

She looked up to see Claude watching horrified as his boss collapsed in a heap before him. "Y-y-you're—" Claude stammered, trying to form words.

"Better watch your back." Lucy said with a smirk, and seconds later his eyes widened as a blade slid sickeningly into his back. Standing behind him, Bucky nodded to Lucy before retrieving the knife and handing it to Lucy. Once she had it securely in her hand, he turned wordlessly to take on two of the remaining men who were standing together, bolstering up the courage they had left.

Lucy stepped over towards Claude who was kneeling and holding his abdomen where he had been stabbed. "Guess you should've picked a better boss. Perhaps one who actually believes you." She said, peering down at him, drops of blood still dripping off the blade in her hand. Claude looked up tentatively, fear in his eyes. "No, please—" He breathed as she reached her hand towards him. Lucy ignored his pleas and calmly laid her hand on the exposed area of his neck and watched with pleasure as his sputtering slowed and his eyes fell shut. Lucy closed her own eyes, feeling the surge of energy flowing through her.

Within a few moments the feeling passed and she opened her eyes again to see Bucky nearly finished with the two men he was currently occupied with. Flipping the knife a few times in her hand a few times she took aim at one of the remaining men and let it fly from her fingertips. The weapon quickly found its target and the man let out a groan before falling, his hand flying to his thigh where the blade had landed.

To her left she saw another charging at her, his hand gun raised. Nonchalantly she turned towards him and waited for him to take his shot. When he was only a few steps away he finally let the bullet fly from his gun. Lucy merely sighed as it tore into her chest. Stunned by her seeming indifference to the bullet, the man hurriedly tried to backpedal, but the redhead was already upon him, her hand gripping his jaw.

"Please, I have a family!" He said in a last plea for his life. Un-persuaded by his cries she continued, feeling the flow of energy from the man's body into her own. With eyes full of horror the man watched as the bullet hole slowly disappeared from Lucy's chest, and then groaned in agony as it reappeared on his own. Blood soon seeped through the man's shirt and he fell away from Lucy's hand onto the floor. Putting her hands on her hips she took a deep breath and spun on her heel to see Bucky just finishing off the man with the knife in his thigh.

Lucy waited as he crossed the room to where she was standing, pausing to retrieve an object from Maudeaux's jacket. Lucy held out her hand as Bucky approached her and he wordlessly dropped the object into her outstretched palm. It was a light of some kind and it had a switch on the back. She turned it around in her fingers then commented, "Bit of a pain. All of that just to get Maudeaux here for this."

Bucky just shrugged, and together they headed for the doorway that lead to the vault. Both blinked as they stepped inside the dimly lit room and Lucy felt along the wall until she found the switch. The lights above whirred as they came to life, bathing the room in light. "We've got about an hour before the next round of guards come through to check on things, so we better work fast." She said, but Bucky was already aware of the fact.

Before them stood rows and rows of shelves, all covered with paintings and artwork. Clicking on the handheld light, Lucy went to work waving its purple tinted rays over the back of each frame searching for the one she had been sent to retrieve. Bucky stood by the door, keeping an eye out for any movement.

"What does HYDRA want with some old painting anyway?" She asked after a few minutes.

"They don't send us to ask questions, Fox." Bucky said gruffly from where he stood. "They send us to kill."

* * *

 _Hello everyone again! We've just passed the halfway mark, and I actually just finished up writing the last chapter today so breath a sigh of relief, this story is guaranteed to be complete! *cheers* That being said, don't hesitate to let me know what you think, reviews will definitely get quicker updates!_


	21. Chapter 21

Lucy watched as the orange hues of the sunlight grew more intense with each passing minute. The air was still warm and she felt the fabric of her skirt brushing against her legs in the soft breeze. "That will be $11.58." The figure from inside the food truck said, holding out the foil wrapped food. Bucky reached into his pocket to retrieve the amount, and then traded for the items.

Handing one of the two hamburgers and the takeout box of fries to Lucy, they turned and walked past the line that had formed behind them and headed down the sidewalk. "I still can't believe you convinced Coulson to let us leave the bus." Lucy commented.

Bucky grinned and answered, "I don't think he ever stood a chance. I mean, who could say no to this irresistible face?" Bucky looked at Lucy with the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster and she couldn't help but laugh at his ridiculousness. He laughed along with her, but inside his heart constricted. He missed seeing that smile. Ever since the incident during training she hadn't quite been the same, and he hardly ever got to see her happy. He hated it and he now found himself wishing he could make the moment last forever.

"I think he was feeling bad for letting everyone else get the day off and not us." Bucky said, more seriously.

Lucy shifted the box in her hand and replied, "Still, I don't think he would've said yes if I had been the one to ask." Bucky merely shrugged and watched the cars passing by. A block ahead, Lucy spotted the park they were looking for and the crossed the last stretch of sidewalk in silence. When they arrived they both glanced around the area to see a large grassy area, a few picnic tables by a row of trees, and a playground to the left.

The sun had started to set and the park was empty aside from a group of teenagers playing Frisbee in the grass, and an older couple talking at one of the tables. Seeing that the playground was uninhabited, Lucy suggested the swings.

Bucky shrugged, "Why not." He said with a smile. Lucy felt the wood chips crunch under her shoes as they made their way across the playground to the row of swings. The chains jangled as they eased into the swings that were far too short for their adult legs, and Bucky let out a satisfied sigh as he unwrapped his hamburger and took a bite.

"Everyone seems to be pretty busy these days." Lucy commented as she nibbled on a few of the fries.

Bucky's swing squeaked quietly as he drifted back and forth. "Yeah, they must've found something good in Maine." Bucky could see a familiar expression coming over her face so he added quickly, "I'm sure they'll ask us to help soon. We'll get HYDRA, don't worry."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." She said, pulling at the foil wrapping.

"What do you mean?" Bucky questioned. "May and Coulson are back at the hub right now, rounding up resources."

"Well, I may have took a peek at their files." She answered, almost with a hint of shame.

Bucky chuckled and shook his head, "Of course you did. How'd you manage it this time?" He asked.

Lucy looked up to see a smile on his face and she couldn't help but smirk. "I'd like to take the credit, but I'm not sure I deserve it. Hunter never logs out, it wasn't exactly rocket science." Bucky simply laughed.

"So, spill the beans, what are they working on?" He asked before taking another bite.

"They're not going to help us Buck." She replied quietly, focusing her eyes on her lap.

Bucky swallowed and hesitated a moment in silence before answering, "What, like not at all? Why wouldn't they? They've got as much a problem with HYDRA as we do."

"I don't know." Lucy shrugged. "They got plenty of leads from Maine, but it doesn't look like they're acting on any of it. All I could find was a bunch of stuff related to some 'obelisk'. Whatever that is."

Bucky was thoughtful for a minute. "Well maybe it's something that won't take very long. I'm sure as soon as they're done with whatever it is they'll be able to get back to helping us track down HYDRA agents." He said, trying to stay positive and reassuring.

"But what if they don't?" She asked, unconvinced by his optimism. "What if this isn't just a 'quick mission'. What if they're on this for a long time, meanwhile we're left to just sit around, waiting to be useful. I don't know if I can do that Bucky, I don't think I could live with myself."

Memories from when he had said that same final phrase to her several months earlier rushed into his mind. It had been a particularly bad day in terms of reminiscent flashbacks and he could remember the feeling of absolute emptiness within him. The feeling of having nothing left to give, no more energy to care. She had then told him the story of one of her former patients, Roy, he recalled. It was one of the rare occasions he had ever seen her cry, and she had made him promise to never do to her what Roy had.

Seriously, he replied, "Lou, you're not saying—"

"No, no, I would never." She said quickly, but deep inside she wondered if things had been much different, if she still would've believed that statement. "I just…" She said trailing off.

"Trust me, it's going to work out." Bucky said, not knowing what else to say.

Bucky shrugged, "You're smart, and you're tough. You got me through more than anyone had thought possible, and you never cease to amaze me. If you can do that, I know you can make it through this."

"But that's just it, don't you get it?" She said, her voice cracking just slightly. Bucky just looked at her, his silence telling her that he didn't. "All those things that I told you, that I told everyone else, they were such lies, and I feel like such an incredible idiot for even saying them. How could I think I was doing them any good? That I was doing you any good? All those times I thought I was sincere, but now I can see all I was doing was giving them false hope."

"Lou, it wasn't false hope." Bucky said in protest, but she wouldn't look up to meet his eyes.

Lucy simply shook her head, "I was such an idiot for thinking I understood, that I could relate to their pain. I didn't know anything about the subject! I just kept telling them that 'everything would be okay', and that 'it just took time', but what did I know? I'd never experienced anything like what they've been through, or what you have for that matter. The worst part is that now I have, and now I can see how utterly ridiculous everything I said was. I'm really sorry Bucky, honestly and sincerely I am."

"For what? For helping me?" Bucky asked incredulously. "Lou, I don't know where this is coming from, but you've got to believe me, what you did was probably the greatest thing someone has ever done for me." Lucy looked up at him tentatively and he saw a glossiness about her eyes and he could tell she was fighting hard not to break down. "I may not have believed you at first when you told me that I was going to be okay in the end, but the fact that you sincerely did, is the reason I'm still here. It was your undying optimism and faith in me that kept me going, and eventually led me to see it and believe it for myself."

"I was so naïve, Bucky." She protested.

"So?" He asked with a laugh. "What difference does it make? You helped tons of people, myself included. Don't you think that's proof enough that you were doing something right? People have been able to overcome immense mental and emotional obstacles. And have been able to go on to lead fulfilling lives because you were 'naïve' and gave them 'false hope'."

Lucy brushed away a tear that had broken through and fallen on her cheek. He was probably right, she knew, but something within her just wouldn't let herself believe it yet. "So what am I supposed to do if I don't believe it? Are you going to just wait around until I do?"

"If that's what it takes." Bucky said without hesitation.

Lucy looked down at her lap again, unable to hold his gaze. "You deserve to be out enjoying your life. Going on missions with the team at the very least. You don't deserve to have to watch after me. I'm really not worth saving anyway, I'm just one of HYDRA's monsters."

"Well I guess it's a good thing then that I'm a monster too." Bucky replied matter of factly before reaching over and taking a handful of fries from the box in Lucy's hands.

Lucy's forehead wrinkled and she turned her head to look at him. "No—no you're not a monster, why would you say that?"

"Why do you say you are?" He asked with a knowing smirk.

"Buck, I've killed countless people, innocent people. But it's not just that, I killed them in my own hands, felt the life leave them. And I liked it Bucky. I enjoyed every minute of it." She said.

"What you don't think I did too?" He asked with a laugh. "Or whatever souped-up, demented version of me that HYDRA put out there? You keep saying you're alone, that nobody could possibly understand the things you've done. But I'm right here Lou, and I'm not leaving, no matter how many times you push me away." Bucky watched her fidget with the food in her hands, clearly at war with her mind. "You know, someone really smart once told me that I was too busy seeing myself as the villain that I never realized I was the victim."

Lucy closed her eyes, knowing it was what she had told him a few months prior. As much as she wanted to deny it, she knew arguing with him wasn't going to gain her any ground. They sat in silence for a few minutes, the couple at the picnic table having since gotten up and left. Every once in a while one of the shouts of glee from the Frisbee playing teenagers made it to their ears, but the only other things they heard were the occasional car passing by, and the continuous faint squeaking of the empty swings beside them drifting in the breeze.

"I still don't think I can stay cooped up with the team knowing that they aren't going after HYDRA directly. I need to know that they will be stopped and no one else ever has to go through what we have." Lucy finally said, after a period of silence.

"Then maybe we'll just have to do it ourselves." Bucky answered.

Lucy looked at him and raised an eyebrow questioningly. "What, like leave the team and go after them on our own?"

Bucky shrugged, "Why shouldn't we? If everyone else is too busy then what's the harm in taking our own assignments."

"Do you really think Coulson would allow that?" She asked.

"What are they going to do? Lock us up at base and not let us leave?" He asked mockingly. His joke produced a small laugh from Lucy and it made him happy to see her smile again, even if just for a brief moment.


	22. Chapter 22

"Are you guys watching…hoarders?" Skye asked tentatively as she walked into the lounge area to see Hunter, Trip, and Lucy relaxing on the couch watching a man with 47 cats navigating through his house filled with immense clutter. Bucky was in the armchair near them, but he had headphones in and seemed to be enthralled with whatever was on the tablet in his hands. Towards the other side of the room, Fitz, Simmons, Bobbi, and Mack were gathered around the table playing Risk. Which at the moment seemed to be more so of an argument over who had rightful control over Greenland.

"Don't look at me." Hunter said from where he lay slouched in his usual position, one leg on the coffee table. "Shrink wrap picked it."

Lucy rolled her eyes, having gotten used to his nickname for her. "You said you liked this show!" She said defensively.

"Well when it was a choice between this and that weird child beauty pageant thing, you didn't leave me too many options." Lucy and Trip shuffled sidewise on the couch, making room for Skye to take a seat.

"It's not that bad, is it Trip?" Lucy asked, trying to get someone on her side. She leaned forward and grabbed another handful of popcorn.

Trip raised his hands in a surrender. "Oh I am so not getting into the middle of this." He said with a laugh.

"We can change it if you hate it that much." She said to Hunter with a smirk. "Watch some Pro Bass Fishing or whatever the hell you guys are into these days." Reaching over she picked up the remote and scanned over the buttons.

"No it's fine." Hunter replied, resting the beer bottle on his leg. "I feel like I need to know what happens to Mr. Snuggles now." He said with feigned enthusiasm as he motioned to the screen where two workers in face masks were attempting to wrangle an emaciated and wild eyed tabby cat from a series of ceiling rafters. Lucy made a face at him and hurled the remote at him, making him chuckle.

"There was no way you had that many armies in Iceland last turn." Fitz accused as Simmons moved her yellow game pieces around the countries she had conquered.

"Yes I did, you just weren't paying attention." She quipped back, picking up the dice again.

Fitz grumpily took off the armies he had lost and dropped them back into his container. "And I suppose I have to just accept the fact that somehow you managed to get Japan, Mongolia, _and_ China all in one turn?"

Simmons raised her eyebrows at him. "What are you implying, that I'm cheating? Or that I'm influencing the dice when I roll, like you do."

"Well excuse you, I would never do something like that!" He retorted, looking offended, but no one was convinced.

"Right, because dropping them on the floor almost every single time is totally normal." Simmons answered back with a knowing smirk.

"Do you think it's always like this?" Bobbi said to Mack quietly as they watched from their side of the table.

"I really don't want to know." Mack answered back before taking a drink.

"I'm pretty sure we both remember the monopoly incident of 2008." Fitz said, and Simmons didn't seem to have a rebuttal. Instead she just turned away trying to hide the color creeping up her cheeks.

"I just really wanted Park Place okay." She mumbled quietly.

* * *

Meanwhile, a huge grin had begun to take over Bucky's face as he watched whatever was on his screen. Lucy raised an eyebrow, wondering what he was watching, but then turned her attention back to their show. Half a minute later, his smile had turned into a few chuckles until finally he was giggling uncontrollably. The four on the couch each kept looking over at him wondering what on earth had captured his attention.

Finally, when it looked as though he was never going to be able to compose himself, Lucy retrieved the remote from Hunter and paused the show. "What are you watching?" She asked Bucky, confused.

Still grinning from ear to ear, he took out the headphones turned the sound all the way up. Before pressing play he asked, "Hey Lou, what does the fox say?" Lucy had no clue what he was asking her, but she heard several groans from around the room. Within seconds, the sound of the video filled the room. _"Ring-ding-ding-ding-ding-da-ding-da-ding!"_ Confused by the strange lyrics, Lucy stared at him with a mildly terrified look on her face. " _Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho."_

"What it the name of all that is good and holy is this?" Lucy asked, unsure if she wanted an answer. Bucky, however, couldn't seem to formulate a reply as he was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. She didn't understand the song, but his laughter alone was enough to make her join in. Hunter, however simply turned and glared at Skye.

"I swear on my life, it wasn't me." She said genuinely, both of them remembering when the song had first come out and Skye had deemed it necessary to play it no less than three times per day for over two weeks. She would embed the song into emails, web browsers, and even made it May's log in noise so that every time she opened her laptop it would start playing endlessly. Eventually everyone got annoyed with it and Coulson had to threaten to take away the wifi.

"Alright, who am I going to have to kill this time?" May said grouchily as she stepped through the doorway and into the room looking none too pleased. Everyone hushed, but the song still continued to echo through the room. Bucky and Lucy shot glances at each other, both trying desperately to keep their laughter contained.

The voice in the song did an imitation of a wolf howling at the moon and both of them busted up laughing, unable to keep it in any longer. May tried to remain serious, but she couldn't help a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. She hated to admit it but she was glad to see them both happy, it wasn't a sight she got to see very often, especially as of late.

"Coulson is ready to talk with you two now." She said, commanding her expression to return to its natural state.

Bucky nodded and stopped the video. Both took deep breaths trying to calm themselves back down and Lucy ran a finger under her eye wiping away the tears her laughing had produced. Shaking the past few minutes off

* * *

, Bucky rose from the arm chair, and then offered his hand to help Lucy up, which she gladly accepted.

"Good luck." Skye said as they passed her. It hadn't taken long for the news that the two of them were planning to leave the team to spread, but Lucy had been surprised how supportive most of them had been. Coulson of course hadn't been too keen on the idea, but the fact that the majority of the others were on their side gave Lucy hope. The meeting with him now would be the deciding factor on if they really would get to go or not.

"He's in a pretty good mood today." May commented as the three of them made their way towards Coulson's office. "Just don't say anything too crazy and you should be fine."

Lucy nodded in acknowledgement and rolled her shoulders back. She felt like she should be nervous, but for some reason she really wasn't. Bucky walked silently beside her, his hands clasped behind his back, and she wondered what he was thinking.

Phil was standing at one of the windows, a tablet in his hands, when the three entered the room. Seeing them come in, he walked over to his desk and took a seat behind it. "Do I seem like an ignorant man?" Coulson asked, looking up from the screen.

"N-no sir, not at all." Lucy said politely, as she and Bucky took the seats in front of the desk.

Coulson nodded. "So you know I understand the level of risk it would require for me to send two entirely un-tested agents out on an extensive mission."

Lucy glanced over to Bucky and she could tell he was already starting to get disappointed. Coulson didn't seem as apt to the idea as May had made it seem. "Well yes, but—" She said, hoping desperately that he would at least give the idea a chance. Based on her track record with such things as convincing Coulson, however, she wondered how much of a chance she really had.

Coulson just brushed away her answer and seemed to change to topic. "I hope you don't feel like we've made you unwelcome, or that we've done anything to make you want to leave."

"Oh no, of course not." Lucy answered quickly, "Bucky and I couldn't be more grateful for everything you've done for us, and the team is just wonderful."

"But…" Coulson trailed, sensing she had more to say.

Lucy bit her lip, then replied, "But, it's just, we don't exactly feel like we're that useful around here." She said, looking up at Bucky who nodded encouragingly. "I mean, we understand that we're not part of the team in quite the same way as everyone else, but it still just feels like we're in the way more than we're not." She hesitated a moment before continuing. "I know you all want to see HYDRA fall as much as we do, but the fact still remains that you have a lot of other things to worry about, which doesn't leave a lot of time for going after HYDRA directly. We just think that if we're not doing anything here, then why not go be productive there."

Coulson simply nodded. His eyes were focused on the screen and he seemed to be intrigued with what he saw. After a few minutes of stifling silence, he responded, "I guess it's good I'm not sending just anyone to take on HYDRA, then." He stood from his chair and let the tablet lay face up on the desk. Lucy and Bucky both leaned forward to see what he had been looking at so intently. Lucy blushed when she realized it was the recording from when her and May had been fighting in the training room a few days earlier.

Bucky just smirked as he watched as Lucy ducked under May's punch and slid smoothly across the floor, regaining her stance on the other side. May lunged again to attack Lucy, but she had been faster and with a flick of her arm had a solid grasp on May's wrist. With the precision that could only be present when in a state of calm and control, Lucy pulled May's wrist to the side, forcing her to turn her back to Lucy. Once that was done it was just a matter of pinning both arms back until May had no choice but to give in. It was the move he had taught her, and he couldn't help but feel proud.

"Wait, so you're saying we can do it? We can go?" Lucy asked, turning to follow Coulson as he strolled around to the other side of his desk. She glanced over to Bucky in disbelief, wondering if she had heard correctly. She hadn't thought it would be as simple as that.

"Do I feel entirely at ease about the situation?" Coulson commented. "No, but the thought of it does not seem as absurd as it once did. I'll be the first to admit I was skeptical at the mention of your proposition, but after evaluating things, I'm beginning to see that it isn't as irrational as I had first thought. It hasn't always been the easiest road with the two of you joining the team, but you've both proven yourself incredibly valuable to the team and you deserve more credit than you've received."

Lucy sat in shocked silence, listening to Coulson's accolades. He wasn't usually a man of so many words, and she was unaccustomed to his praises directed towards the two of them.

"I hope you understand that if we are going to do this, we have to be able to do things our own way." Bucky said, wasting no time. Lucy fought the urge to hush him. She was still surprised Coulson had agreed and she didn't want to risk him changing his mind now. Still, she restrained herself and bit her lip. "We would have to go completely dark, no communication with S.H.I.E.L.D. or the team whatsoever. And I'm not just saying that because we want to make our own decisions, but because it's strategic. We all know HYDRA won't hesitate to go to whatever lengths are necessary to extract information. If we for some reason got into a bind, they could get your location whether we choose to give it to them or not. That's not a risk either of us are willing to take." Lucy nodded at his statement. They had talked about it just the day before and she had been adamant on the fact.

"I figured you'd say that." Coulson replied simply, his mouth a thin, straight line. "Agent May and I have discussed it ourselves and both came to the same conclusion as the two of you. That's why I've taken the liberty of arranging the necessary funds and documentation you will need to get started." Lucy couldn't help but raise her eyebrows in surprise at his words. She watched as he rifled through his desk drawer and pulled out passports, identification cards, and various foreign currencies. She glanced quickly over at Bucky, who seemed satisfied, but not at all surprised by Coulson's response.

"We'd need to get started as soon as possible." Bucky said, his mind already churning with ideas.

Coulson nodded, "Yes that would be best. We will be stopping down in Madrid tomorrow, which should give you enough time to get everything sorted."

Coulson and Bucky continued talking logistics and making a plan, but Lucy couldn't hardly keep her attention on the conversation. Her heart was already beating fast with excitement. She was finally going to have the chance to repay HYDRA for everything they had done to her and she couldn't help but feel like for once her life was finally heading in the right direction.

* * *

Hello all, a huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I hope you enjoyed this chapter I cracked myself up so hard writing it because I'm dumb like that. Aaanywho, I've started on a sequel that will go up to and throug Civil war, since apparently I can't leave this story well enough alone. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do with it, if Ill post it or not, so just let me know what you think, anyone interested in something like that?


	23. Chapter 23

_Amsterdam, Netherlands_

Bucky let out a long, breathy sigh as he flopped face first onto the crisply smoothed hotel bed. Lucy followed in stride behind him and slumped into the desk chair. Aside from a pair of duffel bags and a laptop, the room looked as though it had been entirely uninhabited. Lucy echoed his sentiments with a sigh of her own.

"Well that didn't go quite as expected." Lucy commented, rubbing the space between her eyes with her fingers. "Still, it could've been worse." She added with an edge of forced optimism.

All she received in return was a muffled groan from Bucky, whose faced was buried in the comforter. Laboriously he hoisted himself up until he was sitting on the edge of the bed, and tried to stretch his neck. "I guess we were pressing our luck to think HYDRA wouldn't be looking for us. Especially once we started going after them."

Lucy glanced over to see Bucky's eyelids resting closed in exhaustion. She felt fairly tired herself, but Bucky really had done most of the work and it didn't surprise her that even despite his enhanced physicality he was still feeling fatigued. Wordlessly she shuffled her feet to push the rolling chair to where he was sitting. When she placed her hand on his, his eyes immediately shot open and he looked up to see a faint grin on her face.

"Lou you didn't need to do that." He said, not bothering to hide the disapproval in his voice. Ignoring his tone she settled back into the soft embrace of the chair and propped her feet up on the bed in front of her.

"Sure I did." She replied, letting her eyes fall shut.

Bucky simply glared at her. "No, you didn't. I heal just as fast as you do, I was fine."

"Almost." She corrected, feeling the weight of Bucky's fatigue compiled onto her own. "Almost as fast as I do."

An exasperated sigh escaped his lips. If he could count on anything, it was that Lucy was going to be stubborn as ever until the bitter end. "Well then you shouldn't have."

"What, and listen to you sighing and moping around for the next half hour? No thanks." She said with a teasing smirk. Bucky could only shake his head, knowing he never had a chance at winning the argument anyway. He had to admit, it felt nice to have his energy instantly restored, but the cost at which he had received it left a sickening feeling in his stomach. He couldn't shake the feeling that one of these days she was going to be too reckless and kill herself just trying to save someone from a cold.

"I was kind of surprised though." Lucy commented after a moment. Every part of her body felt heavy and exhausted, but she wasn't about to let Bucky know that. "I always thought the Dutch would be more considerate."

Bucky recalled the last several hours with a lack of fondness towards the events that had transpired. When their cut and dry operation to plant a bug on the HYDRA agent they'd been tailing the last few days was cut short by the semi-automatic bearing posse of HYDRA mercenaries, he and Lucy had been forced to retreat to the roof of the speeding train, an activity he already despised for various reasons. The plan had been to simply re-enter in another car until they reached their stop, but their plans had to take a different turn when each time they reached another railcar, the passengers inside refused to let them inside. Some barred their luggage against the windows, some took to shouting at them angrily, while others gave a nearly convincing performance of being entirely oblivious to the whole matter. In the end, the result was the two of them clinging tirelessly to the bottom of the railcars where the now thoroughly alerted HYDRA mercenaries could not find them.

"Our looking like half crazed lunatics probably didn't help things." Bucky replied as he stood. She didn't bother opening her eyes as he stepped carefully over her outstretched legs and headed towards the mini fridge.

"You know, I actually wish I could've seen what we looked like, peering into people's windows like that." Lucy said with a chuckle, envisioning the ridiculous scene in her head. Bucky shook his head with a smile as he retrieved a half empty water bottle from the fridge.

"Hand me that, would you?" She said. He looked over to see her eyes now open and her outstretched arm pointing to the laptop setting on the desk beside him.

"Why?" He asked, not moving from where he stood. He was fairly certain he already knew what she was going to say, but he wanted to hear it from her own lips.

"I need to look up the Amsterdam airport floorplan." She responded plainly, her arms still extended, waiting for him to hand it to her.

Bucky sighed, her response being precisely what he had predicted. "Why do you have to do it now? We just got back and you can't even stand yet, for crying out loud!"

For the sole purpose of proving him wrong she defiantly pushed herself out of her chair and forced her legs to carry her across the carpet to retrieve the laptop and returned to her chair. "His flight still leaves tomorrow, and if we don't finish it now, we might not get another chance." She said as she clicked away in the search bar and hit enter. "We have to have a thorough plan in place so that even if something unexpected happens, like today, that we won't miss our chance."

Bucky placed his hand on the top of her screen, ready to close it if she didn't pay attention to him. Her cells may regenerate fast, but they weren't this fast, and just by looking at her he could tell she was still nowhere near being back at full capacity, even with as much effort as she was putting forth to hide the fact. "You need to rest. He's just one of their workhorses, so what if we don't get him this time around? There are bigger things to worry about."

"You're starting to sound like Simmons." Lucy said coldly. Bucky's countenance shifted momentarily at her remark. Softening her tone she continued, "Who knows what information he's been exposed to, we can't underestimate the importance of anyone until we clear them."

"Then let me worry about it, I'll handle it." As soon as the words had left his mouth he knew it was a mistake, as had Lucy who was now glaring at him.

"While I what, sit here all day while you attempt to infiltrate an international travel hub with a dozen HYDRA agents hot on your trail?" Bucky let his hand drop slowly back to his side, knowing there was no chance of convincing her otherwise. "You know I can't do that. We left S.H.I.E.L.D. for a reason, and I plan on making the most of every opportunity we've got."

Bucky lifted his hands in surrender and turned around. "Fine. Do what you want, I'm not going to stop you." He said exasperated. Lucy watched from over her computer screen as he grabbed his jacket from where he had previously tossed it, and left, the door latching behind him. Pushing it from her mind she focused on her research and began making a plan of attack for the next morning.

Rubbing her eyes that ached from staring at the screen, Lucy glanced to the clock in the bottom right of her screen to find that nearly three and a half hours had passed since Bucky had made his exit. He still hadn't returned and she felt a twinge of remorse for having snapped at him the way she had. Stretching, she clasped the laptop shut and tossed it to the side where it bounced on the bed.

Her energy had for the most part returned, and she was feeling more like her old self again. She glanced at the desk to see Bucky's gloves sitting atop it and she realized he had left without them. With only the muffled sound of the cars on the street outside to fill the silence of the room, she padded across the floor and felt the texture of the gloves in her hands. She stared at them a moment, lost in thought, before she quickly shoved them in her pockets and headed for the doorway.

A few blocks away as her footsteps plodded rhythmically across the paved walkway, Lucy spotted the familiar brown haired figure sitting at a bench facing out over the bay. His hands were shoved deep inside his pockets and she could see the tip of his nose had grown red in the chilly November air, and his cheeks were pink. He, however, didn't seem to mind. Tucking her face under the high collar of her coat, she directed her path towards him.

Wordlessly she took a seat gingerly next to him and set the pair of gloves in his lap. Bucky glanced up at her momentarily, but didn't say anything. "You forgot these in the room." She said quietly, keeping her gaze fixed on the horizon.

They sat in silence several moments watching the fog of their breaths in the air before them until Lucy finally spoke up. "I'm sorry about earlier." She said softly. "I shouldn't have said that."

Bucky shrugged, "You were right, maybe I'm not being focused enough on this. We've only got one shot at taking down HYDRA, we don't have time or opportunities to waste."

Lucy grimaced at his emotionless tone of voice. The distance she could feel between them chilled her more than the brisk air blowing around her face. "I shouldn't have been so rude about it. I wasn't thinking and I just snapped at you. I feel awful." She said looking over at him. His eyes didn't meet hers, and instead he continued looking straight ahead. Bucky wanted to shout back at her how true that statement was, to tell her exactly how utterly irrational she was always being lately, but somehow he found the strength to keep his mouth shut.

After a moment Lucy managed to add, with a weak voice, "I wouldn't blame you if you hated me."

"What?" He asked, taken aback. Finally, he turned to look at her and saw the glossiness in her eyes that he had come to recognize. "Lou, I could never hate you, don't be ridiculous." He said shaking his head. After everything they'd been through, she still thought him hating her was somehow remotely a possibility. For him, nothing could be farther from the truth. He owed so much to her, he didn't see how something like that could anything but out of the question. Suddenly the thought crossed his mind that maybe this meant it wasn't out of the question for her, growing to hate him someday. Perhaps, he wondered, she already had for a period of time. Unsettled by his thoughts, Bucky took a deep breath of the chilled air and let it clear his mind.

"You've always been so patient with me." She replied. "Even when I screw things up and make a fool of myself. Why do you even put up with me?"

Bucky thought a moment, watching the ships pass soundlessly in the harbor. "I had to deal with Steve growing up, remember?" He said with a small smile. "I'm used to being told to screw off, then watching him get into trouble." Lucy let out a small chuckle, and Bucky joined in. His smile fading he continued, "You're a good partner, and you're a good fighter, but more than that you've got the heart. I'd be a fool to give that up." He desperately wished he could say more, but something inside him wouldn't let the words escape his lips. Instead he turned his gaze to his lap, where his gloved hands lay folded.

"So does that mean we're still on for the airport tomorrow?" Lucy asked.

Bucky forced a smile to play across his face and looked up to meet her inquisitive gaze. "Yes, I suppose it does."


	24. Chapter 24

_Sorry for the long delay in getting this chapter up. I've been traveling with my family, so things have been hectic!_

* * *

"How many do we have left?" Lucy asked as Bucky handed the I.C.E.R. back to her.

"I've got almost a full set of rounds in mine, but after that we've only got one more full set." He said, pulling the small container of tranquilizer bullets from his pocket as proof.

Lucy clicked open the latch on the gun in her hand to see how many rounds were left. 4 bullets gleamed back at her. Half a set. "Guess we better make our shots count." She said grimly before glancing over at the two security guards slumped against the exterior wall of the building, both down to their boxers and white tanks.

"I probably should've gotten more from Coulson when we set out." Bucky said, shoving the cartridge back into the pocket of the security guard's uniform he was now wearing. "I guess I just underestimated how much we would use them."

She shrugged and started walking. "We'll figure something out. We managed without them a long time, we can do it again."

Bucky followed in stride alongside her as they headed for the access door. He wanted to reply by telling her that they also killed a lot of innocent people back then, but quickly decided against it. Out of the corner of her eye Lucy could see Bucky tugging at the fabric of his uniform, and she bit her lip to stifle a laugh.

"What are you smiling at?" He asked with a hint of irritation.

Lucy kept her eyes focused on the keypad in front of her as she punched in the code. "Shirt a bit tight there?" She asked teasingly. "Maybe you should've picked someone your own size."

Unamused by her enjoyment of his discomfort he quipped back, "Oh, and you're one to talk. You had to roll your pants up three times!" He pointed down at her calves, where the fabric was bunched up in a big ball of haphazard folds. He couldn't help but chuckle at her appearance. The pants were several sizes too big, and the shirt hung off her slender frame like a sack. She had tried to tuck it in as best she could, but all it did was accentuate the ill fit of the cargo pants.

"Shut up." She said defensively, rolling her eyes. Hearing the click affirming the door was unlocked, she pulled it open and stepped inside. "At least I don't look like an awkward 6th grader who unexpectedly hit puberty overnight." She added, motioning to the high-watered cuffs of his pants. Bucky scrunched his mouth into a thin line, announcing they were now even.

They paused a moment to let their eyes adjust to the comparatively dim interior. Fluorescent lights buzzed above, down the length of the gray hallway with various passages and rooms branching off the sides.

"This way." Lucy stated, already heading down the corridor, her steps full of purpose.

Bucky observed in silence as he followed in step behind her. She was reiterating to him for the third time the plan she had laid out the night before, but he wasn't listening. Her auburn hair gleamed from the tight ponytail where it had been pulled back with precision. A few stray hairs, however, had escaped and were now hanging loosely over her cheekbone. He wondered how long it would take her to notice.

As if hearing his internal musings, Lucy's hand quickly lifted to her face and tucked the strand behind her ear. The simple action made him smile, and he couldn't help but shake his head. The person in front of him was so different than the one he had first met on the Bus just a few months earlier. This one walked with her shoulders set back, her spine ramrod straight. Many things were the same, unchanged, like the passion in her eyes, and the fear of nothing at all. Yet there were some things she didn't quite seem to see in the same light.

"Are you even listening?" Lucy's words interrupted his thoughts and he quickly snapped back to the present. "It's important we're both on the same page here."

"I got it, I got it." He reassured, but his tone didn't seem to put her any more at ease.

Lucy sighed, "You have to be focused; I need to know your head in in this."

Bucky slowed his steps to a halt, and grabbed a hold of her forearm until she finally stopped and turned to face him. "Lou, what's going on, what's up with you?" He asked.

"Nothing, what do you mean? Everything is fine, now can we go?" She replied impatiently. She turned to continue her trek through the hall, but Bucky once again stopped her.

"You know me better than to think I'm going to believe that." He quipped back, an eyebrow raised. Lucy squirmed a moment uncomfortably before finally resorting to averting her gaze. "We've done this a million times, hell it's been ingrained into our heads hundreds of times. Why are you so worked up about this mission? What's got you so on edge?"

Lucy wished she could ignore his questions, but knew she wasn't going to be able to avoid the conversation this time. "Now's not the time, Buck." She said quietly, checking the area for movement. A single guard rounded the corner and Lucy quickly and calmly turned on her heel, and motioned for Bucky to follow. "Come on, in here.

Inside the room a wall of T.V.'s showed passengers waiting at their gates, others standing impatiently at lines in the food court, and men in reflective vests loading luggage into the belly of a plane.

At the sound of the door opening and closing, a middle aged woman asked lazily without turning around, "What do you need Lars? Forget these?" She held up a set of keys that jangled against each other.

"Oh." She commented when she realized that neither of the two individuals who had just entered the room were Lars. "Can I help you?"

Lucy strolled over to the empty desk next to the woman and sat down as though it was the same thing she had done every day.

"We're switching shifts early." Bucky said with a smile. "I guess you get an early lunch today."

The woman looked a bit shocked, yet didn't move from her seat. Next to her, Lucy swung her feet up on the desk, making herself thoroughly at home. "I—I didn't hear anything about this, are you sure?" She stammered.

Bucky held his friendly demeanor and confirmed, "It was last minute; they probably just forgot to tell you."

She looked conflicted, unsure if she could trust what they were saying. "Well I'm not supposed to clock out until 12—"

"Relax, we've got this." Lucy interjected.

The woman looked contemplative a moment before she squinted slightly and looked the both of them up and down. "Hang on, those uniforms don't fit right, and I haven't seen either of you around before. Something's not right here." She muttered quietly more to herself than the other two in the room. Reaching for the radio on her hip she kept her eyes on them both. "I should call Lars."

"There's really no need." Bucky assured, but the woman ignored his words.

"Lars, can you come to the surveillance room, I—" Her words echoed from Bucky's radio and the woman's eyes widened in realization. Her eyes flashed towards the alert button in her peripherals, and Bucky could tell what she was thinking.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He said calmly, pulling his I.C.E.R. into view. She registered the weapon, indicated by the increased speed of her breathing. Knowing the result her actions would produce, the woman dove for the button, hitting it just moments before Lucy's I.C.E.R. bullet dropped her to the floor unconscious.

Lucy sighed, "Well, I guess this is no use anymore." The flash drive in her hand held a program to set all the cameras on a repeating loop. She tossed it to Bucky, who snapped it easily with the metal grip of his hand and tossed it on the cement floor. Without wasting time she set to moving the now unconscious woman out of the way so she could take a seat at the desk she had occupied earlier. Quickly she typed in a series of modifiers until the video feed she was looking for appeared. Their desired HYDRA target sat nonchalantly at his gate's waiting area, casually perusing a newspaper.

"You never answered my question." Bucky stated as he pulled the woman to the edge of the room and leaned her against the wall of lockers.

Lucy knew he was referring to their conversation in the hallway, and her uneasiness returned. "I don't know, Bucky." She said curtly. They both heard the door open and two men bustled in.

"Hey, what are you—"

With synchronized precision, Bucky and Lucy both let off a round each, causing both of the men to slump to the ground. "It's just, he's gotten away once already. I don't want him to slip away again." Lucy added.

Bucky shrugged, accepting her answer, "Okay, and I get that, but why is this guy in particular so important to you? We've had people put up a fight in the past but it never made you like this."

"Like what?" Lucy asked with a labored sigh.

He bit his tongue, forcing himself to stay calm. She knew exactly what he meant, and she knew exactly what she was doing. "Obsessive and paranoid about every little thing." He said as he moved the two men alongside the woman. "The past two days all we've done is fight with each other, and you've paid more attention to 'Mr. Black Hair' than you have me, or even yourself for that matter. You're changing Lou, and I'm sorry, but I don't know if I'm okay with it."

"I'm not doing this with you right now." Lucy said, standing from her chair.

"And why is that?" Bucky said, stepping between her and the door. His arms were crossed, his eyes daring her to say the words.

Lucy defiantly held his stare for several seconds before answering, "Because we have a mission." Bucky simply shook his head, and Lucy pushed past him, waiting for him in the hallway.

"These have been here a while, let's try them." Lucy said, brushing a thin film of dust from the luggage tags on a pair of purple and gray suitcases. They were the first words either of them had spoken since the surveillance room, and the tension in the warehouse room full of abandoned luggage seemed to dissipate, if only slightly.

"Oh good, Florida tourist. Jackpot." Bucky said as he held up an obnoxious tropical print shirt against his chest.

"I like it, you're finally dressing your age." Lucy joked.

Bucky watched as she dug through her matching suitcase of equally exuberant tropical wear that had at one point clearly belonged to a 70 something year old woman, trying to find something that would work. "Ouch, really? Because I thought it brought out my eyes quite nicely." Bucky quipped back, feigning hurt feelings.

"Well I suppose there's that too." She replied, her mouth unconsciously turning upward at the corners. Bucky saw just the smallest flash of a smile before she quickly reset it back into a grim line. She was still annoyed with him for nagging on her and she wanted him to get the right message.

Once they had both traded their ill-fitting guard uniforms for their gaudy floral prints, and had transferred their weapons from one outfit to the other, they both took a deep breath and headed for the main terminal, one man in their sights.

"Here, take these." Bucky held out his hand, showing the last of the I.C.E.R. bullets.

Lucy glanced down to see what he was handing her. "Wait, but what if you need them?"

Bucky shook his head. "I'm fine. You've only got two left, you're going to need them." Reluctantly Lucy accepted them and loaded six of them into her gun, forcing Bucky to keep the last two.

"Are you ready?" Bucky asked when she was finally finished messing around with things.

"Are you?" She asked in response.

"Let's catch ourselves a HYDRA informant shall we?" He said with a smirk.

Lucy smoothed her hair back one last time. "See you on the other side."

The pair wordlessly split ways, Bucky heading towards the B3 gate where the HYDRA agent was waiting, and Lucy towards the circular customer service desk in the middle of the terminal.

"I wondered when we'd be meeting again." The black haired HYDRA agent said nonchalantly as he calmly flipped the page of his newspaper. "I do have to commend you for such quick turnaround though, pretty impressive no?"

Bucky's countenance was just as calm as he sat on the opposing row of chairs, their backs practically touching. Only a handful of others were around them and none seemed to take notice of the conversation. An airport worker quickly brushed past him, heading for the service desk a few hundred feet down the corridor. His face exuded dread and impatience, and Bucky knew Lucy was already making quick progress with her diversion tactics.

"I know a good research analyst. Makes things pretty easy." Bucky responded, nodding politely to a mother and son who took a seat across from him.

The black haired man smiled. "I'm sure it does. It's always nice to have a beautiful woman by your side to do the busy work." He articulated each of his words in a way that instantly got on Bucky's nerves. "I should warn you though, Mr. Barnes, I hear redheads can be a bit feisty. Tell me, how is the Little Fox doing these days?"

Bucky's felt his heart race for a split second at the mention of his name and Lucy's. He didn't like that this man, whom they had pinpointed as a low level informant, knew his name. Even more so he didn't like that he knew Lucy's. It made him uneasy, and he wished the feeling would go away. "You seem to hear a lot of things. Not many people know we exist." He said coolly.

The black haired man chuckled as though Bucky's words had been some sort of joke. It set Bucky's teeth on edge. "It's actually kind of amusing, the way you two run around causing trouble and making messes all the while thinking no one is taking notice."

Several other passengers migrated to the waiting area, as one of the attendants called out fifteen minutes until boarding. "Well then, HYDRA must be even more incompetent than I thought. We haven't run into much resistance so far. In fact I'd dare say it's been easy." Bucky answered back, still succeeding at keeping his prior uneasiness from showing.

"Precisely, Mr. Barnes." The HYDRA man answered in a tone that sickened Bucky. "Have you ever wondered perhaps it was a bit too easy, all of it?"

Bucky quickly understand what the man was implying and clenched his jaw. His first instinct was that the man was bluffing, HYDRA never would have just sat back and watched for so long if they'd had a track on him and Lucy the entire time they'd been away from S.H.I.E.L.D. Yet on the other hand this man already knew their identities, there was no telling how deep his information ran.

Without thinking, Bucky rose from his chair and trained his I.C.E.R. on the black haired man, who only looked back at him with his typical smugness. "Sorry, I guess I didn't have time to contemplate it with all the thinking I've done about this moment. About how great it will feel to finally wipe that pompous smirk off your face." Bucky spat angrily, his finger hovering over the trigger.

Seemingly unaffected by Bucky's threats, the man lowered his newspaper with a sigh before folding it and setting it aside. "You know, it's a shame really. You spent so much time carefully planning everything out. Yet there's one thing you failed to see." The black haired man motioned around the room where Bucky looked to see a dozen gun barrels aimed in his direction. Two thirds of the passengers were now surrounding him, their expressions grim. Bucky closed his eyes slowly, realizing they'd walked right into a trap. "You see, unlike you, we don't mind using real guns. In fact we rather prefer them." The HYDRA agent added with a taunting laugh.

"All security personnel please report to the main terminal." Lucy heard the words echoing from the intercom above the desk. With the assistant at the help station no longer paying attention to her complaints, Lucy gave up her ruse and glanced down the terminal fairway to where Bucky was still surrounded. It was only a matter of time before HYDRA would have her corralled too. Scanning her surroundings she opted for the motorized transport vehicle that had been left unattended in the chaos. The airport staff frantically bustled about, all trying to ascertain what was happening. Pushing past the workers and passengers all scurrying away in attempts to evacuate the area, Lucy picked up speed towards Bucky and the group.

Twenty yards from them Lucy laid on the horn. Its shrill blaring echoed off the glass paned walls creating a cacophony of noise. Knowing instantly Lucy would have been the only one mad enough to do something so bold, Bucky smiled. Her auditory assault caught the HYDRA agents off guard, giving Bucky just the split second of distraction he needed.

In a smooth flick of his arm he fired at one of the agents near him, then two more, all three falling unconscious to the floor. Lucy had already leapt from her seat on the transport vehicle, and was now firing one shot after another, dodging the enemy bullets simultaneously. Bucky turned back around to grab a hold of the black haired man, but he was already skittering away, ducking under the line of fire.

Bucky cursed under his breath and started following after him, still having to fend off the other three pursuing him. Lucy noticed the black haired man's escape attempts at the same time as well and clenched her teeth in anger. She pulled the trigger of her I.C.E.R. and heard a click, announcing it was empty. Forcefully she chucked it aside and braced herself for the HYDRA agent charging at her.

Using the move Bucky had taught her, she quickly had his arms pinned and the gun fell from his grasp into her own. In a swift continuation of motion, and without taking a second to let her mind take note of the actions her hands were doing, she sighted the end of the barrel of the black haired man and pulled hard on the trigger.

Almost instantaneously, the man doubled over to his side, clutching his stomach. The shot didn't drop him however, and he stumbled on further, his speed encumbered by his injuries. Before Lucy had a chance to see Bucky overtake him her attention was brought back to her immediate concern. Three more HYDRA agents were coming after her now and she wondered where they were all coming from.

Bucky's mind registered what she was doing just a split second before the blast of the bullet firing reached his ears. Lucy had just fired a gun, a real gun, at an unarmed man. Ever since they had both gotten their memories back they'd both agreed guns would be a last resort. Yet just now she had done so without even a moment's hesitation. It chilled him to think about it. However, he didn't get much chance to dwell on it, as soon he was fighting off attackers of his own.

Airport security and frightened passengers watched in stunned silence as Bucky landed a final blow on the last remaining agent pursuing him. Finally he had a moment to take a breath. Whipping his head around to see how Lucy was faring, he saw that she too was on her last attacker. Yet something seemed off. Rather than being entangled in a heavy handed fist fight, she simply had one hand wrapped around the man's neck, the other around his forearm. He wasn't fighting back, and the look that was played across Lucy's face reminded him of only one thing.

"What are you doing!" He shouted forcefully. His booming voice startled Lucy and she spun her head quickly. "What are you doing?" Bucky reiterated, his eyes wild.

Lucy looked back to her hands, and the gurgling man held by them. With a look of stunned horror as though just realizing for the first time what she had done, she released her grip on him and let him slump to the floor.

"I— I—" She stammered breathlessly, searching for an explanation. Too dazed to process what she was supposed to do next, Bucky crouched beside her and helped lift her from the floor. He guided her away from the scene, heading in the direction the black haired man had scampered off to. Turning back a moment, he nodded to the chief of the security team, who then tentatively ushered his men towards the motionless HYDRA members.

"I— I—killed him Bucky." She muttered shakily in near disbelief.

"We can discuss it later." He said, trying to keep her, as well as himself, calm. "We still need to get our guy."

Bucky's words reached her ears, but they didn't seem to have any effect. "And I, I shot him." She said, her voice almost a whisper. Her hands were starting to shake and she felt like she was going throw up. Every kill from her HYDRA days was pushing at her brain, each one wanting to be seen, to be heard, to be felt.

"Lou!" Bucky said emphatically, shaking her shoulders. Her big hazel eyes stared back up at him. "You have to keep it together, I need you right now!" She nodded, signifying she understood, but the fear in her eyes remained. "He's probably headed to a pick up site. If he came this way, what's the quickest exit out of the airport he'd have?"

She wrinkled her eyebrows at him, her brain not giving her any answers. "You've studied this airport inside and out, you know it better than anyone. You can do this!" He said urgently, trying not to sound too impatient.

Forcefully stifling her emotions as best she could, Lucy squeezed her eyes shut and tried to see the airport layout in her mind. "This hallway bypasses the main concourse then hits the mechanical sector. There's an outside door at the end that leads to the delivery docks. He's probably headed there." She said finally, her breathing beginning to slow back to normal.

Bucky nodded in relief. "We better get a move on then." Picking up the pace as they went, the pair rushed down the corridor. The tone of their surroundings changed when they reached the mechanical section, fewer lights, and exposed pipes running in every possible direction.

"We have to check around." Lucy stated unhappily. "With his injuries it's very possible he only made it this far, and we can't risk missing him."

Bucky sighed, knowing she was right. "I'll take this side, you take that one." He muttered.

After several minutes of searching with no luck, a slight pounding noise caught her ear. Quickly she rounded a mass of pipes to see the black haired man sprawled across the grate floor, prying desperately at one of the loose plates with one hand, the other clutching his side.

"The door is that way." She said, her arms crossed. The man squirmed around to see her standing above him and let out a defeated sigh.

"You may have thought you won this time, but don't worry. You'll be back with HYDRA soon." He said, still retaining his same smug arrogance.

"Oh is that so?" She asked sarcastically.

He nodded. "Yes. And it will be by your own choice." The man grunted and winced at the pain emanating from his abdomen. Blood was still flowing from the wound in copious amounts and they both knew he didn't have much time left.

"Please, enlighten me." Lucy said with a smirk.

He let out a chuckle, which quickly turned into a choked cough. Once he had recomposed himself he spoke. "We know all about you, Fox. We know you escaped back in Maine, and we know you've been with S.H.I.E.L.D. ever since. HYDRA knows all about your buddy Barnes as well of course. The people I work for weren't too happy to have him slip out of their hands, but neither were they when you got away." Lucy's smile started to fade and her eyes grew steadily fiercer, yet she remained standing firm in her place.

"The funny part though, is that they don't really care too much about getting their Winter Soldier back, no they've accepted their losses on that one. Besides, soon they'll be able to make entire armies of super soldiers that can do everything he can, just better. But you," he said with sly smile, "You're a different story altogether now aren't you? They never quite could get it to work the same as it did for you."

Lucy's blood seemed to stop pumping altogether. She knew he was referring to her unique abilities, and the feeling of the man's life passing into hers just minutes earlier flashed through her mind.

"You're a killer Lucy." He said, and she felt her face growing hot. "And a good one. You think that's something you can just run from? That you can just turn that off? You've already felt yourself slipping back into it haven't you. It's where you belong, it's your element."

"You're a monster." She spat at him, disgusted by his words.

The man brushed off her words and replied simply, "So are you, Little Fox." He was leaning against the wall of pipes, his energy fading fast. With the last ounces of energy he had left he provided Lucy with his trademark twisted smile that made her stomach churn. She wanted to kick him straight across the face, but he had already faded.

"Damn, were we too late?" Bucky commented, seeing their target's lifeless form over Lucy's shoulder. "I wanted to take him out myself. Lucy turned at the sound of his voice and brushed away a tear she hadn't realized had formed.

"Woah, are you alright?" He asked upon seeing her sullen face. "Did he—did he say something to you?"

Lucy shook her head and replied plainly, "No." Bucky didn't believe her but decided not to press further.

"I guess we better get him out of here." He added with a sigh.

"Bucky you're bleeding!" Lucy said suddenly with concern. Reaching up to his right shoulder she pressed her finders to a gash left by one of the HYDRA agent's bullets. "Why didn't you say anything?" She asked hurriedly, assessing the damage.

"Its fine, I'll be okay. It just nicked me. I guess I just didn't notice with everything going on." He said, pushing her away. He didn't want to admit that the real reason he hadn't said anything was because he knew she would have been demanding he let her heal him, as she was now.

"Here, let me fix it up." She stated, pulling at the fabric to get to skin.

Bucky pulled away from her grasp indignantly. "You're not doing that." He insisted. "I told you, I don't like it when you do. I heal just as fast as you do, I'll be fine."

Lucy looked disappointed but she bit her lip and took a step back. "Almost as fast." She muttered softly to herself.


	25. Chapter 25

_Bangkok, Thailand_

The air felt heavy and oppressive around Lucy's head as she sat on the hotel bed, her knees to her chest. Every time she took a breath it felt as though the weight of it would crush her. Bucky had the water running in the shower and the sounds coming from the television almost drowned out his humming to some ridiculous pop song that had been stuck in his head the past day and a half.

Her eyes were taking in the images on the screen, but her mind wasn't paying attention. A weatherman in a raincoat was reporting on the tropical storm passing by a few hundred miles east of where she and Bucky were.

Lucy's mind, however, could only focus on one thing. It had been nearly a week since her encounter with the black haired HYDRA agent at the airport, but his words had never been far from her mind in the days since. She still hadn't told Bucky about it; she didn't know how, or what she would say. But now she was beginning to question how long she could keep going like this. The weight of it festering inside was drowning her, and she knew that soon Bucky would crack through her façade. He had a knack for doing that.

"You get to choose who you are now. They don't get a say any more." She said quietly to herself, repeating the words Bucky always used to tell her. They used to be a comfort, but now the words just echoed hollowly in her ears. Her ability to convince herself of that fact was now gone, and as much as she wished they didn't, the black haired man's words resonated within her. They fit. She _was_ a monster, then and now. It didn't matter what anyone said any more, she had killed a man without even hesitating, and nothing was going to change that. The thought crossed her mind that one day she could get so lost in herself that she ended up harming Bucky or someone else close to her. Her stomach twisted and she curled her arm around her head, trying to forget the images her brain had just concocted.

She vowed to herself she would never let that happen, and she only saw one way of ensuring it wouldn't. Side stepping off the bed she padded to where her duffel bag was set against the wall and quickly stuffed everything in and zipped it shut. Walking in front of the TV she clicked the volume up a few notches before slipping quietly into her shoes.

Her hand was shaking as she laid it on the cool metal of the door handle. She turned back and glanced over the room, asking herself if she was really doing this—if she _could_ really do this. Bucky didn't deserve to be up and left like this with no explanation, he was better than that. But he also didn't deserve to be continuously put at risk just for being with her. And what was she anyway? An ex-HYDRA weapon halfway out of her mind with a countdown to self-destructing? No, Bucky didn't deserve that, and she knew this was the way it had to be.

Taking a deep breath she silently pulled open the door and proceeded into the hallway, and carefully latched it behind her, making sure it didn't make a sound. Reaching the lobby she was surprised to find a tear had escaped its hold and was now falling across her cheek. Hurriedly she brushed it away with her sleeve. She was committed to this now and she couldn't allow herself to go back on her decision. Walking swiftly around the corner of the building she hurried into the cover of the parking garage across the street, thankful to be out of the wind courtesy of the nearby tropical storm. Knowing she didn't have long before Bucky would be out of the shower and would discover her absence, she picked up her pace.

Taking the stairs she headed for their temporary rental car parked on the third floor. It was an old fashioned yellow VW bug and Bucky had vowed never to enter the thing when the man had handed them the keys at the lot. "Like hell I am!" He had said incredulously when she had tossed the keys at him with a smile, telling him to drive. "Why do they even have this, it's ridiculous." He had protested, but Lucy had eventually won the battle and he was soon begrudgingly behind the wheel as they puttered down the road. "It's incredibly impractical you do realize. It doesn't exactly blend in that well."

"Well I think it's charming." Lucy had replied in a victorious grin.

Stifling her emotions and stuffing them down, she slid the key into the lock of the trunk. When she went to turn it, however, she was met with resistance and the key wouldn't budge. She let out an exasperated sigh, knowing Bucky would realize she was missing any minute.

"I was thinking we could go to that Thai place on the corner for dinner." Bucky said as he stepped out of the bathroom, still drying his hair with the towel. "I mean, we haven't really gone out to eat somewhere in a long time, it might be nice. Besides, I'm fairly certain it's a sin to go to Thailand and not get authentic Thai food." Bucky waited for a reply, but all he received was the chattering of the commercials on TV. "Lou?" He asked, rounding the corner to find the room empty. He furrowed his brows, wondering if she had gone down to the lobby for something. When his eyes landed on the empty floor space where her duffel had been and the car keys missing from the desk, however, his heart dropped to his stomach. "Shit, Lou." He muttered with a shake of his head before tossing the towel aside and hurriedly pulled the nearest shirt over his head and stumbled out the door.

Ascending the final flight of stairs he let out a long pent up breath he hadn't realized he was holding in. Lucy was still at the car, fighting with the jammed trunk lock. She hadn't left yet; he had made it in time. "I told you we should've gotten a better car." He said in stride across the sparsely filled garage towards her.

"Just let me go, Bucky." She said angrily as she yanked the key out and opted for the back seat. This time, the lock opened without problem and she heaved the duffel bag inside. "This isn't about you."

"Right, because my partner spontaneously ditching me without so much as a word of explanation has nothing at all to do with me." He said once he was just a few feet away. His shirt was still partially caught up on itself and it made Lucy wonder how fast he had dashed out of the room.

"It's not." She reiterated, shaking her head. "It's about me, and something I need to do."

"And what would that be?" He asked, his hands on his hips. "Where are you going to go? What could you possibly have to do that you had to so suddenly leave without a trace? What's so important that I can't even go with you?" He finished with a chuckle.

"I'm turning myself into HYDRA." She said plainly.

Bucky busted into laughter until he realized she wasn't smiling, and she wasn't kidding either. "You're not serious, Lou. Do I really have to explain to you why that idea is absolutely insane?" He said, wondering what on earth had gotten into her head and made her think that was even an option.

"I am serious, Buck." She said with conviction. "I don't expect you to understand. It was something the informant said at the airport just before he died."

"Don't tell me this is that prick again." Bucky breathed, raising his hand to his forehead in frustration. "He's HYDRA, Lucy. HYDRA lies, that's what they do. Whatever he said to you was just him trying to get under your skin and mess with your head." He said emphatically.

Lucy was shaking her head. "He wasn't, he was telling the truth. They know about us, they know all about me and Little Fox. They're never going to stop until they have me, and I can't stand the thought of something happening to you simply because they were trying to get to me." Lucy closed the car door and stood her ground across from Bucky.

"So that means you should just waltz back in there and give them exactly what they want?" He said incredulously. "Come on, I know you have to see the crazy in this. You know what they'll do to you the instant you walk through those doors. Everything will be gone, the entire life you've built will be gone. It will be straight back to the chair and you'll be their empty killing machine again."

"At least I won't have to remember it." She stated, and Bucky was taken slightly aback by the sincerity in her eyes. "So what if I become their puppet again. They'll just wipe it away and I'll never have to think about it again. I won't have to live with it because I won't remember it!"

Bucky rubbed his face, not believing what he was hearing. "You would let them make you into something abominable just so you could forget?"

"I already am!" She stated as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I killed not just one man, but two—something I swore to you I would never do again. And I didn't even hesitate, Buck. I just did it because it felt normal, it was natural." She looked down at the keys in her hands. "There's no telling what I'll do next time, it could be you on the other side of that bullet, and I won't have that. HYDRA won't have to remake me into the killer they had before, because I never changed. I'm still that same killer, the only difference is that I have to live with that every single day, and I can't do it, not anymore."

"I could give you a thousand reasons why this is a bad idea and why your plan is entirely illogical, but you're not going to listen to any of them, are you?" Bucky asked finally, out of pure frustration.

"I've already decided, this is what I'm doing." She said with conviction. Keys in hand, she turned to open the driver's side door.

"Then I'm coming with you." Bucky said matter of fact.

Lucy let out a huff and turned back around to face him. "Why?" She asked simply, shaking her head. "Why would you come with me? After everything that has happened. I treat you like dirt half the time even though I know you don't deserve it, and the other half I'm screwing things up and half out of my head. Just let me have this one last crazy thing and I won't ask you for anything else ever again, I promise. Besides, why do you bother trying to save me anyway? I'm not worth saving, Buck, I—"

Lucy's fast paced words were suddenly cut off by the presence of Bucky's lips pressed against hers. He lingered only a moment before pulling back. She stared at him in motionless shock, her brain unable to process what had just transpired.

"That's why, Lou. It always has been, and I've been waiting for the day you would tell me the same, but I'm done waiting. If it takes chasing you straight into a HYDRA facility to prove to you that I'm serious about this then I will, no hesitation. I love you, Lou. And I'm sorry if that was out of line, but I just couldn't—"

This time it was her turn to quiet his lips with her own, and it only took him a moment to get over the surprise of it and quickly relaxed, pulling her closer to him. Suddenly everything that had been plaguing her mind seemed to vanish, the thoughts feeling foreign. This was where she belonged, and this was what felt right. Somehow HYDRA didn't seem appealing anymore.

Slowly they both parted, their noses nearly touching. "Does this mean you'll stay?" He asked softly.

"I suppose HYDRA can wait a while." She said with a smile before reaching up to kiss him again. They shuffled backwards until Lucy's back was pressed against the side of the car and her heart seemed to skip a beat. Suddenly she was wondering why they hadn't done this earlier. How long had he been waiting for this? Since S.H.I.E.L.D.? Since Russia? Since the night she stayed with him on his bunk floor? The questions all blurred together in her head and she didn't bother going after them when they drifted away.


	26. Chapter 26

_Hoppegarten, Germany_

"Remind me again why we're doing this?" Lucy asked anxiously as they trudged through the Brandenburg streets. Steam billowed up from one of the manholes in the brisk February air, and cars bustled past each other down the narrow street.

"Because you deserve to get a bit of closure after all these years." Bucky replied for the fourth time, pulling his collar up a few inches. "Besides, you never know, what if you've been secretly super rich all these years?" He added jokingly which produced a smile from Lucy.

"Don't get your hopes up." She replied back from under her scarf, one eyebrow raised. "There's probably nothing left but cigarette butts and old newspapers."

"6105 Weiss Bergen Straẞe." Bucky read the rusty plaque on the wall of the dingy apartment building made of stone.

"That's an Eszett, you fickwit. It's Strasse as in double 'S' not a 'B'. It means street." Lucy corrected, rolling her eyes and punching him playfully in the arm.

Bucky snickered, "Well I like strabe better. It sounds like strawberry." Taking a dramatic pose with one foot up on the stairs he declared loudly in a terrible accent, "Gibt mir ein Strabe! Ja, I want a Strabe now!"

Lucy's face turned a deep shade of red and she whipped her head around quickly and saw that people were indeed tossing them questioning glances. "Shut up!" She said trying to hide her face in her coat. "For god's sake, I can't take you anywhere!"

Bucky just laughed. A woman walking near them picked up her small yipping lap dog as she passed by and glared at the two of them, her mouth pinched into a thin, judging, crease. "Do you have a Strabe, ma'am?" He asked, "You look like you could use a Strabe."

Lucy smacked him and the woman muttered to herself as she picked up her pace away from them. "You're terrible!" She breathed, her face still red with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I'll be good I promise." He answered back, still chuckling. "Just as soon as you give me a Strabe." He added quickly. Lucy simply shook her head at him. Both knew it wouldn't be the last time he tried to embarrass her in public.

Their footsteps echoed off the walls covered in faded wallpaper as they climbed the wooden staircase and proceeded to the creaking landing at the top. Bucky slid his finder across the banister, a clump forming in the layer of dust. "Doesn't appear anyone's been taking care of the place." He commented.

Lucy, however, was trying to ignore the lump of anxiety now re-forming in her throat. Her hand hovered in front of the door, hesitating to knock. Bucky slid his hand into her other hand and said reassuringly, "I'll be right by your side the whole time."

She took a deep breath and told herself to be confident. Three knocks echoed through the wooden door, and a few moments later it was opened by a smiling blonde haired man who looked to be in his late thirties. He adjusted his glasses quickly before eagerly welcoming them in. "Oh good, you made it, please do come in." He said motioning for them to enter the apartment. "Ah—um, ich heisse Peter." He said slowly in rough pronunciation. "Sorry, my German isn't very good yet, I don't know if I said that right or not." He apologized, slipping back into his normal American accent.

"Nein, das ist toll! Your Deutsch is just fine." Lucy said with a reassuring smile. She let her native accent flow heavier than normal, remembering the cover she had given him the day before. "This is Herman, and I'm Alisse, we spoke on the phone earlier." She added.

Peter nodded and clasped his hands together. "I have to say I was a bit surprised that anyone actually responded to the notice I put out, I wasn't expecting to get any calls. To say I was elated when you contacted me would be an understatement."

"I guess fate was looking out for us." She replied politely. Bucky glanced around the room as the pair conversed, taking in the surroundings. A lone armchair sat facing the window that overlooked the cityscape outside, and beside it an old record player. A bookshelf lined one of the walls, and a weathered desk the other. Everything seemed to have a place, as though the owner had taken great pride in keeping the place neat and tidy, however, the layer of dust enveloping everything implied the place had been left untouched for quite some time.

"So, I didn't get a chance to ask, how exactly did you know Mr. Vonnegut?" Peter asked curiously.

Lucy felt her heart jump at the mention of her father, but she kept her expression the same. "Fredrick was my, uh—"

"Great grand-father." Bucky interjected quickly, helping her out. She smiled at him gratefully.

"What about yourself?" She asked, turning back to Peter. "How did you come by owning his place?"

Peter led them towards the kitchen counter where a worn photo album was laid out. "It's a bit of an odd story actually, I still have a lot of unanswered questions myself, really. You see, my great aunt was Lillian Faris, who married your great grandfather, Fredrick." Peter paused a moment then added thoughtfully, "I suppose that makes us what, second cousins or something like that?"

Lucy smiled, briefly processing what he was saying. She was more preoccupied, however, by the faded photo staring back at her. Her mother's kind eyes gleamed while her father's smile beamed in happiness. A five year old Lucy was perched gleefully on his shoulders, clutching a stuffed rabbit in her arms. Her hair was pulled back, tied with the ribbon her mother had always insisted be present. Seeing her mother's face which had for so long been faded from her memory stirred up emotions Lucy hadn't felt in quite some time. Lucy vaguely remembered the day the picture had been taken, at a citywide parade not but a few blocks from where they were now all standing. A year before her mother had died, and one of the last times she had seen her father smile from genuine happiness.

"I never could figure out what happened to his daughter Lucy, the one in the photograph, your grandmother, I presume?" Peter said pointing to the place Lucy was already looking.

"She was a very private person." Lucy offered weakly, shrugging her shoulders.

Peter nodded, "I do find it curious, however, that when he died he didn't leave this place to any of his direct descendants, but whatever the reason, he left it to my grandfather, Joe. We didn't even know he had it for many years, as he never brought it up. When my parents finally confronted him about it he got quite angry and was adamant that we were never to go inside it or do anything with it.

"We asked him why he didn't just sell it and use the money, but he refused every time. Us all being in Detroit, it didn't bother us too much, none of us were going to be traveling to Germany frequently anytime soon, so we let the matter drop. He passed away last month, so the deed was passed onto my parents. Grandpop Joe never could give us a straight answer why were weren't allowed to come here, but we have a theory that it was because he was bitter about his sister's death, I think he still believed it was Fredrick's fault, even up to his passing."

Lucy thumbed through the album as he talked, amazed by all the distant relatives she was now realizing she had. "That's my mom and dad there." Peter said, pointing to a photo of a couple in their late sixties, the woman's head resting lovingly on the man's shoulder. "Fredrick had always kept to himself, and my dad had never even met the man when he was still alive, so it wasn't too difficult for them to make the decision to sell the place when Joe passed."

Across the room they heard a cellphone emitting its tune. "Oh, that must be our lawyer now. He's helping us with the selling process, he was supposed to call me to discuss pricing; I should really take it. You're more than welcome to look around as long as you like, it's as much your place as it is mine."

Lucy thanked him and Peter quickly answered his phone before stepping out into the hall. "Herman? Really?" Bucky asked as soon as the door clicked shut.

Lucy smiled and said with a laugh, "That's what you get when you can't decide on a name and I have to pick for you."

He shook his head, his arms folded across his chest. "Man, if I'd known you'd pick Herman I would've come up with something. Gunther or Lorenzo or Chimichanga or something!" His words made her chuckle as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

Lucy glanced over the room and let out a long sigh. "You alright?" Bucky asked, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Yeah," she said unconvincingly, "it's just a lot to take in at once." She slid her hand into his and proceeded down the narrow hallway.

"This place looks like it hasn't been touched in years." Bucky commented, glancing around. Lucy opened a door up ahead and slowly entered in. "And I don't just mean the dust, I mean this place looks like it's straight out of 1945, it's incredible. It's like a museum."

"Like it hasn't been changed at all." Lucy said, forcing the words out. She felt as though all the air had been violently ripped from her lungs and she squeezed Bucky's hands a little tighter. Stepping into the room behind her, Bucky realized why. Sunlight filtered in through the crème curtains, illuminating the crumpled quilt tossed on the small bed in haste. Patchwork dolls lay strewn on the floor in one corner of the room and a child's artwork pages were hung around sporadically on the wallpapered walls.

While the rest of the house had been left in perfect order, this room had seemed to be forgotten. Its contents were hanging about as though the child who occupied it had been called away during playtime and would be bounding joyously back any minute, reading to finish their adventure.

"It's exactly the same." Lucy stated, a glossiness pooling up in her eyes. "He never even touched it." Bucky bent down to retrieve one of the dolls and brushed its twine hair from its face. He smiled at its crudely drawn face, its mouth in a wide grin. This was her life, this was Lucy's past, her childhood. His smile soon faded, however, easily being able to imagine how difficult this had to be for her. He thought back to when he and Steve had paid a visit to their old neighborhood in Brooklyn. He hadn't been able to get the surreal-ness of it out of his head for a week.

Feeling unsteady from the bombardment of memories and nostalgia, Lucy took a seat on the bed, Bucky sliding up next to her. He didn't know what to say, so he opted to simply put his arm around her and let the room rest in silence.

"How could he do it Buck?" She asked, choking through the tears clogging her throat. "I was just a kid, I trusted him." She paused a moment. "Do you know what he said, when he handed me over to HYDRA?" Bucky met her gaze, his heart constricting in his chest. "He told me that he was sorry. Sorry that he wasn't a better man. What kind of a cop-out is that? You don't get to dump your only daughter with a group of old Nazi freaks and then say 'sorry' and expect everything to be fine." Lucy held her head in her hand, trying not to lose it right there in her childhood bedroom.

"Look at me." Bucky said, tilting her chin up so she would face him. "He was an idiot, and I'll never forgive him for what he did to you. But you can't always let your past ruin your future. Your father is gone, HYDRA is dwindling, and with any luck will soon be gone altogether. The only one giving them power over your life is you. I'm not saying you should be thanking them for what they did, I'm not saying that in the slightest."

Lucy felt a hot tear spill over onto her cheek, but she didn't bother trying to hide it, not with Bucky. "What I am saying, is that you should focus less on how they did you wrong and revel in what went right, forget the rest. Hell, if you'd never been stuck with HYDRA, it's likely neither of us would even be here right now." He reached out his hand to gently brush away the tear from her cheek, his fingers lingering a moment on her skin. "I wouldn't trade that for anything."

"You've had to endure a lot of crap that a person was never meant to face. But you made it through and you came out on top." He said with a smile. "You're a hero and you can't even see it."

Lucy dropped her chin, her hair falling around her face. "I don't want to be a hero, Buck." She said softly. "I never wanted this. I just want the chance to have a normal life, to walk around with everyone else and feel like I belong. I'm not special Bucky, I'm nothing spectacular. People think because of what I can do and because of what I've made it through that I'm not afraid of anything." She paused, feeling her voice begin to quaver. "But I am, Buck. I'm afraid of a lot of things. Afraid that I'm not good enough, that I will let down the people I care about most. That I will lose them and be able to do nothing about it. Afraid that I can't be the person everyone expects and wants. Afraid that we won't be able to stop HYDRA. I never had the chance to grow into this body, this mind, this life. I'm still that anxiety filled eight year old who is both equally enamored with and terrified by the world, never knowing who or what to trust."

Bucky silently picked up Lucy's legs and pulled them over his knees before pulling her into his embrace. She didn't fight him and the fact that she didn't made his body relax. "You'll never have to figure it out alone. Not as long as I've got a say in the matter." He whispered softly into her hair that smelled faintly of apple. Someday, he hoped, she would see just how safe she was with him. "If you don't want to be a hero, then fine. We'll be damnedest, normal, non-heroic nobodies in the whole wide world. We'll eat kale and get a dog that we spoil way too much, and we'll spend our time doing whatever the hell it is people do for fun these days." He waited until a small smile slowly peeked its way out through the tears. "It's going to be alright, we're going to make it. Do you believe that?"

"Not really." She said with a sly grin. "But I believe that you do, and I'm sure you're going to convince me of it one day." She said, reiterating the very same words he had said to her the night he had broken the vase in his room.


	27. Chapter 27

_Krasnoyarsk, Russia_

"I'm really beginning to think dying my hair would've been the simpler route." Lucy muttered as she attempted to discreetly adjust the dark brunette wig atop her head.

"If you don't stop messing with that soon, people are going to start asking if you've got lice." Bucky murmured back with a smirk, slipping his arm into hers.

She quit fidgeting with her hair and instead ran her fingers over her long black evening gown, smoothing it out. "I very well could." She retorted. "Where did you get this thing anyway, a thrift store?" Bucky just smiled and told her to be quiet.

"I feel like such a goon." She said, fielding the glances from the other sharply dressed men and women all meandering about the large, open room. Music floated from where the band sat and filled the room with its warm presence—a welcome contrast from the weather outdoors.

"You look stunning." Bucky said before landing a kiss on her lips.

Lucy grinned and reached up to straighten his bowtie. "Well you definitely look like a goon."

"Oh, you flatter me too much." Bucky replied sarcastically, pulling her closer with the hand around her waist.

"Three at the door at the top of the stairs. That must be where the exchange is taking place." Lucy murmured nonchalantly as they continued across the floor, canvasing the room inconspicuously with their glances.

Bucky calmly checked over his shoulder to confirm her observation. "With the two at the entrance, that makes five."

"I think we can be safe in assuming the staff, that's eleven." Lucy said with a sigh as a server brushed past with a tray of glasses.

Bucky shrugged. "We've handled worse."

"But with fifty civilians added into the mix?" Lucy countered.

Bucky opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by the sound of someone clanking on their glass to get everyone's attention. The chatter in the room died down as everyone's heads turned to face the figure standing halfway up the sweeping staircase. "I wanted to take a moment to thank you all for coming to our event, it makes my heart sing to be surrounded by so many of my friends." The man bellowed joyously in his native Russian.

One of the men standing stoically in the hallway at the top of the stairs turned to murmur something to the one behind him, and the movement caught Lucy's eye. "Looks like they're getting started early."

"Before you all go back to enjoying your evening, however," the man continued, "Sasha and I have something to announce." He slipped his arm around the blonde woman beside him who blushed nervously and smiled. "We are to be married next month, and you're all invited to the wedding!" He finished, his voice full of genuine happiness. Cheers and applause broke out around the room and Lucy and Bucky clapped along politely.

Bucky sighed in agreement. "And I think I know what the distraction is supposed to be." He commented, motioning to the couple on the stairs smiling at the applause from the audience. "He just announced they're engaged."

Lucy's brows scrunched up and she replied with a hint of disappointment, "That's a shame. She clearly hasn't the faintest idea what she's getting herself into." She glanced at the young woman whose smile beamed as she looked up at her fiancée. For a moment, Lucy really did feel bad for her.

"I guess it's onto plan-b then." Bucky muttered.

Lucy looked up at him, her brows still pinched together, though this time inquisitive. "And how do you propose we get a hold of Korsakov with all these people here? They're all kind of staring directly at him at the moment in case you haven't noticed."

Bucky simply grinned. With a smooth flick of his wrist he whipped out the pistol from behind his back and fired a single round into the air. In an instant the entire crowd was shouting and scrambling to get away. "That's how." He said with a smirk.

Lucy simply stared at him with one eyebrow raised in judgement. "Really, that's your brilliant plan? So what do we do when they start shooting at us?" She questioned. As though responding to her questions, the echo of bullets ricocheting from HYDRA gun barrels sounded through the room and Lucy quickly dropped to her knees to dodge one aimed for her.

Bucky joined her as she crouched along the floor. "We shoot back, of course." He offered, readying his gun to fire again, this time at the HYDRA agents near the staircase.

Lucy let out a huff and begrudgingly pulled out two of the knives from the holster on her thigh. She still hadn't been able to touch a gun since Amsterdam, but knives had always been her first choice anyway. "So much for a simple mission." She muttered to herself. "In and out, no one will even notice." She said to herself, imitating the words Bucky had said earlier before they had arrived. Weaving between terror stricken individuals, she ducked behind a table that had been knocked over in the commotion.

She glanced back to see Bucky taking on several of the waiters so she turned her attention to the now four men at the top of the stairs, all talking quickly to each other. Korsakov and Sasha were both crouched on the stairs, their faces a mixture of shock and terror. Taking only a moment to aim, Lucy pulled her arm back and hurled the knife towards the group of men at the top of the stairs, the blade finding its target in the chest of the man with a beard.

He let out a cry of pain and the three with him, upon realizing what had befallen their comrade, all simultaneously trained their guns on the room below, searching frantically for their assailant. Lucy smirked, grabbed three blades in one hand and sent them sailing through the air at full speed. In seconds the men were all grimacing and clutching at their wounds. One man angrily yanked the blade from his shoulder and threw it to the ground with a growl.

"Don't think you're getting away that easy now." Lucy assured as she waited for her weapons' full effect to be realized. The man's scowl slowly faded as he slipped to the floor. She watched in amusement as he mouthed the word 'poison' to his fellow men and their faces all flashed with terror.

"I've got Korsakov." Bucky said, siding up beside her, his gun trained on the middle aged man cowering on the stairs trying to motion to his men to get him out.

"No!" Lucy said, her exclamation surprising even herself. "You could hit Sasha, she's innocent." Bucky looked at her questioningly and she continued, "She may have chosen to marry a monster, but she doesn't know that. And she doesn't deserve to die for it!"

Bucky thought about her words for a moment before responding. Lucy had a point, but doing things her way was going to make things a lot more complicated. "Fine." He finally conceded, still countering the attacks from the HYDRA agents pouring into the room. "I'll take care of Sasha. When you've got a shot at Korsakov you take it, okay?"

Lucy nodded and Bucky ducked out behind her, she presumed in search of a back stairwell. A few minutes later she glanced up to find him on the balcony, around the corner from the now unconscious guards. She nodded to him and in a grand leap he hurdled the railing and plummeted towards the unsuspecting couple who jumped in surprise when he landed next to them with a loud thud.

Korsakov fumbled to retrieve the gun he had apparently forgotten about until that moment. Bucky, however, snatched it easily away and secured a good grip on the piece. Making quick work of things, in an effort to avoid enemy fire out in the open, Bucky grabbed a hold of both of Sasha's shoulders and dragged her away, the gun remaining trained on a startled Korsakov.

"No! Let go of me! Leave me alone!" The young blonde woman shrieked as Bucky tore her away from her much older fiancée and down the stairs.

With Bucky and Sasha far enough from Korsakov, Lucy drew up one of her knives and took a deep breath before setting her aim. "Sorry," she murmured with a smirk as Korsakov's eyes met hers, "you throw parties, I throw knives." Blocking out the gunfire mixed with Sasha's shouting, Lucy extended her arm to release the blade, but felt a jumble of limbs bumping into her shoulder as the metal slipped from her fingertips. Lucy cursed under her breath at the tangle of party guests all fumbling on top of her. With a scowl she heaved them off of herself.

Anxiously she pulled her attention back to Korsakov and saw that while her aim had not been as dead on as she had intended, she had still managed to get him in the lower abdomen. She didn't have time to revel in her newfound stroke of luck, however, as she quickly had to make her way to the door to meet up with Bucky and Sasha who was now howling in distress and likely anger. Lucy felt a bit of remorse for the woman. She had, after all, likely just killed this woman's fiancée right in front of her eyes. Lucy reminded herself that Korsakov was HYDRA and she had just done the woman a huge favor whether she realized it or not.

"Who do you think you are?" Sasha shouted angrily in Russian as Lucy approached them. Bucky kept a tight grip on the woman, not letting her lunge at Lucy as she wished to do. Quickly Lucy scurried out the doorway into the next room, Bucky following closely behind with Sasha in tow.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sasha exclaimed in fury, this time in flawless English.

"You're boyfriend isn't who you think he is." Lucy argued back with almost as much fervor. "He was a weapons dealer for HYDRA and a lot of people's lives were ruined because of him! I did you a favor, you would have been married to a murderous monster!"

"You don't think I know that?" The blonde angrily spat back. "I'm MI-6 you idiot! And now because of you two, five months of work is down the drain. S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't the only one who cares about HYDRA, you know!"

Lucy felt her heart lurch to her stomach as the blonde woman spoke, and glimpsed up at Bucky who seemed just as shocked as she. "What are you talking about, you mean you knew Korsakov was HYDRA's puppet? How do you know we're S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Lucy asked, her heart rate picking up speed.

Sasha clenched her jaw and took a moment to compose herself. Still seething, she glared up at Bucky until he finally released his grip on her. "There's not time right now, we need to get out of here before we all get our covers shot to hell. Thanks again for that by the way." Sasha, who Lucy was now beginning to think's real name wasn't Sasha, picked up the hem of her blue silk gown and directed them through several doors before exiting through a window via fire escape.

"Robin Cooper, Special Forces." The blonde woman said as she turned the laptop around to face Bucky and Lucy who stood with arms crossed. The three were back at Bucky and Lucy's hotel room, which despite their skepticism at the validity of the woman's claims, had been chosen as their destination after fleeing the party. They didn't trust this woman just yet, but their hotel room was the only place they could count on not being watched or overheard.

"This is legit." Lucy informed Bucky as she shook her head, inspecting the screen Robin had presented to them. "Unless she just so happens to know how to hack into the MI-6 database and pull up a file of herself in fifteen seconds flat, she's telling the truth." Robin breathed a sigh of satisfaction and turned the laptop back around to find another document.

"HYDRA's been kidnapping kids from a handful countries for nearly six months now, using them for experiments. I was sent undercover to find out the location of the compound where they're being held." Robin said as she flipped through the database to find the pages she wanted.

Lucy shot a glance at Bucky, her eyebrows drawing together. "What do you mean experiments? What are they doing to these kids?" She asked, not knowing if she wanted to know the answer.

Robin flipped the laptop around again, this time the screen showing images of a young boy, she estimated to be no older than 8, lying helplessly in a filthy alleyway. His eyes stared vacantly into the distance, unseeing. Lucy felt a sickening feeling creeping up her throat as she registered the needle marks dotting his arms and neck.

Swallowing hard she turned away and took a seat on the bed. Memories she had long since filed away were now pounding at the door of her mind, each one demanding to be relived.

"We believe they're trying to revive an experiment from way back in the forties, trying to recreate their results." Lucy stared blankly out the window, her back to Bucky and Robin. "After the Allied's success with Rogers, Red Skull began working to perfect his own super soldier serum." Bucky felt his fists clenching of their own accord and he forced himself to relax. He had a sinking feeling that he knew exactly where Robin was going with this and he didn't doubt that Lucy did as well. "He ran into several setbacks, producing primarily flawed versions of the serum, including the one he dosed himself with. What most people don't know, however, is that they did have a few successes that—"

Her voice trailed as she looked up to see Bucky removing his gloves and suit jacket. Her eyes widened as he rolled up his sleeve to reveal the silver metal underneath.

"Shit, the rumors were true. It-it's really you, I—I—" Robin stammered breathlessly as she connected the dots and realized the infamous Winter Soldier was standing just a few feet in front of her. She scolded herself mentally for not seeing it sooner. She had been so caught up in the anger of her mission being blown that she entirely missed the fact that the man whose picture she had studied for hours, an integral part of that very same mission, had been in the same room as her.

Robin ran her fingers through her hair, her mind rushing to put everything together. "So Korsakov, he knows where they're holding these kids?" Bucky asked intently. Robin snapped back to the present and returned to thumbing through files.

"Not directly." She pointed to an image of a small keychain looking device with HYDRA's emblem engraved on the front. "But he's part of a group called 'The Architects' who each possess a cipher that they keep on them at all times. HYDRA has their own database, not entirely different from MI-6's or S.H.I.E.L.D.'s, some of it new, some of it left over from decades ago. Some of it, however, is so deeply encrypted it can only be accessed by using one of these ciphers." Robin leaned back in her chair. "I was hoping I'd be able to get my hands on it soon, but now it looks like any chance I had has been shot to hell." She sighed in disappointment before closing the laptop and setting it aside.

Bucky rubbed his jaw thoughtfully before asking, "And all the information about these experiments is locked behind this cipher?"

Robin rose from her chair as she answered, "Correct. They're calling the operation 'Krov' lisy'—Russian for 'Blood of the Fox'." Bucky flicked his eyes over to Lucy who sat unmoving, her shoulder muscles tense. "It refers to one of Red Skull's test subjects back in the day, the one they—"

Robin's words were cut off sharply by the hand slamming into her throat, pushing her backwards. "Who sent you, why are you here!" Lucy barked before shoving her against the wall with a reverberating crash.

"Lou!" Bucky shouted sternly, stepping towards the two women. Robin looked over to him, her expression one of shock and confusion.

"They sent you here to find me didn't they?" Lucy growled through gritted teeth, her face tense with rage. "I should've known the minute I laid eyes on you, you filthy, lying—"

"Lou!" Bucky reiterated, this time more forcefully. She turned her head to him, her face seething with anger. "If she were HYDRA do you really think she would have come in here unarmed and told us all of this?" Her chest heaved as she took in his words. Slowly she lowered her arms and Robin let out a pent up breath.

"I'll take it you're the Little Fox, then." Robin said as Lucy stepped closer to Bucky.

Lucy stopped in her tracks, clenching her jaw to restrain her anger. Something about Robin's tone seemed to continually set her off. Bucky flashed her a look, warning her not to do it.

"I'm surprised you didn't just kill me like all the others." Robin added, raising her hand to massage her now sore neck.

Lucy threw out the self-restraint she had been clinging to and turned on her heel, the blade already firmly in her grasp. "You have no idea what I've been through!" She snarled as she lunged towards the blonde. She was stopped by Bucky's arms wrapping around her and pulling her back. "She's begging for it, just let me give her what she deserves!" Lucy protested as she fought against his restraint.

Robin just stared back with a smirk. "I guess that's why you're the Fox, feisty little one aren't you." Lucy struggled against Bucky a few moments longer, but soon had to accept that her efforts were futile. "Relax, we're on the same side." Robin said as she slipped off her high heels and tossed them along the wall.

Seeing that she had calmed down and wasn't going to lash out again, Bucky loosened his grip on Lucy and took the knife from her trembling hand. "We want to see HYDRA fall as much as you do, so what do you need from us?" He asked, his eye still trained on Lucy.

Robin nodded, glad he was more focused on the mission than his partner. "They'll be taking Andre to the nearest hospital, our best shot at ever getting our hands on that cipher are by sneaking into his room and slipping it off him before they take him to the OR. We might have to take down a few of his men but with three of us it shouldn't be anything we can't handle."

"My knives are all laced with poison, it won't be out of his system until tomorrow morning at the earliest." Lucy retorted, her brows still furrowed. "You know he'll have a host of people around him as long as that's in effect."

"Well, like I said, it shouldn't be anything we can't handle." Robin replied back, a hand on her hip.

"I don't mean that he'll have a bunch of burly bodyguards around him." Lucy snapped back condescendingly. "I meant that there will be at least one doctor or two nurses at his bedside at all times." Robin shrugged as if to ask 'so what?' Lucy sighed loudly, and she felt Bucky place a hand on her shoulder again. "Contrary to what you might be inclined to believe, I don't in fact enjoy killing innocent people. Crazy concept, I know."

Bucky stepped in front of her and chimed in, "She's right. We do want to help save these kids, but if we are, we're going to do it right. No one innocent gets hurt, that isn't how we do things, not anymore."

Robin chewed on her lip, contemplating their words. "Fine." She said after a minute. "Have it your way, we'll go in the morning. I'll take the floor." She finished with a sigh before heading for the bathroom.


	28. Chapter 28

"Korsakov's surgery isn't scheduled for another hour, but you're still going to need to act fast. There isn't time to go exploring. Get in and get out, that's it." Lucy nodded as Bucky informed them.

"And you're absolutely positive he'll have the cipher on him?" Lucy posed the question to Robin who was in the process of slipping the communication earpiece into place.

"Believe me, I've been watching him for months. That thing is _always_ around his neck, he never takes it off." She paused a moment before stressing, "Never."

Lucy shrugged, accepting Robin's assurance. "For everyone's sake, I hope you're proven correct." She replied.

"I will be."

Bucky watched as the two women turned for the vehicle doors to exit into the mist laden alleyway. Before Lucy had a chance to bound through the opening, he placed a hand on her shoulder, her face turning back to him in hesitation. "Be careful in there." He said softly, but she could sense the genuineness in his eyes. "Don't do anything stupid."

Lucy flashed a smile. "When do I ever?" She replied lightheartedly. Reaching back towards him she quickly brushed her lips across his before swiftly hopping out of the van and rejoining Robin on the pavement.

"You two seem quite close." Robin remarked flatly as they made their way to the entrance of the medical center.

"And you have a problem with that?" Lucy asked, mimicking her partner's tone.

"Should I?" Robin replied without wasting a second. Lucy's mouth gaped as she searched for a rebuttal.

"I don't really see why our being together is any of your business." She replied, finally.

"When there's the possibility it could put me or my mission at stake it becomes my business." She said, setting her shoulders back.

"But it's not going to." Lucy countered, irritation permeating her tone.

"Good." Robin answered as she pushed through the clinic front doors.

Lucy decided she did not much care for Robin, but quickly had to force the evidence of such emotions from her face as they approached the nurse's desk.

"We're looking for a Mr. Andre Korsakov's room." Lucy stated to the tired looking clerk behind the desk.

"403," the clerk replied after searching through several things on her computer, "go up two floors and then head down the hallway; it will be at the very end on the left."

"Thank you." Lucy said with feigned graciousness.

"Didn't know you spoke Russian." Robin commented as she pressed the button for their desired floor.

Lucy shrugged, "Bucky's taught me enough that I can get by when I have to." With an air of sarcasm she added, "The advantages of being close with your partner."

Robin twitched her eyebrows in acknowledgement at Lucy's snarky comment, but didn't offer a verbal reply.

"Damn, we're too late." Robin muttered angrily as the pair peered through the doorway at the empty bed that sat inside.

Lucy turned and headed for the stairwell a few feet away. "Bucky, we need a plan-b; it looks like Korsakov's surgery got pushed up." She stated into the earpiece, and waited for Robin to fall into step behind her.

She heard a disgruntled sigh and the tapping of keys before he returned with a solution. "Okay, do you see a door straight ahead?" Lucy affirmed and the two women proceeded wordlessly through to find themselves at the rear of the cafeteria. "Now head to the southwest corner, there should be another hallway with three doors. Take the second."

"Three of Andre's men at your two." Robin murmured as she ducked her chin towards her chest, letting her blonde hair hide her profile. Lucy registered the men and diverted their path around several large columns adorned with greenery.

"It needs an access badge." Lucy reported as she pulled on the unmoving handle.

Hang on, give me a minute. You know I was never any good at this." Bucky said as he worked to override the system from the whirring laptop. "Remind me again why I got picked to stay behind as surveillance and tech support?"

"Lucy felt the handle click announcing it was unlocked, and quickly swung it into the room. "Because a metal arm is a lot harder to disguise." She quipped back with a smile.

"Ah, right. That ol' thing." Bucky answered with a laugh.

"When you two are done chatting can we get a move on things?" Robin chimed in with obvious impatience. "If we don't get our hands on the cipher before Andre goes under the knife, we may not get another chance. What are we supposed to be looking for, anyway?" She asked as her eyes traveled the room that as near as she could tell was the doctor's lounge.

Bucky cleared his throat and returned to focusing on the task at hand. "Coming up on your right are a bunch of lockers. Surely you can find a decent guise in one of them. Lucy and Robin nodded silently to each other before quickly heading to work at rifling through the contents of the lockers closest at hand.

A metallic glint caught Lucy's eye as Robin slipped the green nurses scrub shirt over her head. A charm bracelet slid around her wrist and she hurriedly unclasped it and dropped it into her pocket, hoping Lucy hadn't noticed.

Lucy, however, had already taken in the two sets of initials inscribed on the lone charm. She let a few seconds of silence pass before bringing it up. "You didn't just get assigned this mission on chance, did you?"

"I don't know what you mean." Robin replied, but it was obvious to Lucy that she was forcing the words out.

"These kids you're trying to find, it's more than just an assignment isn't it? It's personal." Lucy slid into a blue top and traded her jeans for matching blue bottoms.

A flash of emotion flashed through Robin's eyes, but she quickly shook it away. "Lucas and Daniella." She replied after a moment of uncomfortable silence. "I promised my sister I'd bring them back to her, and it's what I plan on doing."

Lucy nodded and pressed her lips together. The pieces were slowly coming together and Lucy was beginning to understand Robin's fervency that had been glaringly present ever since they had met. "We're going to do everything we can to make sure you bring them home safe and sound." Lucy said, and this time she really did mean it. Regardless of how she felt about Robin, she couldn't think about the kids being tested on by HYDRA without a pit forming deep in her stomach. The mere thought of what could potentially be happening to them made her feel sick and she had decided that even if it took everything she had, she was going to see this mission through.

Robin looked like she was fighting back tears but somehow managed a weak thank you without any of them spilling over.

"They've already got him set up in the operating room." Lucy noted to Bucky as the two women peered through the glass window.

"Do you remember Nanjing?" Bucky asked, and Lucy laughed.

"You think that will work?" She asked with a smile.

Bucky chuckled back, "Just don't do anything stupid." She motioned to Robin and they stepped into one of the prep rooms. Lucy grabbed two face masks and handed one to her partner.

"What happened in Nanjing?" She asked, accepting the mask and tying it behind her head. Lucy wordlessly pulled out a pair of latex gloves and snapped them on.

"Are you crazy? You think we can just waltz in there in the middle of surgery and swipe it off him without anybody noticing?" Robin asked incredulously, realizing what Lucy was insinuating. "I think they're going to notice that we're not actually medical professionals." She added.

Lucy smiled from behind her mask and raised an eyebrow, "They haven't even started yet. Besides, fake it till you make it, right?" She said hitting Robin playfully on the arm. The blonde turned to protest, but Lucy was already striding confidently through the doors and she had no choice but to follow.

"I've got a bad feeling about this." She muttered under her breath.

"Dr. Barinov, I didn't realize you were stepping in for Dr. Ovechkin." One of the men in blue scrubs said, and Lucy suddenly realized the comment was directed at her. She glanced down to see the name printed on the access tag clipped to the hem of her shirt indicating that 'Barinov' was indeed her.

"Oh—ah, it was a last minute switch." She said quickly, motioning for Robin to take a place at Korsakov's head. "Shall we get started then?" She asked, feigning confidence.

Slowly she stepped up to the table where Korsakov lay motionless, and took a glance at the results of her own handiwork just eight hours prior. Feeling the eyes of everyone in the room resting on her she swallowed hard and nudged around the injury site, pretending to know what she was looking for. "Scalpel please." She said, not knowing the name of any other piece of equipment to call out.

"He's already got a perforated kidney, are you sure?" The man next to her asked tentatively. The assistant silently handed to her the tool.

"I'd rather you not question me about every little thing." Lucy said as she inconspicuously shifted the blade in her hand until she felt a small hole form in the thumb of the glove. The man pinched his eyebrows together in confusion, but didn't press further. Lucy made eye contact with Robin to let her know to start working on getting the cipher.

Lucy raised the scalpel to Korsakov's skin, waiting for everyone to lean in, their attention trained on her. Slowly she pulled the blade across making a small incision. The man next to her started to speak but she cut him off with the raise of her hand. "Ah-ah, no talking, remember." He quieted and shuffled in place.

Amidst the questioning glances the staff members were tossing each other across the table, Robin managed to get her fingertips resting on the lanyard around Korsakov's neck. Behind her back she felt around until her hands came across the scissors she was looking for.

"Now I'm only doing this once, so you better pay attention the first time." Lucy said as she rested her left hand on his abdomen, the other still holding the scalpel. Intrigued by her words, those around the table leaned in another few inches to see what Lucy was doing.

With her right hand she poked around aimlessly with her scalpel, while with her left she felt the touch of the man's skin to hers through the small hole in the glove. Closing her eyes a moment to prepare herself she let the familiar feeling overtake her.

Several small gasps of disbelief whispered around the room as the incision started to close before their eyes. Robin seized the moment of distraction and quickly snipped the lanyard before pulling it noiselessly off of him and into her pocket.

Seeing that the stab wound was nearly healed, Lucy hurriedly exchanged the scalpel for a bandage and fastened it over the site just as she pulled her hand away. She glanced up to Robin who nodded in affirmation.

"What the—" The man muttered, and the other attendants all glanced at each other in confusion.

"Well I hate to stitch and run, but I should be going." Lucy announced before her and Robin quickly darted in the direction of the door. As Robin reached for the handle, another man burst through from the other side, bewilderment on his face.

"What—who is this?" He demanded, looking at the two women trying to hurry out of the room.

"Ovechkin, you're here." The man at the table said, still bemused by what he had just witnessed. "Dr. Barinov seems to have taken care of things just fine." One of the assistants next to him peeled off a corner of the bandage to reveal smooth and unbroken skin underneath.

"Barinov?" The doctor asked, no less perplexed. "She's out of the country for two weeks—" He turned quickly towards the two women but they were already gone.

"What the hell did you do in there?" Robin asked as they weaved through hallways to their rendezvous point at the back exit. Lucy didn't reply but simply gritted her teeth, trying to stay on her feet. Specks danced around her vison and she fought to blink them away. "Shit, you're bleeding!" Robin breathed, her eyes landing on the slowly growing patch of red on Lucy's torso.

"I'm fine." Lucy replied hoarsely, their exit in her sights. "You should know that, you've studied my life."

"There was nothing about this!" She exclaimed, slipping a supportive arm under Lucy's.

Lucy tried to focus on her breathing as they covered the last fifty feet to the doorway. "Let's just get out of here quickly, okay?"

Robin pushed through the doors, a pale faced Lucy in tow, to find Bucky waiting for them in the driver's seat. At the sight of Lucy he immediately leaped out and rushed to her side, leaning her away from Robin and onto himself.

"You drive, I've got her." He said quickly to Robin before ushering Lucy to the backseat. "I thought I told you not to do anything stupid." Bucky said, lifting her inside.

She lifted a hand cautiously to her side and peeled the fabric away from the wound. "It's not that bad. I'll be fine, I always am." She said, though her shallow breaths made her statement sound less convincing than she had hoped.

"Lou, he was stabbed." Bucky reasoned. Robin threw a furtive glance back to see Bucky's hands pushing Lucy's away. A slight grimace spread across Lucy's face as he applied pressure in an attempt to stunt the flow of blood.

"And apparently sprained his ankle too." Lucy added, trying to straighten her foot.

"You shouldn't have done that, it was reckless." Bucky chided sternly.

She attempted to shift in her seat, "I couldn't very well perform actual surgery, now could I? There weren't a lot of options, I did what I had to."

"You could've just stalled them until you had the cipher." He argued.

Lucy wiggled her ankle, feeling it start to repair itself. "They were expecting a surgeon. If I didn't do something quick they'd suspect something and my cover would've been blown."

Bucky sighed. "Yeah well you probably managed that anyway. A miraculous healing isn't something you typically see every day. When Korsakov finds out he'll know we were here, and he'll know we have the cipher."

"Well what would you like me to do about it?" She asked shortly. Bucky just sighed and shook his head.

"Does somebody want to tell me what the hell just happened in there?" Robin asked as she braked for the red light.

Lucy closed her eyes and let her head rest back on the seat. "What's there to figure out? I patched up Korsakov, you got the cipher, and we got out. What part of that do you keep getting hung up on?"

"The patching up part, as a matter of fact." Robin retorted. "What did you do to him?" She asked, posing the question for the third time.

The redhead looked at her quizzically. "Why is this so shocking to you? You've clearly already read my file, you know how I killed all the people that I have. It's the same idea." Bucky could hear the snippy tone returning in Lucy's voice and he shot her a scowl that warned her to back off.

The light changed and Robin stepped on the gas again. "Nothing in the information I was given said anything about those kinds of…abilities." She said, shaking her head. "We were under the impression that your serum had produced the same effects as that of the Winter Soldier. I see now that we didn't quite have the whole picture." Quietly she mumbled, "This changes things a bit."

Lucy shifted her position, the wound bleeding less profusely than before. "So what did you think the metal spine was for, decoration?" She asked sarcastically.

Robin turned to face them, her brows knitted together. "The what?" She questioned.

Bucky let out a sigh. "Perhaps you should start from the beginning, Lou."


	29. Chapter 29

"Buck, where are we going?" Lucy asked for the third time, her hands feeling the air in front of her.

"Don't take it off yet, that's cheating!" He warned when he saw her reaching for the blindfold covering her eyes. Lucy heaved a sigh, and he envisioned her rolling her eyes at him like usual. "Relax, we're almost there."

"You know I hate surprises." She argued. "Just tell me where we're going and why it has to be so secret."

Bucky just laughed. "Well that would defeat the purpose of it being secret, now wouldn't it? Besides you'll find out soon enough."

A minute later she piped up again, "I feel like an idiot walking down the street like this. I can't even see where I'm walking."

"Fine, you can take it off now, you made it." Joking, he added, "Only a dozen people gave you strange looks.

Lucy playfully glared up at him after pulling the blindfold off and handing it back to him. "So are you going to tell me where we are now?"

"Look for yourself." He said, stepping aside. She glimpsed up to see the Smithsonian building towering before her. "I had to get dressed up so we could go to a museum?" She asked unenthusiastically.

Bucky grabbed a hold of the door handle and swung it open. "It will make more sense once you get inside." Lucy remained skeptical, but agreed to follow him through the doorway.

Soft lights of different colors illuminated the room as the sounds of a jazz band filled the hazy air. Lucy glimpsed around the room to see an array of people milling about, some dancing, and some watching from the sides of the room. Lucy couldn't believe what she was seeing, "It's like it's straight from the forties." She marveled. Shaking her head she added, "What—how—"

Bucky smiled and gently pulled her arm to move her out of the way of another couple coming through the door behind them. Lucy turned to see an elderly man, she estimated to be in his late eighties, if not nineties, guiding his wife over the threshold. He was outfitted in a long outdated military uniform from World War II, and she in a faded blue dress, her gray hair pulled up into large curls. Lucy couldn't help but catch their infectious smiles.

"The Captain America exhibit is being rotated to another museum at the end of the week." Bucky said into her ear. "This was the museum's way of having one last hoorah before it gets moved."

"How did you know we were going to be in D.C. at the same time as this?" Lucy asked with a smile.

He shrugged, "Just a bit of luck, actually. I happened upon the announcement by chance, but seeing as Robin was already directing us in this direction so she could finish up her research with the cipher, I figured it was some sort of sign."

Lucy just shook her head, still not knowing what to think. "I don't know what to say, Buck. I used to dream about going to one of these when I was a girl. It's a beautiful as I had imagined."

Bucky couldn't help but smile at the awestruck wonder in her eyes as she tried to take it all in at once. "Better late than never, right?" He said, waiting for her to take his arm.

She laid her head on his arm, following him to the punch table, "Definitely."

Lucy held the glass of red liquid steadily in her hands as they watched the couples drifting about the dance floor. She couldn't help thinking what things would've been like if circumstances had been different, if the war hadn't happened and she and Bucky had met in their own time. She wondered if they would've attended a real dance similar to the one they were at now.

One of the exhibits had been moved to make room for the stage, and the band of white suit clad musicians all sat to one side. They finished a song and a woman in a long glittered dress appeared to provide vocals for the next song. Lucy closed her eyes and slipped her hand into Bucky's as the band started up again.

" _Chicago, Chicago that toddling town. Chicago, Chicago I'll show you around."_ The woman's smooth voice reverberated alongside the upbeat tune of the song.

Lucy's eyebrows furrowed, the familiarity of the song triggering something in her mind. " _I love it bet your bottom dollar you'll lose the blues in Chicago, Chicago."_ She turned to face Bucky who just gave her a knowing grin.

"This song." She muttered, "M—my mom used to have this on a record." She raised her hand to her forehead in disbelief. "I can't believe I totally forgot about that. She spent a few years going to school over in Chicago and said she kept it as a memento of her time there.

"My dad would always groan and complain whenever she brought it out, warning us that the Fuhrer had outlawed jazz music and that we were surely going to get caught." She smiled, reminiscing of her father parading around the house, the three of them all in their pajamas. "He claimed he hated to dance and that he was no good, but my mother and I knew deep down that the times she put it on were his favorite."

Lucy looked back up to Bucky who was still grinning, as though he had known this all along. "What are you smiling at?" She asked.

"I saw it on the side table while we were at the apartment." He informed. "I put in a request before we got here." With one hand he motioned towards the dance floor.

"Oh, I don't think so." Lucy protested, realizing what he was implying.

"What, you just said yourself, you used to love dancing." He said, not backing down.

Lucy blushed, "Yeah, when I was six! I'm not actually any good!"

He simply chuckled, refusing to take no for an answer. "Well then I suppose it's a good thing you've got an experienced partner. I was quite the ladies' man back in the day now, don't you forget." Lucy just rolled her eyes and begrudgingly followed him out into the center of the room.

"You don't get to complain now when I step on your feet;" she warned, "you asked for this."

Bucky took her hand in his, the other resting on her hip. "I wouldn't dream of it." He replied simply. Lucy closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest as they swayed to the music.

"Do you think we're really going to be able to get these kids out?" Lucy asked as the band dove into the chorus once again.

Bucky exhaled slowly before replying, "We've got as good of a chance as anyone. We've made it this far, there's nothing to say we can't."

"I know, I just keep thinking what if we're too late?"

"Then at least we know we gave it everything we had."

The song came to a close and the musicians all exited the stage as a speaker climbed the steps to the platform. He motioned for everyone to gather in front of the stage before beginning his announcement. "I don't believe our next guest needs any introduction, however, the board was adamant I come up here anyway." The man said and laughter echoed around the good sized crowd. "It is only because of Captain Roger's selfless generosity that we are able to present to you tonight such a wonderful and authentic experience." Lucy raised an eyebrow quizzically at Bucky who seemed to be just as in the dark as she was. "So join with me in giving a round of applause for our very own, Star-Spangled Man!"

Lucy and Bucky watched in puzzlement from the back of the crowd as the speaker exited the stage and a line of chorus girls clad in shining red, white, and blue filed onto the stage. "No. Way." Bucky breathed, his mouth gaping incredulously.

"I thought he was off gallivanting with Natasha and Clint?" Lucy whispered.

Bucky's eyes followed the familiar figure of his friend as he scaled the steps to the stage, outfitted in his USO outfit from many decades prior. "Apparently he took the night off." He said trying to stifle a laugh.

Steve took his place in the center of the chorus line and waited for their music to begin. He tried to act natural but it was obvious to the two of them that he was extremely uncomfortable as he tugged nervously on the skin tight uniform. The music began and they all sprang into action, Steve trying to hide the embarrassment and shame from his face. Bucky couldn't help but laugh, and he did his best to stay quiet.

"Stop it, what if he hears you and finds out we're here!" Lucy said punching him in the arm. "That would defeat the purpose of us being undercover with no contact to S.H.I.E.L.D." Bucky took a deep breath, trying to hold it in.

"I'm sorry, but just look at him, he looks ridiculous!" He said, not able to hold it in any longer.

Lucy watched as Steve unenthusiastically fake punched the man dressed as Hitler and delivered his line. She turned back to Bucky, her body shaking with the laughter she was struggling to contain inside. As soon as their eyes met she busted up, raising her hands to her mouth in an attempt to quiet herself.

"Shhh!" Bucky said fighting laughter of his own. Seeing an entrance to one of the walkthrough exhibits nearby, he grabbed her arm and they ducked out together heading for it. Once inside, away from the crowd they were finally able to let out their pent up laughter, Lucy wiping away the tears running down her face.

"We're horrible people aren't we?" Lucy said as she took deep breaths trying to compose herself.

Bucky stood with his hands on his hips. "He apparently agreed to it, so I don't think we can be blamed."

They both looked and realized they had walked into the Captain America exhibit. She sighed and leaned against Bucky's shoulder, "You know, the first time I met him I thought he was half out of his mind."

He chuckled and replied, "So did I. Though I'm still not entirely sure he's not."

Wordlessly they strolled through, looking at the different pieces of memorabilia displayed under the glass. Slowly they came to a stop in front of the wall dedicated to Bucky, both already knowing what it said.

"Do you ever wonder what it would've been like if the war had never happened?" Lucy asked, her arms hooked around his waist, his arm draped over her shoulder.

"All the time." He answered somberly. The both turned at the sound of someone entering and saw that it was the elderly couple they had run into earlier at the door.

"I've seen that fool dancing around on stage enough times in my life, what's one more going to do." The woman in the blue dress said waving away her protesting husband. Lucy smiled, her mind unconsciously envisioning her own life down the road.

The couple shuffled their way towards Lucy and Bucky who smiled and waved politely. "You two are such a lovely couple." She crooned, approaching the two of them. "You're a lucky man." She added. Lucy blushed and nervously tucked her hair behind her ear.

"That I am, ma'am." Bucky answered. The old woman nodded in satisfaction. She stared a moment before her countenance changed to one of contemplation. Shuffling around, she looked up at the picture on the wall, then back to Bucky.

Lucy nudged Bucky, worrying their cover was about to be blown. "You know, you look an awful lot like him." She commented thoughtfully.

"Gladys, stop bothering the poor kids." Her husband said, joining them.

She looked back and forth between him and the picture a few more times before announcing decidedly, "No, your nose is too big. And the chin isn't quite right."

"Come on Gladys, leave them alone." Her husband pleaded and ushered her away.

Bucky and Lucy watched as the couple hobbled away, Bucky's mouth agape. "Ouch." He said feigning hurt. "I take offense to that."

Lucy couldn't help laughing at his expense. "Hey, at least she didn't find us out. Come on, I think they're done out there." She said heading for the door, leaving him behind. "And bring your big nose." She added with a big grin.

Outside in the foyer the staff was working at getting the projector and chairs all set up. "Oh this is a good movie." Bucky noted.

"The Great Dictator." Lucy read. "What is it?"

"It's a Chaplin film, one of Steve's favorites. Then they started using it as propaganda for the war, which he hated, but somehow it only made him want to go fight even more." Bucky chuckled, reminiscing. "He forced me to go to the theaters with him three different times just to watch that thing. I wouldn't be surprised if he's the one who picked it."

"I've never seen a Chaplin movie." Lucy commented, and Bucky looked at her in shock.

"How dare you." He said sarcastically.

"What?" She asked defensively, "I've been kind of busy with a lot of better things to do." He simply shook his head disapprovingly as they picked their seats.

" _Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost..."_ Chaplin's character bellowed from the screen, passionately giving his speech, the movie nearing its end.

Lucy felt her throat tightening as she listened to the words, not so much because the speech was moving, though it was. Rather, it was because the words were familiar and she had just placed where she had heard them before.

" _You, the people have the power - the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure."_ Lucy felt overwhelmed at the deluge of emotions and memories swimming in her head. Quietly she slipped out from under Bucky's arm and scurried her way to one of the side doors, thankful that it lead outside.

Once out in night air she took several deep breaths, feeling her head clear a bit. "Mind if I borrow one of those?" She asked the lone man leaned against the brick, a pack of cigarettes in his hand.

"No problem." He said, offering one to her. "You look like you could use one. Rough night?" He asked as she took the first puff, letting it out with a sigh of relief.

"Something like that." She said, shrugging her shoulders. "You?"

""Something like that." He said with a forced smile, echoing her words.

"Lou, there you are. I didn't know where you went." Bucky said, opening up the door to find her standing under the glow of the streetlights.

"Hold the door." The man said as he put the end of his cigarette out on the brick and let it fall to the cement below.

"Good Luck." He said as he passed Lucy.

"What are you doing out here?" Bucky asked after the door latched shut. "Everything alright?"

Lucy didn't reply, but took another puff off the cigarette, letting the smoke billow from her lips. She hadn't smoked in years, but this time she was making an exception. "Do you remember the time we first met?" She asked finally, her eyes meeting his. His chest tightened at the pain he saw in them. "I don't mean on the Bus with S.H.E.I.L.D., I mean the first time we met."

Bucky took the cigarette from her hand and drew in a deep breath of his own, allowing her to continue. "I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't, you were pretty out of it for the most part. They had just brought you in, and you still had your Howling Commandos uniform on, though it wasn't in the best shape. I remember they strapped you down and all we could hear echoing through the room was your agonizing screams. They dragged me in and started shouting at me to fix you, but when I looked at you and saw that your entire arm from the elbow down was missing I knew there was nothing I could do.

"I tried to explain to them that I could only heal injuries, I can't just regrow an entire limb, but they wouldn't have it." Lucy could see it playing out before her eyes and she paused to take a long drag of smoke before continuing. "I couldn't have been more than thirteen, I was scared out of my mind. I was scared of what they were going to do to me if I didn't succeed, afraid of what would happen to you if I didn't try. They forced me to attempt it anyway, but of course it didn't work, all it did was prolong the suffering of everyone involved. Finally someone couldn't take your screaming and my crying anymore so they dosed you with morphine and threw us both in a cell together, hoping that somehow I'd get it to work."

Bucky sighed, the memory foggy and in pieces, but still there. "After a few minutes I heard you mumbling something through the haze of all the drugs they'd given you. The only English I knew was from what my mother had taught me, but the words you said stuck with me. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress." She said.

"And I began to realize you were quoting something, something beautiful and profound that I had never heard. I didn't think hope even existed anymore, but there you were telling me it did." Lucy closed her eyes, his words still committed to memory word for word. "The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people.—"

"And so long as men die, liberty will never perish." Bucky interjected, finishing for her. Finally he understood why the movie had hit her so hard. "Steve had us all memorize it—to keep us fighting when we felt like giving up—to remind us why we were fighting."

She lifted a hand to brush away a tear that had managed to escape. "I vowed then and there that regardless of what happened, regardless of what they did to me, I would fight to save those that couldn't fight for themselves. Clearly I followed through on that real well."

Bucky tossed the nearly finished cigarette aside and pulled her into his arms. "We didn't have a choice in what we did then, but we're making up for it now. Speaking of which, that's probably Robin now." He said, drawing the ringing cellphone from his pocket.

"Any luck with the cipher?" He asked, waiting for her reply. "Sounds good, we'll be back in just a bit." He said after a moment.

"She get anything?" Lucy asked after he hung up.

"The testing facility is in the Arctic, leaving as soon as we can." Bucky answered.

"Of course it is." Lucy said with a sigh. "I guess I better get the parka out again."

* * *

 **I apologize for the delay in getting this chapter up, I've been really busy! I hope you are all enjoying, there are only a few more chapters left! Let me know what you think, you guys who review are the literal best!**


	30. Chapter 30

"Why do I have the feeling this a terrible plan." Lucy grumbled from beneath the furry lining of the hood pulled tightly around her face.

"Because it is a terrible plan." Bucky answered. Robin pulled her coat closer together, shielding her face from the blowing snow and wind. "But of all the terrible plans we had the option of choosing between, this one was the least terrible."

Lucy just groaned and trudged further through the ankle deep snow. "Why did it have to be the Artic? It couldn't be Australia, or the Caribbean, or even a South American jungle. No, that would be absurd." She muttered grouchily.

"Looks like our company has finally arrived." Bucky noted, at the two women looked up ahead to see a trio of black dots approaching on the horizon. As they grew closer they could see they were vehicles, specially outfitted to endure the harsh weather.

"Remember, fight back enough that our resistance is believable, but don't take them out unless you feel like walking the rest of the way." Robin said as the three formed a group. "And try not to get yourself shot." She added.

"You ready?" Bucky asked.

"As I'll ever be." Lucy sighed back.

The landscape rested in the silence of the whistling wind as the three vehicles came to a stop surrounding the three figures. The sound of car doors opening and slamming shut echoed across the white expanse, and Lucy tensed in anticipation as half a dozen figures rushed towards them.

Bucky kept his feet planted, not moving a muscle, as two of the men scuffled towards him, their guns trained directly at him. The first hesitated a moment, a moment which Bucky quickly pounced upon. The guard was sent reeling before he had to chance to process Bucky's metal arm striking him hard in the shoulder. Swinging low, Bucky landed a hit on the other man.

Facing two opponents of her own, Robin lunged forward, sending on of the guard's firearm sprawling out of reach. Seeing the other raising his gun to fire, she dove, narrowly missing the bullet. "I don't think so." She muttered before she leapt towards him and kicked the piece from his grasp.

Lucy considered how easily she could rid herself of her aggressors if only she got a hand on them. Robin's warning flitted through her head as she dodged a punch aimed for her head, reminding her she didn't have that luxury. "I guess we'll have to do this the old fashioned way." She mumbled to herself before heaving her shoulder into the man's chest, knocking him down.

A few minutes later the three were sitting cramped in the back of one of the vehicles, Robin nursing a broken nose. "Did you really think you could just walk into a sealed HYDRA base?" One man asked snidely.

"I don't know, did you really think that mustache would make you look manly?" Lucy retorted, and the driver stifled a snicker. The mustached man's face quickly deepened three shades of red as he self-consciously lifted his hand to his face. Irked by Lucy's grin, he angrily struck her across the jaw with the butt of his gun, an action she didn't bother dodging but rather continued to smirk at him, busted lip and all.

"Calm down Richmond. Strucker says he wants them arriving in one piece." The driver reprimanded. The man named Richmond grumbled but relaxed back into his seat, keeping a glaring eye trained on Lucy for the remainder of the trip back to base.

"I'm afraid you'll find we're not as hospitable as one might hope." One of the guards said as they filed their prisoners out of the vehicle.

Richmond took Lucy's arm and firmly dragged her along with him towards the entrance. She hesitated as she passed Robin's shoulder. "Remember, if something goes wrong and they wipe me, you take me out, no excuses." Lucy whispered, so only Robin could hear.

The blonde gave a look of concern but nodded to satisfy her partner. "Promise." Robin swallowed hard as Richmond impatiently shoved Lucy inside.

"Whatever she just told you to do, don't." Bucky said, pausing beside her.

"Wasn't planning on it." Robin replied, reassuringly.

"Well, if I'd known you were stopping by I would've gotten the place ready." A man whom Lucy had gathered was Strucker said." He smiled, reveling in his humor. "I hope you don't mind waiting your turn. We've got something nice and special reserved for you don't worry, Fox." He said with a grin that sickened her to her stomach.

Robin's eyes flitted around the room anxiously, looking for any clues that would aid in the finding of her niece and nephew. Cots lined one of the walls, IV bags and various equipment surrounding each one. She strained to take in as much as she could as the guards pushed them on, down a cement lined corridor. Robin gulped as her eyes landed on the walls of the passageway riddled with scratch marks. Her heart beat faster at the thought of Lucas and Daniella being tortured to the point that they could have been the ones to leave them there.

"Hurry up and get them locked away." One of the guards said rounding the corner after them. "Boss wants you back at the bridge, something about the new recruits." Richmond and the two other guards holding Bucky and Robin nodded and shoved the three into their corresponding cells.

Lucy waited for the three guards to leave before picking herself up off the hard floor and set to exploring her newfound environment. "It seems HYDRA has upgraded to giving us windows now." She commented as she ran her hand along the smooth glass that lined the front of her cell. "How thoughtful."

"It's an aluminum and silicon dioxide, I've seen this before." Bucky said, testing the glass in his cell for himself. "Not even I could break my way through this."

"So we're stuck in here until they come back for us?" Robin asked, pulling at the restraints around her wrists.

"Relax," Lucy answered, "they may have improved their prisoner visibility, but their locks are still as crappy as ever." She said, inspecting the lock on the cell door. "Child's play." She added with smirk, reaching into her boot to retrieve two thin pieces of metal and slid them into the lock. Half a minute later she was swinging open Bucky's door and moving onto Robin's.

"How did you do that so fast?" Robin asked in bewilderment as she stepped out of her cell.

Lucy raised an eyebrow mischievously, "Don't you know? Foxes don't like to be caged." With a smirk she turned on her heel and headed for the door to her right.

Robin turned her focus to Bucky, her expression still questioning. "She has her hobbies." Bucky offered with a shrug indicating he wasn't surprised in the least.

"Is using overly dramatic metaphors one of them?" She asked and Bucky just laughed.

The trio fell silent upon entering the next room to find four guards turning towards them. Bucky didn't bother wasting any time before hurtling in their direction, the two women following closely behind.

Robin had just sent one of the men sprawling to the floor with a forceful kick to the sternum when she heard her name being called by a pair of young voices. Her heart skipping a beat she whirled around to see two familiar figures strapped to cots in an alcove of the room she hadn't noticed before.

"Lucas! Daniella!" She breathed, her mind barely believing what her eyes were showing her.

"Go." Lucy ordered, motioning to the two kids fighting at the straps around their wrists and ankles. "We can handle this." Robin nodded gratefully and rushed across the room to her niece and nephew's side.

"You're alive, I can't believe it you're really alive!" Robin exclaimed, shakily running her hands through Daniella's hair. With fumbling hands she reached down to undo the straps and pulled the six year old into her embrace for a few moments before moving onto Lucas's restraints.

"Are they okay?" Lucy asked as she and Bucky hurried over to Robin, the four HYDRA guards all lying limp on the floor. Both had lifted the handguns from the men and were now in the process of securing them to their persons.

"Not without a few scratches, but I think they'll pull through." Robin said as she slid the IV line out of Lucas's arm.

"They don't look like they've been operated on, there's no hardware." Lucy noted. "That's a good sign." A flash of movement caught Lucy's eye and her hand instinctively went for her gun as she twisted towards it. She relaxed when she realized it was only a young girl, not more than a toddler.

"Where did she come from?" Lucy muttered quietly and Bucky shrugged. "Hi, I'm Lucy. What's your name?" She asked softly as she approached the barefoot girl.

The little girl beamed, "I'm Addy, and I'm four!" She proudly held up four of her stubby fingers to show Lucy.

The red head smiled and knelt down to the girl's level. "It's nice to meet you Addy who is four years old. Now tell me, is that short for Adaline? Adelheid maybe?"

Addy giggled and shook her head. "No, that's silly!"

"Hmm, Addison then?" Lucy countered with a grin. This time the girl bobbed her head up and down enthusiastically.

"There's an Addison Harper." Bucky said, reading from one of the computer monitors as he scanned through lines of text. "It says Burlington Iowa, she's been here two months."

Lucy turned back to face Addy who seemed un-phased by the fact that she was being held captive and being tested on by HYDRA. With an inquisitive look she asked, "Where are your parents Addy? Are they here?" She knew full well they wouldn't be, but she was curious how the girl would respond.

The girl looked thoughtful, then replied matter of factly, "Miss Tricia says that mommy went to be with Jesus, and that daddy likes to drink so much that he might as well have."

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows, "Who's Miss Tricia?"

"She takes care of us all. She told me that if I'm a really good girl that someday someone will adopt me. She said that means I get to live with them in their house and that they might even have a dog!" As the young girl spoke Lucy connected the dots and realized that Addy had been living in a youth home before HYDRA got a hold of her and she let out a long breath. There was so much to process and no time to do it. They needed to get out of there quick; she could worry about finding Addy's rightful guardian later.

"Auntie Robin, I don't feel so good." Lucas piped up uneasily, and he looked pale. Robin bent down just in time for the boy to turn and wretch all over the floor.

"It's okay sweetie." Robin said, rubbing his back reassuringly. "We're going to get you out of here, and we'll get you feeling better in no time.

Lucy offered her hand, and Addy accepted it, placing her own inside. "This is my friend Bucky, he's really nice." Lucy said as she led the girl to where he stood.

She looked up at him with large eyes and Lucy wondered for a moment if she was going to be afraid of him. Her worries were silenced when a second later Addy was excitedly introducing herself. "I'm Addy, and I'm four!" Bucky just laughed and lifted her up into his arms as she giggled happily.

With Addy occupied Lucy marched over to where Robin and Daniella were consoling Lucas. Lucy tilted the IV bag towards her face and read the label. "Damn it, I was afraid of this." She muttered under her breath.

"What is it, is he going to be alright?" Robin asked nervously. By the look on Lucy's face she wasn't feeling hopeful.

Lucy dropped to her knees and pushed her sleeves up to her elbows. "They're dosing them with the serum trying to get the results they did when they tried it on me. The only problem is that's a very delicate process and not many can survive it. The younger they are the harsher the effects."

"But you survived it, didn't you?" Robin said, not wanting to think about what she was going to do if Lucas didn't pull through.

"Only just barely." She answered, shaking her head. "The side effects were so bad I nearly died several times. The only reason I made it was because of the hardware they gave me which acted as a buffer for my system so I didn't continually go into shock. They're apparently trying to bypass that step now."

Lucy gently placed her hands on the boy's arms, feeling the scars from repeated injections. "This is going to feel a little funny, but don't worry it won't hurt, okay?" She said looking into his glistening eyes.

"What are you going to do?" Robin asked, reaching out in hesitation.

"If you want him to live, then let me do this. Let go of him." Lucy said sharply, her patience running thin. Slowly Robin agreed to let go of Lucas and took a step back, pulling Daniella into her arms.

"It's going to take a few rounds." Lucy announced, taking her hands off the boy to recover a moment. "This stuff is pretty heavy duty."

"You two find a way to get the kids to safety, I'll head to the south wing to make sure everything is in order." Bucky said turning for the door.

"You're leaving?" Lucy questioned. "It's safer if we stay together." Bucky set Addy down and pulled out his gun.

"Someone's got to make sure we've got a ride out of this god-forsaken place." He answered. "I'll circle back around and pick you up at the east entrance."

Lucy nodded, knowing he was right. "Come on, let's get them out of here." She said, her hands returning the young boy's pock marked arms. "Addy come stand over here, you're going to stay with me okay?" The little girl nodded approvingly and bounded over to Lucy's side.

"How's Daniella? Is she fine?" Lucy posed the question to Robin who then checked the girl over.

"I'm okay." Daniella assured. "We were supposed to be taken to the freezer with the rest of them but they got too busy and left us here. They said they would come back for us." Her face was strong but Lucy could see the anxiety surfacing. The girl wasn't much younger than she herself had been when she had been given over to HYDRA, and Lucy's heart went out to her. Not only was she afraid for herself, but Lucy presumed she was probably feeling a sense of obligation to protect her brother. Lucy swallowed hard. That wasn't something any eight year old should have to go through.

"They're not going to get you, I promise. We're going to get out of here and I'm going to take you back to your mother, she's been dying to see you guys." Daniella forced a smile and pushed back her tears.

"What did you mean by the freezer, Daniella?" Lucy asked, contemplating the girl's previous words.

"The big room full of weird beds. They put us in there and close them over us. Then it gets really cold and we go to sleep for a while until they wake us up again." Lucy's stomach churned. She knew what Daniella was describing, cryo chambers. Lucy had no fond memories of the subject and it didn't sit well with her. Still, she didn't have time to think about it at the moment, more pressing things were at hand.

"Do you think he's stable enough to move?" Robin asked, motioning to her pale faced and drowsy nephew. "I don't think we have the time to find out." Lucy replied, not feeling entirely agreeable herself. "You get him on his feet, I'll get the guard's access card. Then we make a break for it and pray we don't run into any others."

Lucy scuttled across the floor to the unconscious pile of guards, Addy hopping along behind her. With the toddler clinging to her leg, Lucy rifled through pocket after pocket, searching for her desired item. Just as her fingers discerned the outline of the card her attention was seized by the sound of somebody approaching in the hallway.

"Get back!" Lucy instructed to Robin as loudly as she dared. Not wasting time thinking it through, Lucy grabbed Addy in her arms and lunged for the closet, latching the doors gently shut just as the line of men filed in. Breathing a ragged sigh of relief she turned to Addy, her messy and disordered braids illuminated by the thing strip of light peeking through the crack between the two doors. Lucy lifted a silent finger to her lips and Addy mirrored her actions, understanding to be quiet.

Carefully Lucy lowered herself to the floor of the cramped closet, and lifted Addy onto her lap. With heart pounding she cautiously peeked through the two doors. The air caught in her throat when the leader of the group turned directly towards Robin and the two kids cowering behind the cots. "No." Lucy breathed, realizing they'd been spotted.

"Get up." The HYDRA guard barked gruffly at the three individuals. Nervously Robin obliged, keeping her niece and nephew's hands firmly in her own. "Should've known we'd find you here."

"Please, you can do whatever you want to me, just let them go." Robin said, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

The man turned to his comrades with a laugh, "We did a bit of looking into you when you got here. Your sister's kids huh? How noble of you." Robin just gritted her teeth and continued to glare up at him in silence. One of the other guards was muttering something into his communication device and moved to relay the information to his boss. Lucy squinted to try and read his lips, but he was too far away to tell.

"But before we start discussing the terms of your imprisonment, there's something I'd like to know." Robin pulled the children a little bit closer to herself, and gripped them a little bit tighter. "Where did your two friends run off to? We'll find them either way of course, but it would do you well to make the process easier." Despite her pounding heart Robin fought to keep her stoic demeanor. "Right, well I'm a guy of second chances, so I'll give you one more try." This time he pulled his gun from its holster and pointed it in their direction.

Lucy scanned the room quickly, trying to find a way to get Robin and the kids out of there. She debated bursting out of the closet and taking on the men herself, but there was a very low chance of success in that plan. She was outnumbered eight to one, and even if she did manage to take down a few of them, Lucas, Daniella, and Addy would all be completely vulnerable, easy targets. She didn't have any weapons on hand and she concluded it was too much of a risk. Her pulse quickened. Time was running out and she didn't have a solution.

"Last chance." The man announced, his words only receiving blank stares from Robin.

"You wouldn't shoot us, your scientists need us for your experiments." She retorted.

"I think you overestimate your importance." He said flatly before rapidly firing off three shots. Lucy recoiled unconsciously at the sound and felt her heart plummet to her stomach. Fighting the tidal wave of emotion boiling up inside of her she quickly pulled Addy to her chest, shielding the girl's eyes. A hundred thoughts all raced through her mind simultaneously as she watched in dread as Robin and the two children crumpled to the floor, lifeless.

She fought to keep her ragged breaths quiet as she held her arms tightly around the girl in her lap. "Leave them." The leader of the group said before ordering his men to exit the room and start searching for the other two escapees. Even though she knew all the men had left, Lucy couldn't bring herself to get up; couldn't bring herself to look through the doors again.

"What happened 'Ucy?" Addy asked, looking up to her with large eyes.

Lucy felt tears forming and a pit in her stomach. She'd seen a lot of people die in her life, but this time was different. "Nothing, Addy." Lucy said trying to remain reassuring. "Here, let's fix your hair, okay?" Willing her hands to obey her mind, Lucy turned the girl around and began undoing the haphazard braids and redoing them. As she was looping the last hair band around, Lucy couldn't shake the knowledge that she was Addy's only hope of survival now. If she didn't get her out, no one ever would. She was entirely responsible for this young life.

Lucy finished the braids and gently brushed them in front of the girl's shoulders. In doing so her fingers came across a scar at the base of Addy's skull. Lucy's heart twisted again, knowing exactly what it meant. They'd given all of the kids GPS trackers, and she knew this meant they'd have no chance of making a clean getaway if Addy was with them. Unable to hold back the tears any longer she let out a small sob.

Suddenly the closet door was pulled open and light flooded in. Lucy flinched before realizing who it was. "Lou, thank god you're okay. What happened in here?" Bucky asked with obvious concern in his voice. He knelt down to help her up from the floor and Lucy saw the smear of blood on his hand indicating he had already stopped to check Robin's pulse.

"Is the jet ready?" She asked, knowing he didn't really need an explanation of what happened.

"Yes, but it won't be much longer if we don't go right now." Bucky answered.

"You have to go, Bucky. You need to get out of here." Lucy said, motioning him to the door.

He looked at her in puzzlement. "Without you? Lou, you know I'm not doing that." He said with a laugh, not knowing if she was really being serious.

"It's the only chance either of us have. Get out and find help and come back for me. I know we said we wouldn't contact S.H.I.E.L.D. until it was time, but I think now is going to be as good a time as ever."

Bucky just shook his head. "Lou, this is crazy, we're leaving right now, both of us." He grabbed her arm but she yanked it back defiantly.

"I'm not leaving here without her." Lucy said nodding to Addy who was still clinging to Lucy's leg. "They put a tracker in her— there's one in every one of the kids for that matter. I can't leave without them, there could be dozens more just like her." Lucy's eyes pleaded with him to go along with her plan.

Bucky thought a moment before shaking his head and answering decidedly. "It's too risky, I'm not leaving you here! What if they catch you? They'll wipe away everything that makes you who you are, do you really want that?"

Lucy stepped back from him slightly. "I don't care, I can't leave these kids Bucky. Find Coulson and get him to bring in a team to shut this place down. That's the only way we're getting everyone out, we don't have a chance just the two of us." Before Bucky had a chance to protest, Lucy grabbed the pair of handcuffs on the desk next to her and swiftly clasped one around her wrist and the other around the water pipe on her other side. "Go! Now!" She shouted, shoving the access card into his hand.

Bucky set his jaw in frustration before finally giving in. Still unhappy with the situation he dashed out the door and headed for his escape vehicle. "We're going to be alright." Lucy said bending down to Addy's level. Her words were as much an attempt to convince herself of the fact as to reassure Addy.


	31. Chapter 31

"I don't care what protocol says, you're getting a team together and we're getting her out of there." Bucky said, slamming his hand on Coulson's desk. "And if you don't, I'm going back regardless, and whatever happens, that's on you."

"Hey, look whose back! It's good to see you again tin-foil." Hunter said as he entered the room and lightheartedly slapped Bucky on the shoulder. "We were beginning to wonder if you were ever coming back. Where's shrink-wrap?" Bucky didn't crack a smile, and the death glare Hunter received from Skye informed him why.

"There's no need for violence, Barnes. You can take it easy, we're already in the process of getting a team formed." Coulson said, sliding a glass calmly away from where Bucky had made a crack in the wood of the desk.

Bucky wrinkled his forehead, "I don't understand."

"As it turns out we have one of our own being held at the same testing base, Deathlok." Coulson explained, standing. "He was captured while carrying out our last mission and we plan on getting him back."

"And Lincoln, too." Skye added. The name didn't ring any bells with Bucky, but as he was coming to realize, many things had changed since he and Lucy had left.

"We leave in an hour, you might as well tag along." Coulson said as he brushed past, heading for the door.

"Don't worry, we'll get her back." Skye said, moving to Bucky's side.

He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "I should never have left her there alone." Bucky shook his head.

"You did the right thing." Skye reassured. "If there really are all those kids there like you say, then it's good you're not taking HYDRA on alone." She turned him towards her and waited for him to look her in the eyes. "Lucy's strong and can take care of herself. She's going to be alright, don't worry."

Bucky nodded, appreciative that Skye was trying to help, and what she was saying was probably true. Still, he wasn't sure if he believed it just yet. He wouldn't believe it until all of it was over and he had her back safe in his arms.

"Why are you putting us under?" Lucy asked wryly. "Afraid because someone's coming?" She let out a laugh.

"Just put these on." Richmond ordered, shoving the pile of folded clothes hard into her chest. Begrudgingly she accepted them and backed into the small room.

"You realize it won't matter where you try and hide me away, S.H.I.E.L.D. is still going to find me." Lucy asserted to the two men on the other side of the door.

"Hurry up would you." Richmond replied impatiently. Lucy arched a questioning eyebrow at the gray tank-top and shorts in her hands.

"You guys do realize we're on an _Arctic_ base, right?" She said after exiting, her skin now exposed to the cool air. She held her hands out compliantly so they could put the restraints back on.

"We've found the cryogenic process works more smoothly when there's less…interference." Strucker said entering the room. One other guard followed in after him, Addy in tow. Strucker flashed his usual smile and Lucy resumed her wordless glare of disdain towards him.

Lucy heard the sound of planes overhead and grinned at Stucker. "Looks like time's up."

"Bring them." Strucker said flatly leading the way swiftly towards the cryo bay. The guards followed dutifully, dragging Lucy and Addy along with them.

Coulson circled up the team trying to get them focused. "Two teams. Skye, Ward, and Simmons on rescue and medical. Fitz and I will break in to missile defense and gather intel. May's with us for firepower."

"What about Barnes?" Skye asked, securing her gun.

Coulson turned to Bucky. "Stick with the rescue team until you've got a chance to look for Lucy. You run into any problems, they're your backup." Bucky nodded, accepting the conditions.

Bucky felt an uneasiness return as he set foot on the HYDRA base for the second time in twenty four hours. He pushed it away and let the adrenaline of finding Lucy take its place. "Remind me again why he's here?" Bucky questioned to Skye as they hurried through the narrow corridor, Ward up ahead of them.

Skye exhaled, "To be honest, I don't really know. Some brilliant idea of Coulson's I guess."

"You seem to be handling it alright for someone who wanted to strangle him the last time he was around." Bucky commented.

"Oh believe me, I still want to strangle him." Skye answered. "There's just a bit more on the list of things to worry about at the moment."

Wards and Simmons split off to find Bakshi, and Bucky and Skye continued on. "The main testing spot is up to the left, I remember seeing a few exam rooms with equipment in them. That would be my best bet as to where they're holding Lincoln and Deathlok." Bucky said, leading the way.

"I just hope we aren't too late." Skye murmured back with a sigh. "I can handle myself, go find Lucy." Skye said, motioning for Bucky to take the door to her right. Bucky didn't waste time arguing, and simply nodded his acknowledgment.

Richmond shoved Lucy through the doorway in front of him, causing her to stumble over the threshold. She glared back at him, but he only raised an eyebrow, as though to challenge her. "As you can see, there's been some updating to our system since you were last here. Things might not be quite the way you remember them." Strucker said as the group filed in.

Lucy surveyed the room and noted the truth in his words. The cryo process of her time had been crude and unsophisticated, both of which, this system was not. In the place of rudimentary metal boxes to be used as the stasis chambers were rows of state-of-the-art pristine pods, with covers all made of glass.

"You see, we found that using an amalgam of certain chemicals streamlines the entire process and yields more effective results." Strucker lifted the assortment of tubes running from the floor to one of the pods as an example. "Oh, there's still the matter of temperature of course, that much hasn't changed." He added.

Lucy felt the coolness of the concrete seeping into her bare feet and she disheartened at the thought of how much colder the cryo pod was going to be.

"The new method does provide one other advantage." Strucker continued before stopping in front of two empty pods, their covers hinged open.

Lucy's eyes continued to move across the room, pausing only a moment on the peaceful child's face she saw in each pod. How many were there? She hurriedly tried to estimate, eight? Nine? A dozen? "Yeah, and what's that?" She asked with a sigh that she hoped exuded disinterest.

Strucker just laughed at her attempts to sound indifferent. "Why we could eliminate the need for a separate process for brainwashing of course." He saw her eyes flash in realization at his words and the action made him smile. "When they go in, everything gets erased. A nice blank slate if you will. When we bring them out, everything new gets put in. Easy, quick, efficient."

Lucy felt her pulse quicken as he talked. If she got into that pod now, the person who came out was going to be someone entirely different, and she knew exactly who it would be— Little Fox.

"You have to imagine the thrill I got when I heard you had stumbled your way back onto our base." Strucker said as he motioned for the guards to prepare her and Addy. "I've been dying for a chance to try out my new toys on someone who's been around the block before, and you— well you've been around it more than anyone."

Lucy gritted her teeth as Richmond forced her into the pod and began attaching the array of tubes and wires. If it weren't for their thoroughness in being sure to cover all of their exposed skin, she'd have taken them right then. "You won't get away with this." She warned.

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong." Strucker replied, un-phased. "See, we already have." Lucy looked over to Addy and the man punching in the settings on the girl's pod.

"Don't take your victory lap just yet." Lucy muttered before kicking the glass cover of her pod, sending it sailing towards Richmond's head, landing with a hard blow.

"The hell?" Richmond spat, lifting a hand to his broken nose. Lucy didn't waste any time removing the wires and leapt from the pod, lunging for Richmond. She noted a jolt of surprise register in Strucker. Before the scientist could get a word out, Lucy was yanking at the cowl around Richmond's neck, leaving the skin exposed. Knowing exactly what she'd do if given the chance to make contact with it, Richmond instinctively raised his arms to protect his neckline. His reflexes slowed by the knock to the head, Lucy's hands moved quicker, her fingers wrapping around his throat before he had the chance to react.

The second guard was still fumbling with the controls on Addy's pod, trying to seal it quickly. The third stood dumbstruck at the doorway, seemingly unable to move. "What are you just standing there for, call for back up!" Strucker shouted vehemently as he rushed over to the computer. Hurriedly he typed in a series of commands and in an instant the overhead vents groaned with the force of being opened to full capacity with no warning. Lucy noted as she felt Richmond's energy slipping out of his body, the cloud of frigid air spewing from each of the vents overhead.

Stucker charged for the door. Lucy moved to follow him, but the guard in charge of Addy had since given up on the pod controls and was now lumbering after her. Feeling the adrenaline coursing through her veins, Lucy twisted her body, focusing her strength into a roundhouse kick that she directed accurately to the man's head. Using his body as a counterweight she threw him to the ground and drove her fist into his face before he could reciprocate.

With him knocked out, at least temporarily, Lucy diverted her attention to Strucker, only to find he and the third guard absent from the room, the large vault door sealed shut.

"Ucy, what's happening?" A voice behind her said.

The air blowing through the vents already making the room cold enough for her to see her breath, Lucy spun around quickly to see Addy sitting wide eyed in her pod. "Nothing sweetie, Lucy just had to take care of some of the bad men, okay?"

"I'm cold." Addy replied sullenly, reaching her arms out for Lucy to pick her up.

"I know, I am too." Lucy replied, taking the girl in her arms. Her first thought was to try the door, even though she knew it would be locked. Seeing that it was, Lucy hurried next to the computer, hoping against all odds that somehow she could disengage the lock down.

Setting Addy down on the chair next to her, Lucy began typing away, finding only one dead end after another. "I'm cold, 'Ucy." Addy restated through chattering teeth.

Lucy took the girl's chilled hands in her own and led her to where the second guard lay unconscious. "This should help a little bit." Lucy said as she held Addy's hand with one of her own, and placed her other on the man's neck.

Pushing away all the things vying for her attention, Lucy focused on transferring the last bit of energy from the man through herself to Addy. "Sorry." She murmured quietly, even though she knew he couldn't hear her.

She watched as the color slowly returned to the girl's face, and her face relaxed. "We need to get you wrapped up." Lucy said, rubbing the girl's arms. Turning back to the guard she fought with fumbling hands to get his jacket free before quickly pulling it around Addy's small shoulders.

Lucy's limbs ached from the cold, her hands and feet already long past numb. Her shivering only increased until she thought surely she would fall to pieces then and there. "Stay right here, okay? I'm going to see if I can get us out of here." She said, zipping the jacket tight around Addy, her legs tucked inside. The girl nodded and Lucy hurried back towards the computer.

"If you won't let us out, then we'll just have to bring them to us." She said seeing that there was going to be no way of reversing the lockdown without knowing the right codes. "All I've got to do is guess wrong enough times and it should set something off, right?" She posed the question to herself, her lungs burning from the biting, frigid air. Anxiously she typed in incorrect password after incorrect password, her hands feeling more and more like lead blocks each time.

Finally an error popped up stating she had made too many incorrect entries and that the system was going into full shutdown. Alarms screeched throughout the room and Lucy let out a sigh of relief. Now as long as someone else could hear it.

Bucky slammed his fist into the guard on his left, and let off a bullet at the one on his right. They were the seventh and eighth ones he had run into and he was losing his patience. He felt as though he had canvased half the base, and yet there had been no sign of Lucy. The fact that he kept having to pause to deal with HYDRA guards wasn't helping his aggravation.

"Where are you Lou?" He murmured to the empty room. As if replying to his query, the sound of a distant alarm bellowing out caught his ear. Bucky didn't have to think twice about it, he knew that somehow it was her. With new motivation he surged out of the room heading towards the sound.

"As suddenly as it had started, the shivering that wracked her body ceased and despite the muddled landscape of her mind, Lucy knew it was a bad sign. She didn't have much time left before she would pass out and her body would start shutting down. She looked down at her hands, so white she wondered if there could be any blood left at all. Trying to coordinate her limbs felt more like trying to use chopsticks, and she cursed whoever's brilliant idea the clothing choice was. "Do people not realize how miserable being cold is?"

Addy was starting to shiver again and Lucy had to accept that there was no way out from the inside. The only way they were getting out was if someone from the outside came in. She just hoped she and Addy could last that long. Remembering something Strucker had said earlier, Lucy snapped her head over to where the line of pods sat, each one holding a child. Hurriedly she scribbled a crude note, having to use both hands to hold the pencil.

Lucy stumbled her way over to Richmond and attempted to get his jacket off. She grimaced at the pain shooting from her extremities as she willed them to obey her commands. After nearly a minute with no luck she finally gave up and returned to Addy's side.

"It looks like we're going to have to share." She said softly through shallow breaths. Lucy helped Addy wriggle out of the jacket and she instantly curled into Lucy, throwing her small arms around the redhead's neck.

"Stay close to me, okay?" Lucy said as she laid herself on the cement floor, and pulled the jacket over the two of them. Addy curled her knees to her chest and Lucy pulled the girl as close as she could, trying to shield her from the cold with her own body. "We're going to be okay." Lucy assured, resting her chin on the girl's head. If she hadn't been so cold she would've cried. Nobody was coming, the one thing she had vowed she had failed to do. She had promised herself she would keep Addy safe and get her out, but now it was looking like her chances of doing so were gone. "We'll be okay." She repeated as she felt the wave of unconsciousness fighting to overtake her. Perhaps if she said it enough times it would come true.

Bucky picked up his already brisk pace as the alarms grew louder signaling he was getting closer. "Lucy!" He yelled as he beheld her motionless form through the frosted window of the heavy door of reinforced cement and metal. His hands immediately flew to the handle, but only to find it thoroughly locked. In a flood of adrenaline he slammed his metal fist into the door, still screaming her name. Something was wrong, she wasn't responding.

His anger grew as his attempts made only minimal dents to the door, nothing that would give him access to the room. With rage he took a few steps back and hurled himself at the door, ignoring any damage he might be doing to himself.

"Bucky, stop!" Skye shouted as she rounded the corner to see him repeatedly hurling himself at the unmoving door.

"She's in there freezing to death, I have to get her out!" He shouted back wildly.

Skye hurried closer, "Well you flinging yourself at a wall isn't doing any good. Move out of the way, I've got this."

"What are you going to do?" He asked skeptically, not understanding what she thought she was going to do if he, with all of his considerable strength, couldn't do anything.

"You'd be surprised." She murmured to herself as she outstretched her arms towards the door and cleared her mind. Bucky stepped aside and watching in bewilderment as the door and surrounding wall began to tremor, growing in intensity until the door busted entirely off, taking a good portion of the wall with it.

"Simmons, we're going to need you in here." Skye hurriedly said into her earpiece before rushing in after the anxious Bucky.

"Lou, stay with me." He breathed dropping to his knees and turning her colorless face up towards him.

Skye slid up next to him and pulled Addy out of Lucy's tight embrace. "She's still breathing, but just barely." She informed, picking Addy up into her arms. "What about Lucy?"

Bucky felt for a pulse a third time, her skin freezing cold against his own. "Nothing." He finally said, his brain still refusing to accept the fact. He shifted her limp form into his arms, hoping he could somehow will her back to him. "Don't you do this to me, not now." He commanded.

A crumpled piece of paper brushed against his hand as he slid it into hers, and he pulled it out with a puzzled look. Skye watched his expression change from one of confusion to one of dreaded realization. "What does it say?" Skye asked, anxious to leave.

Bucky looked up at the rows of cryo pods and Skye followed his gaze. "They've all had their minds wiped, and if we pull them out we'll have an army of kids, intent on fulfilling HYDRA's homicidal bidding."


	32. Chapter 32

"Circulation of blood to her extremities has been cut off for an extended period of time." Simmons informed hurriedly as she pulled another heated blanket over Lucy's motionless form. "I'm just saying we need to consider the fact that odds are she's already gone."

"She's not gone!" Bucky shouted back defiantly, his tone elevated.

"Bucky calm down." Skye interjected, placing a firm hand on his arm.

"She isn't gone." He reiterated, this time more calmly.

"Look, I want her to pull through, too, believe me. But ignoring the facts isn't what's going to help her." Simmons replied defensively. "I just don't want you making it harder on yourself by getting your hopes up about something that isn't a guarantee."

Bucky shook his head, "I'm not giving up on her. If Steve could make it seventy years in an iceberg, she can make it through this."

"I'm going to do everything I can." Simmons said softly, not knowing what else to say.

"Come on, let's give her some room." Skye said, nudging him along. Reluctantly he followed.

Skye lead the way through the Bus, making her way to the garage. Choosing a section of the metal balcony, she took a seat on the edge, her arms resting on the lower rung of the railing while her legs dangled off the side.

"You can't blame yourself for this." Skye said as Bucky lowered himself to take a seat next to her. She recognized the look in his eyes and knew just what he was thinking.

Bucky sighed. "That's what everyone keeps telling me.

"Well it's true." Skye replied. "You didn't have control over what they did, I mean come on, it's HYDRA."

"I could imagine it pretty well." He said unconvinced. "But I still left her there."

Skye wrinkled her forehead, "If you hadn't, all these kids would be lost. None of them would be able to see their families again." She said looking down at the rows of pods lined up and down the garage floor. Fitz was scuttling between rows, cataloging data on each one. Coulson and May stood off to the side, conversing to themselves.

The two watched in silence for a few moments. Skye glimpsed over to see what he was twirling around in his fingers, and her heart sank when she realized what it was.

"Did she know?" Skye asked softly.

Catching her glance, Bucky looked down at the object in his hands. "One last job and we were done. We said we'd be out." He said soberly. "At least that was the plan. I guess it's my own fault for not taking my chance when I had it; now it looks like I might not get another one."

"I'm really sorry." Skye said, wishing there were something she could say that would make things better.

"So am I." He answered. The diamond gleamed up at him in mocking irony, and he felt his chest tighten. Unable to look at it any longer he shoved the ring back into his pocket with a sigh.

"Wheels down in five." May announced a few hours later, and Bucky sat up in his chair. He turned his face towards Lucy, his eyes lingering over the familiar curves of her face. The way her eyelashes rested lightly against her skin. After he and Skye had returned to the room, Simmons had informed him that once they got back to the base with the rest of her equipment they'd know just how extensive the damage was and what the chances of survival were.

Carefully he unwrapped one of her hands, the skin feeling so warm and full of life from the heat packs, that he could nearly forget the fact that they hadn't been able to draw a pulse on her for the last three hours. Gently, he placed it in his own. "I don't know if you can hear me—wherever you are," Bucky said softly, "but if you can, I need you to fight. Fight to come back to me." He leaned his elbows forward on the bed and rested her hand against his cheek.

"I promised you I'd never give up on you, so don't make me." Wordlessly he retrieved the ring that had been weighing heavily in his mind more so than his pocket. "I told you I'd stick with you till the end, and I promised I'd prove it to you." He said as he slipped it carefully onto her finger. "Come back to me so I can do that."

Bucky felt the plane jostle slightly, telling him they had just touched down. He took a deep breath and let it out, clearing his mind. Knowing Simmons would soon be returning to help move Lucy, he quickly replaced the wraps on her hand and laid it gently back at her side.

"Buck? Is that you?" Bucky heard his name being called out, pulling him from his dozing. He heard it again and drowsily forced his eyes open, his heart jumping when he realized who had called to him.

"Lou." He breathed with a heavy sigh of relief. "You're awake." His mouth turned up in a smile and he worked to rub the sleep from his eyes. "How are you feeling?" He asked, pulling his chair closer to the head of the bed.

Lucy grimaced as she lifted a hand to her forehead. "A bit like roadkill." She responded, trying to produce a smile. "What did I miss?"

"How much do you remember?" Bucky asked.

Lucy pinched her brows together attempting to think back. "Not a whole lot." She answered weakly. "Strucker had initiated the lockdown in the cryo bay, and I—" Her eyes widened in a flash of panic, "Addy." She whispered, looking up to Bucky with anxious eyes. She moved to get up but Bucky quickly reached a hand out to stop her.

"She's fine." He assured, and watched as she breathed a sigh of relief. "She's been resting most of the time, but Skye's been keeping her pretty well occupied." Bucky handed her a glass of water and she gladly accepted. "Fitz and Simmons found a way to reprogram the pods, so they were able to get the kids out without the HYDRA intel being re-uploaded. Skye's been helping track down their families; they're out dropping off the last one now I believe. "

"But they still don't remember anything?" Lucy noted.

Bucky nodded. "Really, it's probably for the better. They saw a lot of heavy stuff for their age, at the very least, they've got a fresh start now."

"What about Addy? Did they find the youth home she was at?" Her voice wavered and he knew whatever answer he gave would be bittersweet.

"Yes." He responded softly. "But Skye is pretty adamant that she isn't taking Addy back there. She said the woman directing the place shouldn't even have been allowed around kids let alone being responsible for thirty of them." He paused, not wanting to finish the rest, but he knew Lucy would find out at some point.

"She never reported Addy missing. Apparently she's been involved in some less-than-legal matters and didn't want authorities looking into the place." He saw her tense at the words, undoubtedly angry. "Skye said she's seen enough of those kinds of people in her life and she wasn't about to let Addy go back there to grow up the same way she did."

Lucy couldn't respond for a few moments, trying to keep herself from getting worked up. "You know it's funny." She said finally. "Back when I started working for S.H.I.E.L.D. in New York, I had a friend who was basically the one to first welcome me and show me around. She was a fairly private person, but she would often tell me about her son, and her eyes would always light up. When the Battle of New York happened, the whole department was set into a frenzy and it was everything we could do to keep people from busting out into the streets.

"She came up to me and told me that she was going out to get her son, and that nothing I said was going to stop her so I shouldn't even try." Lucy laughed. "Of course I had to try anyway. I never saw her again after that, and I never could understand why she was so quick to risk everything." She looked down at her lap. "But I do, now."

"Simmons said the only reason Addy made it at all was because you transferred so much of your own energy to her. If you hadn't passed out first, you wouldn't be here, Lou." Bucky said, wrapping her hand in his own, his eyes showing concern.

"And I'd do it again." She responded, shaking her head. "In a heartbeat, I would." She looked up at him with pleading eyes that made his heart flutter.

"So what are you going to do?" He asked.

She felt a tear roll down her cheek and she lifted a hand to brush it away. "I don't know Buck. But I can't do nothing." Lucy sighed. "She needs someone to look after her, someone who can answer her questions and will understand what she's going through. But what am I supposed to do, I don't know anything about raising a kid." She closed her eyes, feeling defeated and at a loss for solutions.

"Then I guess it's a good thing you won't have to figure it out alone." Bucky replied simply. When she opened her eyes to look at him questioningly, he lifted her hand so she could see. A faint smile crossed his lips as he watched her face contort with realization.


	33. Chapter 33

_Detroit, Michigan_

"I swear, if that kid calls me 'Herman-German' one more time—" Bucky grumbled to Lucy as they sat watching the young blonde haired kid run back to the living to rejoin his cousins.

"You wouldn't do anything." Lucy replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Might I remind you this is still all your fault?" Bucky retorted defensively.

Lucy chuckled. "For the last time, I gave you the chance to pick your own name! But apparently the task was too beneath you. So Herman German you shall forever be."

Bucky sighed in defeat. "I'm still getting you back for this someday, just you wait."

"Mm-hmm, whatever you say." Lucy answered with a smirk.

"I hope Caiden isn't giving you too much trouble." A woman's voice said behind them, coming from the kitchen. Lucy spun around to find it had come from Peter's wife Nina. A basket of unfolded laundry sat in her hands. "He can be a bit much at times." She added as she hefted the basket onto the counter.

"Not at all." Lucy smiled back. "The kids are great."

Another woman entered, Nina's mother in law, and she made her way to the counter. "Here, let me help with that." She said, reaching for the basket."

"Oh, that's alright Margaret, I can handle it." Nina assured. "You should go rest in the front room with dad, I think they were talking about getting the cards out soon."

"Nonsense." The gray haired woman said waving away her daughter in law. "If anyone should be resting, it should be you." She added, motioning to Nina's protruding abdomen. Knowing any further argument was going to get her nowhere, Nina sighed in acceptance and stepped over to let the older woman join in.

"I'm really glad you guys could come stay with us, even if it's just for a week." Nina said, directing her words to Lucy and Bucky across the counter. "Peter was so excited to tell us all about you two when he got back from Germany, we couldn't wait to meet you for ourselves."

"We're just grateful that you were so eager to have us. This has truly been wonderful." Lucy answered. "You have a beautiful family." She glanced over to the living room where half a dozen children of various ages were all squirming about, playing some sort of tag while one of their uncles tried to dodge airborne nerf pellets.

Margaret piped up, holding a pair of worn out cargo shorts in front of her, "It's a good thing you've brought Addy, we were beginning to wonder if there were ever going to be any girls to even out all these rambunctious youngsters."

Nina sighed and lifted a hand to her stomach, "After four boys, we're desperately hoping for a girl." She set a stack of shirts aside. "We're waiting until he or she is born to find out, but I'm not getting my hopes up just yet."

Lucy smiled, "Well I wish you luck whatever it turns out to be. We've found that you don't get an instruction manual either way."

"Oh don't I know it." Nina replied lightheartedly. "Addy seems to be warming up to everyone pretty good though." She commented.

"She's never been scared of much." Lucy replied simply.

Nina looked past Bucky's shoulder and chuckled. "Speaking of which, it looks as if she's made a new friend."

Lucy and Bucky both turned to see Peter walking in, Addy sitting happily in his arms. Somehow she had gotten a hold of a pack of stickers and was now placing them sporadically across his face. "I rather think it becomes me." He stated, setting the giggling Addy down on the counter so that her short legs could hang off the side. Carefully he set to work peeling the baby animal stickers from his face.

Lucy opened her mouth to make a comment but was interrupted by the ringing of her cellphone, buzzing in her pocket. She and Bucky exchanged brief glances, both knowing there were only a handful of people who had that number. "I should probably take this, I'll be just a minute." She said before excusing herself and heading to the front door and the porch just beyond.

Feeling the door latch behind her, Lucy lifted the phone to her ear. "I thought the whole point of us taking some time off was to get away from work."

"In our line of work 'time off' is a term used loosely." Coulson voice stated from the other side of the line.

Lucy sighed, feeling the warm breeze of the outdoors drifting over her arms. "Where are you?"

"Naval carrier off the coast of Myanmar. Bit of a standoff with Jiying and her army of Inhumans. I'm sending coordinates to you now, there's a quinjet docked forty miles from your location."

"Coulson—" Lucy interrupted.

"Look I know you said you needed some time away, but there isn't time for us to argue about this. Morse is out of commission and Hunter and May are still tied up with bringing her back. This isn't me asking, this is me telling you we need backup, and you two are the only ones I know I can trust right now." Coulson answered hurriedly, but emphatically.

Bucky stepped out through the front door a few minutes later to see Lucy leaning against the railing, one arm crossed over the other. "You realize we don't actually work for you anymore." She stated into the phone.

"This isn't about whose on the payroll, this is about doing the right thing. We're in over our heads here and we could really use you backing us up." Coulson said from the other side.

Lucy sighed once more, thoughtful. "We'll think about it, but I'm not promising anything." Coulson affirmed, then clicked off leaving her in silence.

"We're not going." Bucky said taking a spot next to her along the railing.

Lucy slid the phone back into her pocket. "You don't even know what it is."

"It doesn't matter." He said shaking his head. "We promised each other we were done, and this time I intend for us to actually keep that promise."

"Buck, the team is in trouble, what do you propose we do, just hang them out to dry?" Lucy countered.

"Whatever mess they got themselves into this time is their problem. We don't work for S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore, we're not responsible for cleaning up their messes." He answered firmly.

Lucy ran a hand through her hair. "I know we said no more fighting, no more missions, but this is different. This is helping out someone in need."

"Don't you see? That's exactly what we did last time, helping someone in need, and look where it got us. I nearly lost you, Lou, and I'm sorry but I'm not doing that again." He insisted, placing a firm grip on her arm. Peter watching silently from inside as Lucy and Bucky argued on the porch. The women were too busy working through the mound of clothes to notice. Addy sat quietly on the counter, distracted by the page of baby ducks in her hand.

"Is this really the way we want to live? Shying away from things because of fear?" She placed her hands on her hips and shook her head softly. "I don't want that to be us, Buck. It's not who we are."

"We're not the same people we used to be." Bucky argued. "We didn't used to have anything to lose, but we do now. There are people who depend on you, Lou. People who would be affected if something happened to you. It isn't about being afraid, it's about realizing that anything you do could come back around to the people you care about."

"Don't lecture me about how my actions affect others." Lucy said shortly. "You don't think I understand that? I would do anything for you, you know that. I'd give my life if it meant Addy was safe, hell I practically did, and I'd do the same for any one of those people in there. I'd do it in a heartbeat."

"So why do you insist on inching yourself as close to that possibility at every opportunity?" Bucky asked, his voice rising.

"Because it's the right thing to do!" She exclaimed. "Coulson and the team are in real trouble, you know as well as I do they wouldn't have called us up unless they absolutely had to." She took a moment to bring her tone back down to one of calm. "You know that I would be devastated if something happened to you, just as you would if something happened to me, but this is bigger than us. We don't have the luxury of worrying about ourselves, not when others are worried about the people they care about and can't do anything about it."

Bucky turned away, biting his tongue. "Do you really want to go?"

"No." Lucy answered simply. "But I think we need to."

He exhaled slowly. "I guess it's decided then."

Lucy pinched her lips together. She hated when Bucky got like this, agreeing even when he clearly disproved of the idea in question. Wriggling under his arm she wrapped her own around his waist. "I guess we should go give our excuses for leaving." She said with a sigh after a few minutes of both standing in silence. "I was really beginning to like it here."

A few minutes later the two re-entered the house, Nina and Margaret just finishing up the laundry. "Here, I'll show which clothes go in which room." Nina said as the two women gathered the stacks in their arms and headed for the stairs.

"Everything alright?" Peter asked.

Lucy forced a smile, "Oh it's nothing it's just work. They called and said they needed someone last minute." She hesitated a moment. "I hate to have to ask this, especially with it only being the second day of our week here, but would it be possible for you guys to look after Addy, just for a few days until we can get everything sorted out at work?"

"Of course, you don't have to worry about it, we're more than happy to have her." He looked down at the brown haired girl who was eagerly waiting to slap a bear cub to his forearm. She erupted into more giggles and he just laughed in return. "You know who I bet wants some stickers?" He said offering to help the girl down. "Uncle Mark loves stickers, especially the kitten ones!"

Addy quickly looked over to the living room where Mark was lying flat on the living room floor, exhausted from being repeatedly dog piled on by the herd of boys. Her smile widening she took off in his direction, sticker pack flapping wildly behind her.

"Just stay safe, okay." Peter said once the girl was gone and he knew no one else was going to overhear him. Lucy sent him a questioning glance. "Look I know you're not really travel assistants." He said with a chuckle.

"W—what do you—" Lucy stammered quickly, trying to figure out how Peter had seen through their cover so quickly.

"Relax Alisse it's fine. Or should I say Lucy?" Lucy's heart rate sped up, and Bucky felt her squeeze his hand a little tighter. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Peter assured. "And I don't need to know where you're really going, honestly I doubt I even want to know."

"But—how did you—" Lucy questioned.

Peter glanced over to Bucky. "While getting everything squared away with your father's apartment I—"

"Wait, you know Fredrick's my father?" Lucy asked incredulously, trying to keep her voice down.

"As I was saying," Peter continued, ignoring her interjections, "while I was dealing with it I became a bit of a history buff, particularly with things surrounding the Second World War. I'm sure you could imagine my surprise when one of the faces in the books staring back at me was the same one I had just seen in person a few weeks earlier."

Lucy and Bucky both still stood tense and unmoving. "Of course I then had to do some more research on this 'James Barnes' and eventually I started connecting the dots."

"But how did you know who I was?" Lucy asked, her eyebrows still pinched together.

"Well that was a bit more difficult, in the end it was the photographs that gave it away." Peter reached into his pocket and pulled out a faded photo of Lucy at eight years old. "I had noticed the resemblance before, but didn't think anything of it, attributing it to genetics. But since I'd already figured out about your friend here, I was able to think about it in a new light."

Lucy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You don't seem too freaked out for someone who found out they've got two ghosts standing in their house."

Peter shook his head calmly. "I get it. I mean not the whole not aging and whatever deal that you've got going on, that still makes no sense to me, but I get why you felt the need to hide it. I'll admit I was a bit freaked out at first, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. You needed to protect yourselves, you needed to protect Addy, and you wanted to protect us."

"So you're saying no one else knows?" Bucky asked.

Peter nodded. "Your secret is safe with me. Just knowing there is someone out there doing something to protect us is good enough for me."

Lucy's face relaxed and she gave him a forced smile. "I don't really know what to say."

"Don't say anything." He said waving them off. "Just go do whatever it is you have to do, I'll cover for you."

"Second quinjet ready to land." Coulson sated.

Skye turned towards him from where she was sitting. "Who else is coming; who did you call?" Coulson didn't reply but his silence answered her question. "Coulson, they left the team for a reason. Don't you think they've sacrificed enough to deserve at least some time off before calling them back in?"

"Skye, your mother can suck the life out of someone just by touching their skin." Coulson said flatly. "Now I know you've got powers of your own, but do you really think we're prepared to deal with this sort of thing?" She simply stared back, not having a response. A few seconds later she watched the screen showing the two familiar figures step out of the quinjet and board the ship.

"Might as well give them a proper welcome to this nuthouse." Skye commented before rising from her chair and heading for the door.

"I'm assuming Coulson filled you in already." Skye said after greeting her friends.

"Partially." Lucy said.

"Though somehow I get the feeling it's going to be a bit of trial and error regardless." Bucky added.

Skye nodded, leading them inside. "Every Inhuman is different, so there are no set rules. But we aren't bad people, just mislead." She added quickly. "We don't want to kill them if we can help it, they don't understand the side they're fighting for."

"How are you doing with that, by the way? The whole 'Inhuman' thing." Lucy asked.

Skye shrugged, "It's been an adventure I guess. There's a lot to process and not a whole lot of time to do that in." The trio proceeded down a second flight of stairs to the lower deck. She handed each of them a loaded I.C.E.R. and said, "Basically, keep them busy as best you can."

"Where are you going?" Lucy asked when she saw Skye had no intentions of sticking with them.

"To find my mother." She said simply. "Oh, and I almost forgot. If you see my dad wandering around, just…tell him to move on or something." She added with a shrug and then hurried down the hall.

"Who the hell is her dad?" Lucy asked after Skye disappeared.

"No idea," Bucky replied, "but I don't think that's him." Lucy turned to follow his gaze only to see an angry looking woman charging at them.

"This was definitely not in my training." Lucy noted as the woman leapt into the air and morphed into a bear before her feet returned to the ground. "Is it bears you're supposed to play dead with, or is that something else?" She said as she dodged one of the woman's sharp claws.

"Somehow I get the feeling it doesn't apply in this situation." Bucky replied back as he swung around the bear, wrapping his arms around its neck. It let out a loud snarl before morphing into a cat, slipping easily out of his grip. It ran quickly behind his back and he turned to follow it. In a moment it had grown to a tiger, fangs bared and tail flicking behind it.

A rope off to the side caught Lucy's eye and she rushed to cut it free from its stronghold, leaving her with a good sized piece in her hand. Quickly she tied a knot and worked out a strategy in her mind. The tiger was crouched, ready to pounce, with Bucky standing opposite of it. Quietly Lucy stepped out behind the animal and with a sudden burst, leapt towards it. She felt it wrenching its body back and forth as she pulled the looped rope around its neck and gripped tightly with her legs.

"Now, Bucky!" She yelled, and Bucky sprang into action, swinging forcefully at the creature's roaring head. Pausing only a second on each form, it morphed into several different animals, only to find itself still trapped in each one. With a final blow, Bucky felt the animal finally go unconscious and they watched as it transformed back to the woman.

They didn't, however, have time to congratulate each other as Lucy looked up to see another man already storming in. "Please don't tell me you change into animals too." She said, catching her breath.

The man didn't respond but simply scowled back at them, his hands outstretched at his sides. They both watched as the air around his hands clouded and a cold front of air descended on the room. Bucky readied himself to charge at the man but was taken aback when he saw a figure sailing through the air, crowbar in hand. He watched in amusement as Lucy rammed the object hard into the unsuspecting man's head, knocking him out in one blow.

Having succeeded in her goal she turned and walked back towards Bucky who had an inquisitive smirk playing across his face.

"What?" She asked, tossing the crowbar aside. "I didn't really feel like getting frozen to death again." He just laughed and put his arm around her shoulder, the two walking out of the room together.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing." Bucky replied.

"You were giving me that look." She argued, raising an eyebrow at him.

"It was just unexpected that's all." He said with a chuckle.

Both heard the sound of footsteps to their left and turned simultaneously, drawing their I.C.E.R.S. towards the sound.

"Don't shoot, it's us." May exclaimed hurriedly as she and Lincoln raised their arms in the air.

Lucy and Bucky both lowered their weapons. "Any word on where Jiying is?" Bucky asked.

Lincoln shook his head. "No sign of her yet, but she's definitely here somewhere." The four all froze, feeling the floors and walls around them trembling. "I'm going to wager a guess and say Daisy just found her though." Lincoln added as the quaking ceased. Lucy's eyes shot quickly to the stairwell, but three more Inhumans were already approaching from the other end of the hallway.

"Go find Skye, we can handle this." May said, motioning for the two to leave. Lucy nodded and they rushed to the stairs, climbing their way once again to the upper deck.

Lucy inhaled sharply seeing the color quickly draining from Skye's face, her mother's hands gripped around it. "Bucky, wait!" Lucy yelled as he barged past her heading straight for the two women.

Jiying frowned at the man charging towards her and released her grip on Skye to focus on him. Skye scrambled back, trying to regain herself, and Lucy hurried to help her. "He doesn't understand what he's getting into." She sputtered. "She'll kill him!" Lucy nodded, but Skye wasn't satisfied. "He's got no defense, you've got to get him to back off."

Lucy pinched her eyebrows together and looked up to see Bucky deflect one of Jiying's advances with the metal of his arm. "God luck with that." He said smugly as she curled her fingers around the smooth metal. His smirk faded as he felt the energy being ripped away from his body regardless, and he looked up to see her smiling over him as he slowly fell to his knees.

Lucy faintly registered hearing Skye's voice calling after her, begging her to be careful, as she marched vehemently towards Jiying, her jaw set. "Let go of him." She commanded loudly. She saw Bucky flash her a glance telling her to get away but she ignored it. "I said, let him go!" She repeated, louder than before.

"Why, you're too impatient to wait for your turn?" Jiying asked. Lucy set her jaw and lunged at Jiying, pulling her shoulders towards her and driving her knee into the woman's stomach. Jiying recoiled and released her grip on Bucky who quickly fell back, gasping for air.

"Impressive." Jiying said, regaining her posture. "Or just stupid, I'm not entirely sure which."

The redhead just gritted her teeth, "Maybe you should try taking on someone your own size." The corner of Jiying's mouth twitched upward and Lucy saw the telltale spark in her eye signaling she was about to lunge at her. Effortlessly Lucy dodged to the side, grabbing Jiying's forearm firmly with her own hand.

As she expected, Jiying instantly set to draining Lucy of her energy, but she was only greeted with a smirk. "Weren't expecting that, were you?" Lucy said as she reciprocated Jiying's actions.

"I've heard of you." Jiying breathed, both now fighting for the upper hand. "HYDRA's little puppet."

"Yeah, and you're so much better." Lucy quipped back.

Jiying glared back a Lucy, her expression fierce. "They thought they could use science to make you something great, but they were wrong. They tried to do themselves what nature had already done itself, but science will never make you what I am." Jiying wrenched her arm sideways and Lucy let out a small gasp as she felt the energy rushing out of her body and into Jiying.

Lucy fervently tried to fight back, to pull back some of the energy from Jiying, but the harder she tried the faster she weakened. Jiying's powers were far stronger than her own and Lucy suddenly felt very vulnerable. She finally understand what it felt like to be her own victim. She blinked several times, trying to fight the fuzziness crowding her senses and vaguely registered Bucky shouting something indiscernible.

Just as Lucy was about to give in Jiying let go, kicking her forcefully to the ground. Lucy felt herself being pushed onto her side, everything still feeling as though it were spinning. Jiying was saying something to her, but her muddled brain couldn't process it. All she felt was the searing pain shooting up her spine where it all seemed to pool in her pounding head.

"Please, don't." She pleaded through strangled breaths, though she couldn't be sure if the words had really been out loud. Her whole body felt like it was burning up from the inside and the pain didn't show any sign of stopping.

"Skye, do something!" She heard Bucky shouting, though his voice seemed miles away. Lucy felt the deck shake, and she knew Skye had done just that. Jiying was thrown violently forward and Lucy saw her sprawled against the ground, Skye charging after her mother once again.

Pushing the searing pain away as best she could, Lucy rolled herself back towards Bucky who was hurriedly scrambling towards her. "Are you okay?" He asked anxiously.

Lucy ignored his question. "You're bleeding." She said reaching up towards his brow where a small trickle of blood was running down his face. She was doing her best to make herself seem fine, but Bucky saw through it in a heartbeat.

"Lou, I swear to god, if you try and—"

Lucy knew what he was going to say but proceeded anyway to place her hand on his face, trying to heal him. "It—it won't work." She said in disbelief, lowering a trembling hand.

Bucky was letting out a defeated sigh. "It's a good thing too, if it had I would've had to bring you back to life just so I could kill you myself. You're a class act stubborn idiot sometimes, you know that?"

"Buck?" Lucy murmured softly, and he met her gaze. "I—I—can't move my legs." He saw the concern in her eyes and he searching for a way to reassure her, even though he had already come to a fairly definite conclusion as to why. Lucy and Bucky both heard a cracking snap, and turned instantly to see Skye's father holding Jiying in his arms, her body limp and lifeless.


	34. Chapter 34

A young man held his mother's arm steady as she made her way slowly across the floor of the hospital waiting room, and with a sigh of relief plopped into one of the padded chairs. Lucy watched as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, and leaned in, reassuring her that they would be able to go home soon.

Lucy sighed and turned her eyes to the large glass wall overlooking the courtyard below. With the trees all blossoming with the warmth of springtime the scenery was full of beauty. Yet Lucy felt as though she weren't able to enjoy it fully. There were too many things running through her mind. She looked down to the legs she still hadn't been able to move, still hadn't been able to feel. "It's not where I thought we'd end up." She murmured quietly to herself with a sigh. Her thoughts were soon interrupted, however, by the sound of her name echoing across the room.

"Ucy!" She smiled, knowing just who the voice belonged to. Lucy turned to see Skye exiting the elevator, Addy in tow. The girl's eyes brightened at Lucy's smile and eagerly she set off, dashing in Lucy's direction.

"There's my little munchkin!" Lucy said, pulling the girl up onto her lap. "Well and who's this guy?" She asked, motioning to the teddy bear in her hands.

Addy beamed, "Daisy got him for me!"

"Oh did she now?" Lucy said, looking up to Skye who had now made her way across the room to join them. "That was very nice of her."

"Look, he even has his own sweater, see!" Lucy chuckled, enjoying watching the girl's enthusiasm.

"It was nothing." Skye said, shrugging. "How are you feeling?"

Lucy sighed, "Well, all things considered, not that bad. It's nice to know I won't be setting off metal detectors any longer, but at the same time it's a bit weird. It feels odd, not having it there anymore. I guess I really did get used to it."

Skye nodded, "They're just finishing up with Coulson now, and we've already got Bobbi ready to move back to base. We shouldn't be stuck here too much longer."

"How's she doing?" Lucy asked, referring to Bobbi.

"A bit shaken up." Skye answered slowly. "But I think she'll pull through. It won't be easy, but Hunter's already said he isn't leaving her side as long as he can help it so she won't be lacking in support."

"So does this mean you and Bucky are going to be out for good now?" Skye asked after a few moments of silence.

"Bucky's mind was made up before we came back. He didn't even want to take this mission, said it was too risky." Lucy replied. "I suppose he was right about that. Besides, we've got other things to focus on now." She said, running her fingers over Addy's braided hair.

"Well, you'll be missed I can tell you that." Skye responded. "But just remember, if I don't get an invite to the wedding you're dead to me." Lucy laughed, and assured her she'd be coming.

"Besides, if we didn't invite the team, who'd be there?" Bucky piped up, and Lucy turned to see him walking up behind Skye, a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a cup of coffee in the other.

Skye greeted Bucky before announcing, "You two probably have a bit of catching up to do, so we'll leave you to it. Come on Addy, let's go find Mack, what do you say?" The girl happily accepted and Lucy watched the two walk out, hand in hand.

Bucky wheeled Lucy over to the side of one of the benches overlooking the courtyard and took a seat next to her. He offered her the flowers, but she reached for the coffee instead. He laughed and set the flowers aside, "I figured as much."

She held the warm liquid to her lips, taking a long sip. "I've been dying for some caffeine all morning. Can you believe they wouldn't let me have any? Stingy witches, that's what they are."

"Those darn nurses, always trying to keep us alive and all." He said with a dramatic sigh, and Lucy grinned.

"So I hear Coulson's down an arm." She commented.

Bucky chuckled, "Yeah we're thinking of starting a club actually. The All Right Guys."

She laughed, lifting a hand to her face. "That was a really lame joke."

"Well it made you laugh didn't it?" Bucky countered, and Lucy simply rolled her eyes.

"How did your phone call go?" He asked when she handed the coffee back to him, having been satisfied.

"Tony's already begging me to let him make me some new legs. 'Totally epic' he says they would be." Lucy chuckled, shaking her head.

"What did you tell him?" Bucky asked.

Lucy bit her lip. "I said no. I don't know if I'm ready for that Buck." She paused. "I've been part machine the greater part of my life, I think it's time I figure out who I am as just me."

Bucky nodded, understanding. "So you're okay with knowing you'll never walk again?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I can't really be sure of anything anymore." She felt the pent up tears pushing at her eyes but she fought to keep them back.

"Well you know I'm going to support you either way." Bucky said. "If this is what you want, we'll find a way to make it work."

She looked up at him and took his hand. "Would you really still marry a stubborn, paralyzed hot mess of emotional instability?"

Bucky smiled. "Only if you'll marry a one armed ex-HYDRA agent with a tendency of losing his shit every once in a while."

Lucy couldn't help but laugh. "We're a sad pair aren't we?"

"The world will never know what hit them."

* * *

 _ **Thank you all SO SO much for sticking with this story all the way through, I hope you enjoyed it! I've started on a sequel that would connect this story to civil war, but unsure if I will end up posting or not... so I guess if you want to get updates for that in the future you can author-follow me! And as always, I love LOVE your reviews. You guys are amazing!**_


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